Abandoned
by octobersky69
Summary: Maura finds herself no longer wanted, so she moves on, little does she know Casey sabotaged her life. Will Jane realize whats really happened, Will Maura want to come backor will Maura be gone for good? Rating it T for future, but really a K .
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I really hated how they changed Jane's character last season to this person who was falling all over Casey, a man that she talked to over a computer 2 times, yeah she went to High school with him but that was 18 some yrs ago, not to mention the original Jane character that was introduced to us in season 1 was no where near this giggly teenager that she portrayed, I cannot believe that Angie Harmon would allow her character be portrayed like that. I am so not going to like seeing back in season 4, maybe Maura should have her mob family take him out, yes! Well anyways onto the story.

Chapter 1: Maura's Journal

Journal Entry: May 21, 2013

Today started out like every other day had these past few months. I walked into the cafe to get my morning coffee and greeted Angela. 3 months ago she moved out of the guest house and into a small apartment not too far from Tommy. She said at the time it was to be closer to her grandson T.J., but lately I really begin to question if that was the reason. We talk when we can, but the close rapport that we developed when she lived with me, has seemed to disappear. I sometimes wonder if I did something wrong, if I somehow made her feel like she wasn't welcome. The more I think back the more confused I get, because I just cannot figure where everything went wrong.

Four years ago I would never have given it a second thought, but then four years ago I was a loner, who had no friends to speak of, and parental units that were not a focal point in my life. I focused on my work, and my companion was my tortoise. Then I made a friend in Jane Rizzoli and soon became a fixture in her family. I started to realize what I had been missing in life, I finally was able to fill the lonely empty space in my heart. The Rizzoli's taught me what it was like to have siblings, what holidays were all about, not gifts but togetherness. I learned how to open up with feelings and when to just be there and hold a friend. In all reality I learned to be human. I was soon becoming normal and not a social misfit. I still have a ways to go, I do not always respond to all situations properly, I still need to learn how to better read people, but I felt like I was getting there. I really thought that this family that took me under their wing was for life. I thought I would no longer ever have to feel like a third wheel, an imposition. I never thought that they would push me away and give up on me, like everyone else had done in my life. I find myself reverting back to the person I once I had been. I am no longer asked to go for drinks to the robber, since Jane is with Casey, Vince and Barry don't seem to need the M.E. Around with them. Thursday movie night no longer exists, Casey doesn't see why Jane needs to hang out with me like that, now that she has him. Jane has Sunday Family Dinner now at her apartment, but I am no longer invited, Casey put a stop to that too. He came to see me one day and told me that I am not family and that if I were around she would feel compelled to talk to me, but that would be a distraction to their growing relationship, and that they needed to work on them. Casey even went on to say that it wasn't healthy for a woman in a committed relationship to hang out with someone who has no desire to settle down and marry, but rather pick up whatever man strikes her fancy for a one night stand. So I simply stopped going, its not like Jane really noticed or cared, she even stopped coming down to the morgue, no more lunches, no more laughs over a cadavor, no more hugs, no more sleepovers, no more Jane.

So that is why today as I head towards the fourth floor, instead of the morgue, I feel a bit lighter, I am about to change my path once again and for the first time in months I feel okay with it, I have said my goodbyes in words on paper, it has lifted the heaviness in my heart, and so now I can move on peacefully. My first stop is Lieutenant Cavanaughs Office, its time to let him know that I will no longer be his Chief Medical Examiner, I have already given the Governor my resignation and he has already appointed a new one from my recommendation, but I needed to tell Sean myself, he had been a friend, he helped me through my issues with Doyle, so I owed it to him. I assured him that Dr. Pike would not be the new Chief, but someone who was as good as or maybe even better than myself. He wanted to bring everyone together for a final goodbye, but I asked him not too. I needed to do this in my own way. Maybe it was the easy way out, but I knew that I would never be able to say a final goodbye face to face. The letters will have to do, they convey everything that was once my heart, I only have a pumping organ contained in my chest now, I have become more robot again, I am basically a human automaton. I am a shell, I no longer care about feelings, I am here on this earth as a scientist only, I am here to find ways to make things better for others, I no longer matter.

I walk back into the BRIC, I see Vince, Barry and Jane, they are discussing a case; they do not seem to even notice my presence, so I leave the envelope on Janes desk and turn to leave. I hear someone call out for Dr. Isles, I turn to find Jane asking me if I needed something, I smile at first, but the lack of my first name from her mouth only proves that this part of me was over, so I say that I just had to deliver some notes and make my exit. I never looked back, maybe if I had I would have noticed the sad look on Janes face, but I didn't, I couldn't. I made my way to Tommy's apartment next, Lydia was home, she asked me in but I declined. I asked her to give the envelopes to Tommy and Angela, as I turned to leave she engulfed me in a big hug. I think she may have known, maybe she saw my blank eyes, I do not know, she asked if I wanted to talk, but I again declined, I gave T.J. A big kiss and left.

Its now 2 hours later and I am sitting on a flight to Geneva, Switzerland. I will be working at the headquarters for Medecines Sans Frontieres, you may know it as Doctors without Borders. I will see how it goes, I may end up going back into the field, I will see where my new life takes me. Time for dinner so I shall close for now, Tomorrow starts a New Journey.


	2. Chapter 2: The Letters

Chapter 2: The Letters

When I heard the clicking of heels coming up behind me, I couldn't believe it. Here was someone who had once been very important to me, someone who had become apart of my family, but also the person who through us aside. I didn't know what to feel, I hadn't been in the same room as her in months. Apart of me missed her, the other part hated her for using us, for hurting Ma. I always had a feeling that we were not good enough for her, so when I turned I smoke with venom in my voice, because that is all my heart contained for her anymore. What I saw was shocking though, I noticed her eyes, they were empty, they were sad, it was like everything that was Maura was gone, like she was dead inside. Wow was she really the Queen of the Dead. Once I snapped myself out of it, she had already turned and left. Why was she here? I turned back to Frost and Vince, they just shrugged their shoulders and continued with the case. A half hour later Cavanaugh was entering the squad room with a man, he began to introduce him, but as soon as I heard Chief Medical Examiner, I froze, wait a minute, what happened with Maura I thought, but then I also thought why do I care. I found myself sitting at my desk, that is when I noticed an envelope with my name on it, Maura's handwriting. I just continued sitting here staring at it.

Angela had a really long day, she was working 2 jobs now, During the early morning hours she worked at a dry cleaners and then in the morning/afternoon she worked at the cafe, by 2pm she was headed home for a nap, before she had babysitting duty for T.J., so when she got there and found Lydia at her doorstep, she began to wonder if she forgot something. She was surprised to see that Lydia had a letter for her from Maura. Angela was still hurt that Maura wanted her out of the guest house, she couldn't believe it when she received that text from her. She didn't even have the guts to say it to her face, but Angela was proud and didn't want to make a stink, so she took her little belongings and was gone that same day. She never approached Maura about it, she remained civil, but Maura was no longer family to her, no longer that 2nd daughter. So she was confused to why Maura would contact her through this letter, maybe she wanted back rent, no she wasn't that mean was she? So she thanked Lydia and entered her apartment. She would make herself some tea and then read the letter.

Tommy worked 3rd shift, so when Lydia returned to the apartment, he was just waking up. She kissed him good morning and began to make him lunch. When she was done she brought him the letter and explained about Maura's visit. Tommy was a big believer in second chances, so he hoped the letter was an apology for her horrible treatment of the family that once took her in. He ate his sandwich while reading what she had to say.

**Angela sat down and began reading her letter**

_My dearest Angela, _

_Where do I begin? I want to apologize for whatever I may have done to push you away from me. It seems that no matter who I become close to in my life, they eventually leave me, or at least keep me at a distance. When I was first included in the Rizzoli Family I was amazed at how quickly you all took me in as one of your own. You seemed to be okay with my social awkwardness, you never seemed to mind my endless babble, what Jane would call my googlemouth. You had became a mother to me, the best mom out of the three I have had. The only one who ever showed me affection. I will always be thankful for the time I had with you all, I will keep those memories safe in my heart. It has become too hard to live in Boston now, knowing that can no longer be a part of your lives, I know that a lot has to do with Casey and I know that you want nothing more than to see Jane happy, married and giving you more grand babies. I want Jane happy too, that is why I did not push the issue when Casey told me I was not welcome to family dinners. That I was not family, he said that I should have learned from jane by now that blood means more than water. He said he felt that my friendship with Jane was not healthy for their relationship. He pretty much accused me of being a whore, which I trully do not believe that I am, as matter of fact I have not had relations in over a year. I seem to be unable to attract a partner in life either, I will probably die an old spinster. Said that she did not need to go out to bars anymore, that if there is a movie to watch, then she will watch it with him. The point of this letter is to thank you for what you gave me in life, and to wish you happiness in your's. I would have enjoyed watching T.J. Grow up, but he will never get the chance to know his strange unrelated aunt. I would have figured out how to be okay with Jane no longer being my best friend,. I thought I had gained friends with Vince, Barry, Frankie and Tommy as well, but I guess that they only liked me for Jane's sake, when I started to lose Jane I lost them as well. So I tried to go back to the way I was when I first arrived back here in Boston, but these past few months were even lonelier than when I had no friends, because before I did not know what I was missing, but now I do. I can no longer look at my kitchen , because all I see are images of family that once laughed with me around the table, I can no longer handle seeing you in the cafe and know that I am not allowed to have a meaningful conversation, to share my daily life with you. I haven't been able to go up to the Homicide Unit, because I know I am not welcome. The City of Boston has too many reminders, too many memories, that it makes my heart ache just knowing that I have no one left to make memories with. I am so so sorry for not being enough. Look after Jane for me, I know you will anyways, but at one time I was the one who was able to ground her, I am not sure she lets Casey do that for her. Well I have said enough I guess, I am moving on with my life, I do not know where I am headed, or what is out there for me, but I will no longer let anyone in, it hurts way too much. _

_With all my Love, _

_Maura Isles_

By now Angela is crying, her body shaking with uncontrollable sobs. She is confused and angry. Her Maura didn't kick her out, Her Maura was told she was no longer family. How dare that man do such a thing? Was Jane apart of it? Why did let Casey talk me out of approaching Maura when this happened? Who sent those texts to me? Angela is able to calm down a bit, she gets up and wipes her nose. She pulls herself together enough to walk over to Tommy and Lydia's.

Tommy opens up the letter and begins to read

_Dear Tommy,_

_I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you. When we first met you were trying to get a new start on life. Yes you struggled a bit, but you never gave up. I believe it had a lot to do with the great Rizzoli Family support system. You have the best mom, brother and sister a person could ask for. I have seen you with T.J. And I know you will be a great dad to him, I hope you and Lydia continue to develop the great relationship that I know you can have. I am sorry for not being enough for, for doing enough. I had hoped to be apart of T.J.'s life, but that is no longer in the cards. I know that it is not easy for you and Lydia sometimes to cover expenses, and I know you are too proud to except money from me, so what I decided to do, is set up a trust fund for T.J., when he is 21 he can decide if he wants to use it for college, or take the lump sum. The legal papers are inside, you do not have to tell him who it is from. I get that I am no longer welcome in your family, but thank you for all of those chess matched and idle conversation, it was very much appreciated by me. I wish only the best for you and your family._

_Love always, Maura Isles_

Tommy was staring at the letter, he read it several times without even uddering a sound, and that is how his Ma found him, after Lydia let her in.

"Tommy, what did she say to you?" Angela asked

"Ma, Why does Maura think we gave up on her? Why does she think she is no longer wanted? I thought she hated us for some reason? What the hell is going on?" Tommy wondered

"I think we need to see Jane, but away from Casey, I think he is the reason for all of this."Angela said

Lydia said she would call off work for the night so that Angela and Tommy could go see Jane, Tommy too called his boss and asked if he could be a little late this evening and that he would make up for it by staying later if they wanted. His boss gave him the time. Angela and Tommy headed to the station to catch Jane before she left for the night, Angela texted Korsak to ensure she didn't leave before they got there.

Jane was still sitting at her desk staring at the letter, when Frost walked up and handed her a letter opener and said, "It's not going to read itself, so you might as well read it already."

Jane finally turned and looked up at him, she replied "yeah, I guess I should, I wonder why she even wants to say goodbye, its not like we have been friends of late, I mean if that's what this is, Do you think that's what this is?"

Frost laughed a little and said,"there is only one way to find out, open it." and with that he left Jane alone at her desk, she would need some privacy.


	3. Chapter 3: Jane's Letter

Chapter 3: Jane's Letter

Jane took a deep breath and opened the letter. Her hands were shaking a bit, but decided it was probably too much coffee, why should she be afraid of this letter, it was silly.

I_ am at a loss as to how to address this letter to you. Should it be Dear Jane, Detective Rizzoli, or To Whom it may Concern? It feels strange that it has come down to this once again, the unease of which to act with you. I thought after we had our little fight, with the warehouse incident, that we were never going to allow ourselves to ruin our friendship again, in fact I thought we were even closer after that. We both had agreed how much we couldn't handle not having each other in our lives. So that is why I do not understand why I find myself once again completely alone, with no best friend to speak of. I find myself stripped of the family that I had come to not only love, but need. What did I do to upset you? Was our friendship only a buffer until you were to find someone else to share things with, do things with? Was I that easy to replace? Did I miss a social cue once again? I mean I had never had a friend before you, maybe I didn't get the memo which stated, you are only friends until your other friend gets into a romantic relationship with man. I have never cancelled on you for a date. I never avoided you. I was always there for you, whether it be at 3am or 2 in the afternoon. I guess it really does not matter anymore, you have no desire to be my friend anymore, to be in my life. I just never thought you would take your whole family and friend network away from me as well. I guess they were never mine to begin with, they must have been renting themselves out, for you. I guess you guys got the last laugh on the Queen of the Dead. Once again I find myself having been a burden and not the person I thought I had become. I hate you for that, Why did you have to be nice to me all those years ago? Why couldn't you have let me be the lonely nerd I once was? Why did you have to introduce me to a normal life, a loving family and friendship? I cannot go back to who I was anymore, you broke me, ruined me. I am a shell of a person, I am a human automaton. I can no longer feel, I can no longer smile. I can no longer live in the City that I have known as my home for all of my life. I only see sadness when I walk by the Common, or walk into the coffee shop __down the street from my home. Home, well that isn't even right anymore, its not a home, it is a building now. I can't get the images of Sunday family dinner out of my head. Tommy and I playing chess, Frankie and you fighting over the remote, or Angela standing in the kitchen with that beautiful smile on her face. It all hurts so much to think of. Why does Casey hate me so? What did I do to offend him? Why was it so hard for him to see me as part of the Family? He told me I was unwelcome. He told me that I was not family. He said Blue class and White class had no business interacting. He told me that he would make sure that Angela was no longer in my home, that I was no longer apart of your life. He told me that if I attempted to tell you any of this, that I would be taking away your happiness, your shot at marriage and a family. I would be taking away grandchildren for Angela. He said that you agreed to it all, I said I didn't believe him, but then I got your text, I will never forget what it said "Maura, leave me and my family alone, you are not one of us, remember water vs blood, I am happy now, you are not needed. Your ex friend, Jane"_

_So I finally realized that I had only one choice, you win, Casey wins. I will leave Boston for good, and you can pretend that I never existed. I did not belong in this life from the beginning, I have been used by those around me for whatever gains they achieved. I do not regret being apart of those gains, for if I have helped in anyway, then I am living my life as I had planned and that is benefiting others. I no longer need to feel loved, I have realized that is not what is intended for me in life, I was put here to do what I can for others. _

_So that is where I shall end this, I wish you only the best. _

_Sincerely, _

_Dr. Maura _

_P.S. Tell Frankie that I said thank you for being like a brother, I know he never quite understood me, but for your sake, he put up with me._

Jane was quietly sobbing, she had tears rolling down her face that she kept wiping away. Her body was rocking forward and backward, she was going into shock. Jane was so out of it she did not notice her Ma and Tommy approaching her.

Angela took one look at her daughter and knew she too had received a letter from Maura, Jane's hands were clutching the papers in a death grip. Angela was slow in her approach as she wrapped her arms around her daughter, she held her tight as the sobbing became louder. Jane was able to calm down with the aide of her mothers comfort. She began to pull away and look at both her Ma and Tommy, it was written all over there faces, they too had been shocked by letters from Maura. So they just stared at one another for a minute, not knowing what to say, when Jane finally broke the silence.

"Ma, why didn't we question Maura? Why did we so quickly assume that she had sent up those texts, those emails? How could we have thought that Maura, would be so quick in turning her back on us? How could we have believed that she would change so quick? What have I done Ma?"

Angela took a deep breath, took her daughters hands in her own and said" Jane honey, we all failed Maura in this by not questioning her. But, the person who is most to blame, is the one who really sent those texts and emails, the one who acted so innocently when he convinced us that it was for the best to let Maura go, the one who lies to your face when he says he loves you, Casey is responsible."

Angela then continued when Jane just sat there. "Jane, how did he do all this? Why did he do all of this? How could you have avoided Maura for so long? I tried to talk to her when I saw her, but she was always so distant, I didn't know how to talk to her anymore; but how could you not have said anything? You never feared confrontation, I just don't understand how he got away with this. What are you going to do?"

Jane was sitting there, she had heard everything her Ma was saying, and she had been wondering the same thing, Why didn't she call Maura on her behavior? How could she have gone 2 months without trying to talk with her, to find out why she had been so mean? Well Jane knew why, she had been trying to get her best friend out of her head, she was trying to not see the beautiful M.E. She did not want to admit that she was in fact, in love with Maura. So instead she saw the distance as a gift or a sign from God, she could move on with Casey, she could follow the path that was meant for her. She was from an Italian Catholic Family, she was raised to believe that when you grew up, you were to settle down with a good husband and raise a family of more good catholic kids and that the cycle would just keep going. It didn't matter that she was not in love with Casey, she loved him yes, as you would love a friend or pet. How many people really fall deeply and hopelessly in love with someone? How many people really find a soul mate? So what if she all those things in Maura. So what if she believed that Maura loved her too. Her plan was to never be alone with her best friend, unless it was work related. She could still be around her at family gatherings, they could still do Friday Robber nights, maybe eventually they could do double dates; all Jane needed to do, was get her head back on straight.

Jane knew why Casey reacted the way he did, why he went to such extremes as to hurt Maura. Just a little over 2 months ago, when they first started to give their relationship a try, Jane had a bad habit of always talking about Maura on their dates. Casey joked about it at first, but after the 3rd date it became their first fight. So Jane had to make sure she left Maura out of their dates. Then a few weeks later when they were making love, Jane shouted out Maura's name when she climaxed. Casey got up and walked out that night, he couldn't even look at her. Jane crawled back though, because she was convinced that this was what her Ma would be happy with, and Tommy and Frankie loved Casey too.

It took a her a few days to convince him that he was the one for her, and that the only reason her name had come out, was because some scientific thing Maura had told her about orgasms, that was why she had her on her mind, she had reached this event with Casey, and that Maura was right about the effect on a woman's body. He seemed to buy it, he acted like he bought it. But now Jane knew that she was the one who pushed him to do what he thought would be the only way to have her 100%. Unfortunately, what he didn't know, was that although Jane was able to refrain from screaming Maura's name, she always pretended that it was Maura making love to her and that her new found nickname for him, Babe, was really her way of screaming for her best friend instead. What was she going to do? She needed to fix this. She needed to apologize to Maura, she needed to confront Casey. She needed to apologize to her family. She also needed to be completely truthful with her Ma first.

Angela had been patiently waiting for Jane to same something, she had been sitting there for seemed like 10 minutes without moving, so she gently prodded her and said, "Janie are you okay, maybe we should go get something to drink, and talk about this away from here"

Jane blinked a few times and responded, "Yeah Ma, lets get out of here, Tommy if its okay I need to talk to Ma alone, I promise I will let you know whats happening later okay. I will take care of Casey and I promise, I will find Maura. Tell Lydia I said hi and give T.J. A big kiss from his Aunt." Jane gives Tommy a hug and kiss on the cheek, she grabs her Ma's hand and leads them to the elevators, she had never been so nervous or scared in her entire life. She may lose her family, just as Maura thought she had.


	4. Chapter 4: Mother & Daughter Talk

Chapter 4: Mother & Daughter Talk

Jane and her Mother walked over to the Common. They took a seat on the bench overlooking Frog Pond. They just sat there for a few minutes before Jane began to speak.

"Ma, I need to explain some things to you, but I am not sure how you are going to respond. I love you, Tommy and Frankie so much, and the thought of me disappointing any of you is really scaring me. I can't lose my family, and I think I may if I try to fix this situation. But I also know that I have to do something, because I cannot let Maura go on believing that she is in the wrong for any of this. I know she has to be hurting something terrible, I know that she is in a very dark place and I am the one responsible for putting her there."

Jane has tears rolling down her face, Angela reaches over to wipe them away, she grabs Jane's hand and says, "Jane, first of all you are my daughter, I will love you always, there is nothing you could tell me that would change that. If I have ever done or said anything to make you think that I would ever give up on you, then I have failed as a mother. You kids are my life, and Maura may not be biologically mine, but she is one my kids, I hurt if any of you hurt. Now I may not agree with things you kids may do, but that does not mean I will not love you. I don't like that you and Frankie are cops, but I respect what you do, I still love you's right? Look at Tommy, he ran over a priest for God's sake, and I still love him. I would never give up on my kids, and what makes me mad at myself, is that I gave up on Maura. Now I don't know why you blame yourself, but I know why I blame me, I let that ass Casey, who is not even as close to being like a son to me, convince me that Maura was not my daughter, I am ashamed that I allowed it to happen. To be honest I can't stand him, I never thought he was good enough for you, but I love you and if he is who you want then, so be it. I'll bite my tongue, just so long as I get some grandchildren out of the deal."

Jane pulls her Ma into a hug, they stay like this for sometime, then Jane takes deep breath and decides that it is time, and she says," Ma, I was only trying to make things work with Casey for you. I thought that was what you wanted for me in life. You were always trying to set me up with these guys, and I always saw the disappointment in your face, so when Casey came around I thought that he could be that guy to give you those grandchildren. He seemed to be okay with me being a cop, and well I got along with him. Do I love him, yeah, as a buddy; but I am not in love with him. Being with Casey allowed me to avoid feelings that I have for someone else, someone who I didn't feel safe to love, not that they are bad, but someone who you may not want me to be with. I never thought I could love someone the way I love them, but I convinced myself that it was wrong too, because I was afraid. I mean I never saw you and Pop ever be overly affectionate, so I mean I thought maybe that most people just settled in life to do the right thing, to not be alone and to raise a family. So I screwed up", "Jane its Maura isn't it," Angela interrupted Jane. Jane looked at her mother like she had 2 heads, and said, "Yes Ma, its Maura, and I am so sorry, I know its wrong, and I am really trying to fight it, but I ruined everything, I don't even know if she would ever forgive me for letting things get this out of hand."

Angela lifted Jane's chin and looked her straight in her eyes, who said its wrong Jane? Who said we can't love who we love? The Catholic church?, which we haven't even listened to for so many years? What do they Know? Their priests like to diddle with little boys, that's a horrible offense, how dare they judge people for who they love, who are they to decide what is right and wrong? I do not think our God would give up on you for loving somebody, even if they are the same sex. I think gay people have happier relationships sometimes. I mean they have to fight to love their partners, and if they are worth fighting for, then so be it, let them love one another. I would be honored to call Maura my Daughter-in-law. I blame myself for not letting you know that I would be okay, I am so sorry honey.:

Jane was crying again, she hugged her Ma tightly and just sat their for a few minutes. She finally spoke up once she got her crying under control, "Ma, its my fault, I think Casey realized that I was in love with Maura. I think he started to pay attention to how we acted around one another. He approached me early on, and I convinced him that we were just really close friends, I promised him that I would spend less time with her and concentrate on us, but I never thought he would do what he did. I actually thought when Maura was pulling away that it was a blessing. Oh my God, what am I going to do? How am I going to make this all better?"

Angela gently shook her daughter, and said, "Listen here Jane, first we are going to go have a talk with Casey, and I mean we, because I have a few things to say to that man. Then we are going to get a hold of Barry and have him locate Maura. While he is doing that, we will have a family meeting over at Tommy and Lydia's, You will come out and tell them what has happened and why, I will be there supporting you. Then we will all go bring her home, she will see her family in full Rizzoli mode, do you understand?"

Jane finally smiled at her Ma and said, "Thank you Ma, I love you so much, now lets go!"


	5. Chapter 5 : The Confrontation

A/N: Thank you so much to all who have reviewed, favorited and followed! I had the biggest smile plastered to my face all night! It was a real confidence booster, especially since this is only my third story out there. I hope I continue to do this story justice.

Chapter 5: The Confrontation

Jane had texted Casey and asked him to meet her at her apartment. He said he would be there in 15 and asked if he should pick up something for them to eat. She of course said no, that she had other plans for the evening.

Angela and Jane were sitting at the Kitchen Bar when Casey opened the door with his key. He called out "Hey Honey, I picked up your favorite beer on the way." he had been all smiles until he saw Angela standing there. Then he turned on the charm and said "Hi Ma, what brings you by?"

Angela could not believe he had the nerve to call her Ma, she huffed and said, "I am not, nor do I ever plan on being, your Ma. I already have 4 children and you are not one of them."

Casey was shocked, why was Jane's mom being somewhat hostile with him, They had always seemed to get along, but then he rethought what she had just said and asked, "what do you mean 4 kids, I count 3, Jane, Tommy and Frankie, did you have a love child or something that Janie never mentioned?"

Angela began to glare at him, and told him to sit down. She then told him not to open his mouth until she was done. "For your information my fourth child is Maura," Casey then interrupted her and yelled, "what the hell do mean Maura, she is not your daughter, and she is not apart of this family. How could even say that after what she has said to you? She kicked you out on the street, did you forget that?"

"I SAID TO SHUT UP YOUNG MAN, DO NOT MAKE ME TELL YOU AGAIN,"Angela yelled.

"Do you think we wouldn't find out the truth? Do you think that you were going to get away with turning us against her? How dare you play with someones life like that. She never hurt you, in fact she tried to help you when you were hurt, she tried to get you into that experimental program. This is how you treat someone who doesn't have a vindictive bone in her body! I am ashamed at myself for letting you talk me into believing the worst of Maura, I had been in shock, and I let you persuade me that she didn't belong, I was a fool. It is you who does not belong. You don't give a damn about my daughter, if you did, then when you first realized that my Janie wasn't in love with you, you should have stepped aside; but instead you play this horrible game with Maura's life, and string Janie along, why to punish her? I will be filing a report with the police for your tampering of my phone, and computer and I believe everyone else you interfered with will join me as well, I will also sue you for libel, unless you get the hell out of Boston and you don't come back. I am sure the military will be happy to transfer you. I do not want you anywhere near Janie or the rest of our family and friends. Do I make myself clear?

Casey was beyond pissed right now. He knew Maura had to have opened up her mouth, how else did they know. Well if he had been found out he would make sure to take Jane down too, he knew something that good ol' Ma Rizzoli would never be to handle about her daughter, so he just came out and said it, "Jane's a Dyke, and a horrible lay, she is so broken from Hoyt that she doesn't like to be touched, she just lays there, your daughter was lucky that I even wanted her, no one else would even think twice to stick around, she may have been thinking of Maura when we had sex, but it was my dick that pleasuring her, "Angela swung her arm back and punched Casey with everything she had, Casey stumbled back and fell off the couch. His nose was bleeding and his upper lip was already beginning to swell, Angela stood over him and said, "Don't you dare talk about my daughter like that, and don't use such disgusting words. I was happy to hear that she was in love with Maura, she is the better half for my Janie, and you couldn't please a mouse with that pathetic thing you call a dick, the only reason my Janie reached an orgasm with you is because she pictured the gorgeous Maura Isles, the only thing you provided was a small realistic looking dildo. Now get the Hell out of this Apartment, oh and give me the key, you will not be coming back!"

Jane never moved from the kitchen, she stood there in complete awe of her Ma, this was proof of how not to mess with Mama Rizzoli's family, she defended her cubs with a ferocity that Jane had never seen. She had never been more proud than right now of her mom and she knew from this moment on, she would be more loving to her mom and not complain so much. She had the best Ma. Jane watched as Casey got up from the floor, he threw his key down on the table and walked out the door without even looking back, he never once looked at Jane, he just left. Once the door closed Jane moved to her mother, and engulfed her into a big hug and said, "Thank you Ma, I don't think I ever gave you enough credit before, I have never seen you stand up like that, Pop was sure lucky you didn't rip him a new one, I don't know what I would do without you, and I don't have the words to say how much I love you, but just know I do." Angela winced a little from the pain in her hand, but tried to hide her pain as she said, "I love you too Janie, now lets go meet the boys okay." Jane pulled back a little and saw her mom's hand, it was all swollen and bloody, "Ma, we need to get you to the hospital first and have that looked at." Jane said. Angela gave in and they headed out the door. Once they arrived at the hospital, Jane texted her brothers to let them know her and Ma would be a little bit later.

2 hours later and wearing a pink cast in a black sling, Angela and Jane had finally reached Tommy and Lydia's apartment. When Tommy opened the door and his Ma walked in, everyone began talking at once asking what happened. Jane finally yelled for everyone to be quiet and to sit down, she then said," I will tell you all everything, but you need to calm down, this will take awhile to explain."

So jane went on to fill Frankie in about the letters from Maura and Casey's part in what had happened. She then went on to explain how there Ma confronted Casey, but she left out the parts about her being in love with Maura, that would come soon. Tommy and Frankie were smiling at there Ma, they were so proud of her, Lydia was a bit scared at first and thought to herself that she had better not cross Tommy or Angela, but laughed it off. Jane then asked them to all pay attention that she had something else to talk to them about. Angela reached out to Jane with her good hand and squeezed her tight, Jane calmed herself and began to talk. "I need you guys to know that Casey wasn't the only issue here, you are probably wondering why he would do this to Maura, well that would be because of me." You see I was only with Casey because I thought it was what I was supposed to do, you know find a man, marry him and give Ma grand kids, and I was willing to do that, even if it meant sacrificing what was most important to me. Unfortunately I did not realize that Casey had figured out my secret and he set out to make sure I would never be able to pursue my true dream. What he didn't realize was that I would never have left him, I was too scared to. That was until I came clean with Ma today, had I done it sooner, this would never have happened."

Frankie was the first to speak, "So Janie are you trying to tell us that you are in Love with Maura? 'cause if you are, Tommy and I had already thought that, but when you got with Casey we thought we were wrong. If you're worried about what we would say, don't be, we love Maura and we can see how happy you are when you are around her, not to mention, you are a whole lote nicer when she is around", Frankie laughs.

Jane is quiet for a moment and looks at the faces in the room, the says "I really screwed this up, if I had only trusted in my family and followed my heart, none of this would have happened. I would never have hurt Casey, and Maura would not have left Boston feeling so alone and unloved, when in fact she is loved so much. How am I going to ever apologize to her? Why would she want me now, after what I let happen? I am such an idiot."

Tommy speaks up now, "Look Jane, we all made a mistake with Maura, we all got caught up with what the texts and emails said, from who we thought at the time was Maura, I mean we never thought the day would come that she would tell our Ma that it was about time she was on her own, that her offer was never permanent, that her house was not a daycare; we were scrambling to figure out what we were going to do, none of us have any extra rooms, and when Casey said that we needed to be the bigger people and not cause a stink, it made sense. I mean prior to that Maura had started to act weird, she no longer offered to take care of T.J., she didn't come to Family Dinner no more, so when this came, it sorta felt like something she was leading up to. Now that we know the truth, yeah we can look at how we should have reacted, but we can't change what is done. So quit beating yourself up, and lets just go find her, okay."

Frankie seeing Jane think things through, mentioned, "I just texted Frost and asked him to meet us in Bric, he said he would see us in 20 min, so lets go get my sister back home, what do say Jane? You Coming?"

Jane was biting her lower lip and ran both her hands over her face and through her hair. She stood up and stretched, then looked around her and smiled. "You know what you guys are right, we can't change what has happened, but I can find her, correction, we can find her. I am not sure what we will find, but I think if she had the ability to write us those letters, then I know she still cares for us in her heart. I just hope that there is forgiveness for all of us, we broke the Rizzoli Motto, always trust in family, so lets go fix it. Lets go meet Frost!"


	6. Chapter 6: Where is Maura

**Champagne Henriot  
Cuvée des Enchanteleurs  
1995 Brut**

Read more at . #VXGIG08BhskT0H38.99

Maura had been on the flight for 6hrs, and the Plane was now landing in Dublin for 1hr and 35 min layover. Then it would be another 2 hours til they reached Geneva. Maura made her way through terminal 2, and headed to Flutes, it was a small restaurant that offered things from sweets and pastries to an extensive list of Champagnes and sparkling wines. She was greeted by a hostess and taken to a table near the bar. She ordered a glass of Henriot Cuvee des Enchanteleurs, 1995 Brut and Roasted Sea Scallop appetizer. She loved the Chardonnay's Aroma of hazelnut and caramel, it was the perfect flavor to go with the scallops. As she say there she began to think about what she was doing. She wondered if this was the right direction for her, should she jump right into working again. Maura began to watch the strangers around her, some were speaking french, some were British and others were Irish of course. She watched as a mother wipe her daughters face, a couple holding hands at the bar, she was taking in all of her surroundings. With only a half hour to spare before her next flight, Maura got up and headed for the ticket counter. She had made up her mind, she was going to take a holiday. She would call up her contact in Geneva, and explain that her arrival would be delayed.

When she reached the counter she informed them that she would not be advancing on, but staying here in Dublin for a few days, she also inquired about Hotels in the area. The woman directed her to their hospitality department where she could make all of her arrangements.

After about an hour, Maura had her Itinerary all setup. She arranged for a rental car, a Mercedes SLS-AMG, and was on her way to The Merrion, where she will be staying for 4 nights in the Garden Wing Suite. It was right along the Irish Sea, just south of Dublin. Then she would board the Dublin-Holy head Ferry fo hr cruise to Great Britain, where she would then drive 3 hours to Leeds and stay a week at Chambers Park Place, one of her favorite hotels in Britain. After that she would decide her next move, she was in no rush, she would relax and take her time. She would see what life through at her.

**BPD-BRIC**

Jane, her brothers and Angela all met up with Frost in the BRIC. They explained to him that they needed to find Maura. They only told him a brief version of what happened, mainly the part about Casey's deception, and how they needed to bring her home. So Frost started a trace on Maura's financial's, while that was running he went to another computer to access any calls she had made prior to her resignation. He noted a call made to Geneva, Switzerland 2 days before she gave her notice, he crossed referenced the number to the Headquarters for Medecines Sans Frontieres.

Jane dropped herself down into the chair and said, "Oh my God, she signed back up for Dr's without Borders, they could send her anywhere, even into violent situations. I need to call them and find out where they sent her."

Frost moved back over to the other computer and said, "it looks like she purchased airline tickets out of Boston, for Aer Lingus, I will check flight manifests to see where she was headed."

Frankie and Tommy smiled to one another and each put an arm around their MA, they were getting somewhere. Jane went to the computer to keep looking Maura's financials, and scrolled down to her most recent charge, europcar, a car rental company based out of Dublin Airport.

"Hey Jane Maura purchase a one way ticket to Geneva, Switzerland with a layover in Dublin, Ireland."Frost said.

"Can you check to see if she got on the flight from Dublin to Geneva, 'cause it shows here that she rented a car at the airport. Lets also check area hotels, higher end ones to start with, its Maura after all, and see if she is checked in anywhere." Jane said.

"No she was not on the manifest to Geneva, so I guess she did stay in Dublin, let me check to see how many 5 star hotels are in Dublin and then we can go from there."

After a few minutes and with the help of Angela, Tommy and Frankie, they were able to call around to all of the hotels.

Angela began yelling, "I found her, I found her, She is staying at the Merrion in South Dublin, she isn't set to leave for 4 days. We need to call the airlines and find out how much it will cost to fly there."

"Hang on Ma, that's going to be a fortune, we all can't just go. Frost check on the cheapest flight for me."

"I can find a one way ticket for $627 and then when you find her you can worry about getting home, or else a round trip costs twice that amount." said Frost.

Korsak has now entered BRIC and is looking around at the people in the room, he says "Why wasn't I invited to the party?"

Jane replies, "Hey Korsak, we had to find out where Maura went, now that we know where she is, we are trying to figure out how to go get her without having to sell my body parts on the black market."

Korsak looked at Jane like she had a second head and said, "Since when are we caring about the Doc again, I thought you all would be happy to see her go."

"It's along story Korsak, shortened version, Maura was not the one who sent the emails and texts, it was Casey. He basically set out to ruin her life. So now we need to bring her back home, and she is in Dublin for the next 4 days, and I will lose 1 day just to travel, so I need to figure this out, like now!"Said Jane.

Korsak shrugged his shoulders and said,"Why don't you call in a favor to Constance?, the Isles foundation has a couple Jets, Maura told me that once."

Jane thought about this, but wasn't sure if Maura told her Mother about what happened, but she figured she was just wasting time, she would cross that bridge when it came. So Jane pulled out her cell and called Constance.

After 3 rings Constance picked up, "Jane, is something wrong?" Constance immediately said.

"Hi Constance, Maura's not hurt or anything, but there was a misunderstanding and Maura left, she quit her Job and is now in Dublin, Ireland. My Ma and I need to get there as soon as possible and I wondered if we would be able to hitch a ride on an Isles Foundation Jet?' Jane pleaded.

There was a pause and Constance said, "Jane what kind of misunderstanding? It's not like Maura to run from things. What has happened?"

'It is a really long story, but to sum it up, someone got access to Maura's phone and computer, they then sent some really awful emails to her and to us as well. Maura thought we stopped wanting her around basically and we thought the same thing of her. Then we found proof of what really happened. Now Maura is out there feeling more alone than when I first met her, we here are all beating ourselves up for not catching this sooner, so my Ma and I want to go there, apologize and bring her home. Can you help us?"Jane asked.

Constance replied right away, "Yes, Jane, I know you and your family would never intentionally hurt Maura., and that you took her into your family, so I trust you's. I will call our Pilot John and have him meet you at Norwood Airport, its just south of Boston. He will need to file a flight plan and get the plane gassed and ready to go, I will text you with a time as soon as I confirm with him. I would go with, but I am still not cleared for long flights for fear of blood clots, so please tell Maura that I love her very much and that if she needs me to call."

Jane smiled as she answered, "I don't know how to thank you, we will give her your message, thank you so much."

"It's quite all right dear, just take good care of her, I will text you in a few." Constance said before disconnecting.

Jane turned to her Ma, and gave her a big hug, Korsak stood back and watched, this was not how Jane normally acted, she was not a hugger. Something else was happening all together, he wondered if Janie finally figured out that her and Maura belonged together, he could only hope so, 'cause the guys she picked were such losers.


	7. Chapter 7: Getting There

A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews, they mean so much. I really love writing this story. Now the fun begins!

Chapter 7: Getting There

Jane and her Mother went back to their apartments to pack and obtain their passports. When Jane's Ma looked at her passport she noticed that it was set to expire in 7 days. She began to panic and called out to Jane, "Oh Janie, what if we need more than 7 days, what will I do then?" Jane thought about this, it was 9:30pm already and the pilot would be ready and waiting for them by 11:00pm.

"Let me call Constance again and see if she can have her lawyer file an extension in the morning, if they can, we will have then overnight the necessary papers to our hotel. I still can't believe Constance even set us up with a suite at the Merrion, God how can we ever pay her back?" Jane had said.

"Honey, don't worry about that right now, go ahead and call her while I take our bags down." Angela replied.

Jane had called Constance and she said she would call her attorney right away and that if she had to, she would get the Governor involved, because he really had been sad to lose Maura as the Chief M.E., so she knew if it involved bringing her back, then he would do anything to help. Jane smiled to herself, so many people willing to help bring Maura back. When they got to the airport, Tommy and Frankie were there to see them off. They both approached Jane and each handed her a letter, they also gave her a gift bag and she asked, "What's this?"

Frankie was the one to respond, "Since we cannot be there to talk to her, we thought we would each tell her how we felt, and how we want our sister to come home. We also got her a little something, well actually we had it, but when everything happened, we didn't give it to her, so now seems like the right time."

Jane peeked in the bag, and then pulled out a Red Sox Jersey, with the name Maura Rizzoli on the back. Jane was at a loss for words, and reached out and hugged her brothers. Then she and her Ma said their goodbyes and boarded the plane.

The pilot secured the luggage and joined them on the plane, he approached Jane and handed her an envelope, saying that it was from Mrs. Isles. He told them where refreshments were and that they would be taking off by 11:30pm, their arrival would bring them into Dublin at 10:30am. So Jane and Angela took a seat and awaited take off. Once in the air, Jane got up and found a small bottle of wine for her Ma and a beer for herself. When she say back down she opened the envelope from Constance, it contained a small envelope addressed to Maura, a check made out to Jane for $10,000, with a note saying:

Jane, I am so happy that you and your family care so much for Maura, you give her something that I was never able to do, but am trying to get better at. I am giving this money to you and your Mother as a gift, I am not sure how long you will be staying, I know my daughter can be stubborn, so in case it takes longer than a few days, or if you all just want to relax and enjoy a holiday together, I am hoping these funds can help you to do so. I have spoken with the pilot and he will remain in Dublin as well, when you need his services, he will be available to you until your return to Boston. I have also arranged a rental car for you, they will have everything you need at the reception desk. I wish you the best of luck, with Love, Constance.

Jane just sat there staring at the letter. She didn't want to take the money, but she also knew on her cops salary she wouldn't be able to afford many days there, but now if this took longer than she had hoped, then she could relax knowing she had time. She wouldn't feel the need to rush Maura, they could take there time getting to where they needed. She looked over at her Ma who was fast asleep, then Jane closed her eyes and allowed herself to fall into a deep slumber.

Maura woke at 6:30am and put on a pair of yoga pants and a Boston PD T-shirt, that she had not given back to Jane, and head out for a run. She found herself running along the River Liffey and ended up at Phoenix Park. She jogged through the park taking in the many deer, the statues and the site if The Presidents Home. Then she just walked around for a bit enjoying the different gardens, her favorite was the Mediterranean garden, well until she went through the Farmleigh House. There was so much history that she found herself smiling and really enjoying herself, she was happy. She had not felt this in quite some time. For the first time, Maura truly believed that she would be alright. Her stomach was telling her it was time to get something to eat, so she headed out of the park and over to Juno's Cafe, where she ordered a Scone and some Porridge with berries. She thought to herself how if Jane had been with her she would of loved the Full Irish Breakfast, then she remembered, that life didn't exist anymore. Maura began to wonder if she would ever be able to rid her mind of them, her heart ached to go back to the way things were. Why did Casey come back? Why did Jane let him in? And most important, Why didn't she ever have the guts to tell Jane how she felt? She knew the answer to that one, she didn't want to lose her, it was too big a risk; but look where it got her, alone anyways. She knew she would never give her heart to anyone else, because she knew that Jane already had taken it, but instead of protecting it, she destroyed it. Maura knew she had to shake the depression that was beginning to take over again off, so she paid her bill and jogged back to her hotel, she needed a shower.

Maura reached the hotel at 9am, she showered and dressed in a casual outfit. By 10am she was down in the lobby and heading out for her day of Museums, she was looking forward to The National Museum of Ireland Archeology, and also their National Natural History Museum, as well as Their National Gallery and Library. They were all within walking distance, but she would start with the Archeology Museum first, it was the one love she shared with her father, and maybe she would email him about it when she got back tonight. They had not spoken since her Mother's accident, and even then it wasn't many words. She knew she was a disappointment to him, they had grown distant more and more each year, ever since she had chosen to become a medical examiner, maybe now she could find a connection back to him.

Jane and Angela's plane landed at 10:38am, Their Pilot Thomas, had unloaded their luggage and helped them through the concourse. Jane headed over to the Transportation Desk and hired a Taxi to take them to their hotel. Once the luggage was loaded into the trunk it was 11:15am, the trip to the hotel would take 20-30 minutes their driver said, so they sat back and enjoyed the view. They got hung up in some traffic, but finally were standing at the check in desk at noon. Once everything was in order the bellman took them up.

When the bellman opened the door, Angela and Jane were shocked, they had never seen such a beautiful room, and this was just the entry and sitting area, the bedrooms were off on both sides of the room behind double doors. They were shown the Balcony as well, which overlooked a beautiful garden. Once the bellman was done showing them around, Jane saw him to the door, as she was going to tip him, he said "That won't be necessary, Mrs. Isles has seen to my tip for the extent of your stay, My name is Liam, feel free to call upon me for whatever you shall need, I am here to make sure you have a wonderful stay."

Jane smiled, once again Constance saw to everything, she said, "thank you Liam, I would like to ask one question, Do you know what room Maura Isles is staying in? And if she is here at the hotel right now?"

"Miss Isles room is located on the 4th floor, room 422. I saw her go out around 10 am this morning, she mentioned to her Valet that she would be spending the day at area Museums, but will be returning this evening for dinner. I can see which of our restaurants she has reservations for and can arrange for you to be seated at her table if you would like."

Jane thought this over before replying, "If you could just inform me of the restaurant, that will be enough, we would like to surprise her of our visit. Thank you again for everything."

"I will leave a message for you at the front desk with the name and time, again call down for me if you need anything. Enjoy your stay," Liam said as he left.

Jane and Angela decided that they would freshen up and change, then head out to find some luch, both were extremely hungry, and the thought of stretching their legs was a wonderful one. When they were ready they headed downstairs to reception to ask where a good Italian restaurant was. They were told to walk a few blocks north and they would be at Il Vicoletto. So they headed out for a breath of fresh air and some good food. They walked in silence the whole way, when they arrived at the restaurant around 1:30pm, they each placed their order and enjoyed a nice bottle of wine.

Jane was the first to speak since they left the hotel, "Well we are here, and I am more nervous than I thought I would be, How do you think we should go about approaching her?"

Angela took a sip of her wine and looked at her daughter for a moment before saying," Once you have some food in your stomach you feel better, so go easy on the wine. I have been thinking about the How since we left, and I was wondering if I should approach her first on my own. I am afraid if she sees you, she may not take it well. Then I thought maybe that would upset her more thinking you were afraid to approach her. So I guess right now I think the best thing to do would be to wait until she is back at the hotel and call on her in her room. The worst she could do is slam the door in our face."

"Yeah, that would be bad", Jane said after gulping her wine, but then continued, "I wish I knew what Constance wrote in that letter, we could have left it for her in her room box at the front desk, or wait a minute", Jane said excitedly, "what if we or I wrote her a letter and left it for her, then that way it would lessen the shock at seeing us here?"

Angela was thinking about all Jane said as she looked out over the restaurant and waited for their food to arrive.

Maura had just finished exploring the Archeology Museum, and decided it was time for lunch. She had a taste for some Branzino and some Tiramisu for desert. When she was last here she had dined at the a wonderful restaurant not too far from where she was, so she waved down a taxi and told him her desired destination.

The waiter was bringing over Angela and Jane's order of homemade Ravioli, when they heard a loud gasp, followed by a waiters tray crashing to the ground, when they looked to see where the commotion was coming from, they caught a glimpse of Maura running from the restaurant. Angela looked to Jane and said, "So much for lessening the shock,"

Jane didn't respond, she was already half way to the door chasing after Maura.


	8. Chapter 8:My Mind is Playing Tricks

Chapter 8: My Mind is Playing Tricks

**Maura's POV**

Maura walked into Il Vicoletto and the aromas brought her back to her home in Boston, and she could see Angela standing at her stove with a huge smile on her face as she cooked her homemade lasagna for Sunday family dinner. She was brought out of her quick daydream when the Maitre'd, began walking her to her table. As she was walking she looked to the back and saw a woman that looked like Jane, they looked so much alike that she thought they could be twins, she started to panic, she felt her like she was going to pass out, why couldn't she go anywhere without thinking of them? Was she losing her mind? There was no way Jane could be here in Dublin, then she saw the woman sitting with her, she looked like Angela, now Maura knew for sure, she was losing her mind, she quickly spun around, causing a waiter to drop his tray, but she couldn't stay there and apologize, she had to get out of there. Why couldn't she get them out of her mind? She began crying as she ran down the street, then she thought she heard Jane's voice calling out to her, and she thought, Oh My God I am really losing it, now I hear her voice. She had to get away, she just had to, so without looking, she ran across the street to get away, she didn't see the bus that was within feet of her until she heard the horn, she stopped in the street and turned. Maura stood there in shock, she couldn't move, she saw this bus coming at her, but yet she could not move, she was paralyzed. Then everything just went black.

**Jane's POV**

I am chasing after her, calling her name, but its like she doesn't hear me. The next thing I know she is heading for the street, a bus is wailing on its horn, and she is frozen there, staring down this metal beast. I rush across the road and tackle her to the tree lawn, she has passed out, I feel around her head to make sure that she didn't hit it when we fell. People are all rushing over now, and I quickly tell them that its okay. I see doubt in their eyes and I am about to say something, when I here my Ma rushing over and pushing people out of the way. She is now down on her knees checking on Maura, as I hold her in my arms. I realize that she has some scrapes on her hands and face, and that her pants are torn. She is still out cold. My Ma hails down a cab, as I pick her up and carry her to it. We decide to take her back to the hotel, they should have a Doctor on call.

Upon arrival to the hotel, the staff rush over when they see me carrying Maura in. My Ma starts to explain that she fell, and that if they could have a Doctor sent up to her room. Liam is there now and assures us that they will call the doctor, he helps us into the elevator and hits the 4th floor button. When we get to her room I take her into the bedroom and lie her down on the bed. My Ma has gotten a wash cloth and places it on her forehead, just as she is about to clean her wounds, the Doctor arrives. She introduces herself as Dr. Megan McCulley, and tells us to wait outside in the living area while she checks on her injuries.

Maura began to stir, she was having a hard time focusing as she began to sit up. Then she felt strong hands on her shoulders, preventing her from moving. Maura began to blink and her vision was becoming clearer, but her head was pounding. She heard the woman's voice say, "Please lie back and take it easy, you had quite a fall and you need to rest. I am Dr. Megan, Can you tell me your name?"

Maura sat there staring at the woman for minute before responding, "I am Maura Isles, how did I get here? The last thing I remember is not being able to move when a bus was coming at me.?

The doctor replied, "I am not sure on the specifics, but you have some friends out there who can probably answer your questions, but for now you need to rest. I will leave instructions with the two women outside, now take these pain relievers and try to rest. I will send them in, in a few minutes."

Maura kept staring at the Doctor and then began to shake her head and asked,"What do those women look like?"

Dr. Megan contemplated this question, she thought it odd, but answered, "A young tall dark haired Italian woman and a slightly shorter older woman with your hair color. If I had to guess, the woman could be your mother, however you do not appear to be Italian, but Irish like myself."

Maura began to shake her head back and forth, her body now shaking a little as she was rambling," No.. no... no... this cannot be, why is this happening to me, am I dreaming, yes this has to be a dream, I cannot get them out of my head,"

Maura began hitting her head with the palms of her hands, she was becoming more and more hysterical, and the Doctor was taken aback at the sudden change in her patient. She went to reach for a tranquilizer as she heard her patient ramble on more, Maura was saying as she continued to hit herself, "Please get out of my head, you don't belong in there anymore, you can't be real, you are in Boston, you wouldn't come for me, you love him not me, you took your family away from me, I have no one, I am alone, please get out of my head."

That was the last thing to be said before she was out from the shot the doctor gave her. Dr. Megan left the room and entered the living area, Angela and Jane began to stand, but she asked them to remain seated. She sat there and observed the two women at first, then she asked, "What is your relationship with Maura Isles?"

Jane and Angela looked to each other and then Jane spoke, "I am Jane Rizzoli and this is my Ma, Angela Rizzoli. Maura is like a daughter to my Ma and well she is my best friend. Can you please tell us how she is?"

The doctor answered, "She had some minor cuts and abrasions on her hands and forehead, I have cleaned and treated them, she woke from her unconscious state in a bit of a fog. She does not appear to have a concussion, nor do I think her actions are related to any form of amnesia. She knew who she was, but she became agitated at first and then well a but hysterical when I informed her as to your presence out here. I had to give her a sedative. She will be out for a few hours. So if you could explain to me again as to how you know my patient, and why she would be saying things like, _"Please get them_ _out of my head _and _they can't be real_, it would be of great help to me to understand why she has responded this way."

Jane took a deep breath and asked the Dr to have a seat and then went on to give a shortened version of how they all came to be in Ireland. When she was finished the doctor sat there for a moment taking the story in, she began to realize and then explain to the women, she said "I believe that Maura had a major depressive episode, which Doctors refer to as psychotic depression. I think the first episode took place back at the restaurant when she allowed her brain to believe that she wasn't seeing who was in front of her, so since she thought her mind was acting against her, she tried to retreat from the image. Then when she woke up and I mentioned you, and then later described what you looked like, it sent her into another episode."

Jane asked," Do you mean she has had a psychotic break? What can we do to help her?"

Dr. Megan replied, "No, it is not a psychotic break, it is however a reaction to severe depression, I am guessing her depression developed awhile ago, probably back many months, maybe even as long as a year ago. A person will act and function normally, both socially and professionally. So the symptoms could go unnoticed, until the psychotic episode occurs. Has she had other stress occur in her life besides this current situation?"

Jane thought how to best answer, without giving away too much, then said, "a little over a year ago Maura's adoptive mother was in an accident, it was a hit and run meant for Maura, so she blamed herself. She also met her biological mother for the first time and that meeting did not go the way she had always dreamt that it would. A few months later her life was put in danger when a man she was dating turned out to be a serial killer and we got to her just in the nick of time. So yeah her life has been one big stress case, not to mention she is the Chief Medical Examiner and she deals with horrors everyday. So again I ask, how can we help her?"

"First of all I am not a psychiatrist, I only know what I do from my medical classes. It may not be as severe as Psychotic Depression, it may just be severe depression, none of which is to be taken lightly. She really should see someone, but I cannot force her. I can prescribe some antidepressants, I think it would be best to have someone that she knows, other than yourselves, approach her when she wakes up, someone that you feel would not cause her to have another episode. It would be best that she become aware of your real presence slowly and for her to ask to see you, and for you not to force the meeting. So do you know of anyone we can get here to help her with this?"asked Dr. Megan.

Jane looked to her Ma, and said to her, "Ma, First I think we need to call Constance and let her know what is going on, then see if her letter would be of any help. Since she cannot make it here, maybe her father can. If he cannot, then maybe Constance would have an idea of who we could use as a mediator for the time being." Jane then turned to the Doctor and asked, "How long until she awakes?"

"She should be out for at least 4 hours, so I will leave you both for now, and I will return in about 3 hours to check on her." Said Dr. Megan.

Jane and Angela both stood up, and Angela gave the doctor a hug and thanked her for her help and understanding. They said their goodbyes and Jane went to get her cell, this was going to be a hard call to make.


	9. Chapter 9: Reaching Out

Chapter 9: Reaching Out

Jane called Constance and told her about what happened with Maura and what the Doctor had to say. She also asked her if there was anyway she or Mr. Isles could come there. When Constance reiterated that her doctor would still not allow long distance flights, and that William Isles was in Tanzania again, where communication was limited, Jane became a bit agitated. She knew Constance was not to blame, but she just didn't know what to do; so she asked if the letter that she wrote to Maura contained anything that might help her to understand that She and Angela were really there for her in Dublin. Constance didn't answer right away, but when she did she had come up with a way for her to be there, and Jane was kicking herself for not thinking of it herself. Once Maura awoke they would have Liam, Jane and Angela's personal valet for their stay, bring a laptop to Maura. Constance would then place a video call to her daughter. They chose Liam, because she knew him personally, he always attended to Mr and Mrs. Isles when they stayed in Dublin. He would be the familiar mediator on this end. Constance informed Liam that when their call ended, he was to give her the letter she had written for Maura. Jane was feeling a bit more at ease, now it was a matter of waiting for her to awaken.

At 5:30 pm Dr. Megan returned to Maura's suite. In the room Angela and Jane had just finished having a light dinner that Liam had brought up to them. Megan Inquired about what they had decided to do.

Jane let her know that Maura's mother would talk to her via video chat and that they would go from there. Dr. Megan said after she checked on Maura she would stick around the hotel for a few more hours in case they needed her, but by 9 pm she would be heading home for the night. She handed Jane her card and told her to call if they needed her after that. Dr. Megan then entered Maura's bedroom to see if she was coming around.

A little after 6 pm, Maura began to stir. She felt better since the last time she opened her eyes, her head was not throbbing and her vision seemed to be clear. As she slowly started to sit up she noticed the female doctor from earlier sitting in the chair by her bed, and said, "Please forgive me, but I seem to have forgotten your name."

The doctor replied, "My name is Dr. Megan McCulley, How are you feeling Ms. Isles?"

"I am feeling much more like myself than earlier, I do apologize for my outbreak, it has been a stressful day, and I think my blood sugar must be a bit low, I haven't eaten much today. But, thank you for seeing to my injuries." Maura said, feeling like she had to give some sort of explanation for her earlier actions, she did not want this Dr. thinking she was a loon.

Dr. Megan took in what Maura was saying, and she agreed that she was probably in need of some food, and that she would feel better with a good meal. She still looked tired too, so she asked Maura what she had a taste for and said that she would see that her Valet bring it up. Once Maura gave her an order, she excused herself for a minute to call it down. When she returned she told Maura that she would like to prescribe her an antidepressant, that she felt her episodes were caused by depression.

Maura sat there for a few minutes before agreeing with the doctors diagnosis, she said that she had realized she was falling into a deep depression a few months ago, but kept thinking things would get better on their own, so she never sought out help. She told the doctor that she had plans to head on to Leeds in 2 days, but that she might move it up and leave tomorrow, that she had a family doctor there.

Dr. Maura said that she would advise her to eat and rest for now, and that when and only when she felt strong enough, then she should go.

Maura was too tired to argue, so she agreed. She told the doctor to let the valet know that she would be taking a quick shower and to leave her food on the table by her bed. Dr. Megan left her a few samples of Tofranil, enough to last her until she was able to see her doctor, then she she wished her well and left.

When Maura returned from the bathroom she saw Liam sitting in the chair by her bed, she smiled at him and went over to give him a big hug. She let him go after a minute and said, "Liam it is so good to see you, I wasn't sure if you were still here or not. I had hoped you had been my valet, but when they gave me Tom, I thought maybe you had retired. I will have to tell mother that I saw you."

Liam smiled as he pulled Maura in for another hug, he said,"I am so glad to see you as well, I heard about your little accident earlier today, and I wanted to make sure you were alright, your mother and I have been in touch, in fact she is waiting for you on a video chat, your laptop is over on the coffee table. I placed your dinner and water there as well."

Maura was a little surprised to hear that her mother was contacting her, but thanked Liam and asked him if would mind waiting in the living room while she talked with her mother. She told him that she would still like to talk to him if he had the time. Liam promised that he would wait, and that he was free for the evening. When he returned to the living area, he told Angela and Jane that it might be best if they waited in the alcove at the end of the hall until he came and got them, he was concerned that Maura may come out and see them. Jane gave him her cell, and said just to text her.

Maura went over to the couch in her room and sat down, she pressed the talk button on the video chat, it said her party would be with he in 7 minutes, so Maura took the time to eat her Turkey sandwich and drink her water. Once the chime came for her call to begin, she was feeling so much better.

Now she could face her mother.


	10. Chapter 10:Mother and Daughter Talk

Chapter 10: Mother and Daughter Talk

"Maura darling, how are you feeling? I was very concerned when I heard about your accident. I am so sorry that I cannot fly out to be with you."Constance said.

"I understand Mother, and I wish Liam had not felt the need to bother you." Maura said

"Nonsense Maura, I have told you before and I will say it again, you are my daughter, and I know in the past I was not very available to you, but I had hoped we were working past that. I want you to be apart of my life and with that comes the need to know what is going on with you. Liam mentioned that the Doctor had to give you sedative, that something upset you to the point that you were physically hitting yourself. I love you Maura, so please talk to me, tell me what is happening," Constance pleaded.

"Mother, I don't know where to begin. I can tell you that it has been a long day, I started out with a run to Phoenix Park, and then back here for a quick shower, then I was off again for a day of museums, it was around 1 pm when I realized that I hadn't had much to eat, so I headed over to Il Vicoleto for some lunch, that is when my mind played tricks on me and I thought I saw Angela and Jane, but I knew they couldn't be there so that's when my brain became scattered and I panicked, so I made a hasty retreat, causing a scene and then had my accident. But I can assure you that after resting, taking a shower and finally getting something to eat, I am feeling so much better. I just tried to do too much and didn't pay attention to my blood sugar. I will get a goodnight rest, have a big breakfast and relax in the spa tomorrow. Then I am scheduled to leave for Leeds the following day, while I am there I will go see Dr. Williams for an over due check-up. I am just in need of some rest, that is all." Maura stated.

Constance couldn't help but smile at her daughter, she always could place things into perspective for others, even if she wasn't being completely truthful. So Constance decided to try and call her on some missing details and asked, "Maura, why would seeing Angela or Jane upset you?"

Maura started to bite her bottom lip, and finally decided it would be best that she told her mother of the fallout. So Maura went on to explain what had transpired over the past few months. When she finished she was surprised that Constance didn't seem shocked by any of this, and asked her just that, "Mother, why does it seem like you are already aware of this, I mean, I would think that this would be somewhat of a shock to you, there behavior towards me."

Constance knew she couldn't lie to her daughter, but had been thinking how she would cross this bridge with Maura when it came. So she decided to try playing devils advocate with her and hoped that would downplay her concerns.

"Maura, I am just at a loss for words. I mean are you sure Jane felt the same way?, You said yourself that this Casey is the one who confronted you, the one who verbally told you that you were not family and not welcome. Did Jane or Angela ever say to you personally that they felt this way? What if Casey sent you those texts and emails, he would have had access to her cell and computer? What if they felt that you were the one pulling away, and that you didn't want to be around them? Who is to say that Casey wouldn't have said things to them about you? What if he told them you spoke to him and said things to him?"Constance asked.

"Mother, I do not like What ifs and you know it. But, no they never said anything to me directly. In fact I cannot remember the last time Jane and I really talked. Was I wrong to leave mother? I mean I just gave up my job mother, one that I loved. I just became scared of being alone, how did that happen, I was always independent, you know that mother."said Maura.

Constance replied, "Maura, I think that this is all a big misunderstanding, not by Casey's actions, no I believe he succeeded with what he set out to do. However I think you were wrong to not confront Angela directly as to why she felt the need to move out. Angela told me how much she loved living with you, how she could finally have someone to do girly things with, even though you are my daughter, she took you in as hers as well. I also do not understand why you would not confront Jane about why her boyfriend was being such a jerk to you, or at least why she had no time for her friend anymore. I wouldn't think you wouldn't be afraid of a little confrontation. I know you both have had your share of fights over the years. There has to be a reason why you chose not to fight for them.

I also know that they are not without fault. They too should have sought out what was going on. Why didn't they come to you and question why you were not coming to Sunday dinner? It wouldn't be like you to just stop. Maybe you need to face them and get this out in the open, you think they do not care, but what if they think the same of you? It would be a shame for this to end this way. I know you left them with letters, but how can you expect answers to your questions by leaving?"

"Oh Mother, I seem to make a mess of everything. This is all my fault, if I had just been able to better understand how friends were supposed to act, the rules behind friendship, then maybe I could have made more friends, and not have been so dependent on just the one I had. If I could have been less weird around others, not be so quick to open my mouth. Then I would have been able to survive in Boston without needing Jane around so much. I did the worst thing a friend could possibly do mother,'" Maura said as she was now softly crying.

"Maura Dear, What is it you think you did that was wrong?" Constance said with concern in her voice.

"I fell in love with her mother. That is why I had to leave, that is why I couldn't confront her, I knew she would hate me, It was better that I left,... but it hurts so much,...and knowing that I had lost them even without telling her, I begin to question if I even meant anything to her at all. I am sure you are ashamed of me right now, you have a daughter who fell in love with another woman. Don't worry though, I will never love again, nor do I believe I have the capability of being loved."Maura said.

"Oh how wrong you are Maura", Constance had raised her voice for the first time, she was not happy at what she was hearing. "I don't care if you love a woman, as long as you are happy. And as for being loved, your father and I both love you, you have so much to offer, especially your beautiful heart. Now answer this question for me, Did you ever think that Jane was in love with you?"

Maura was taken aback at her mothers voice, then replied, "I don't know, ….I don't guess,... I mean ….I might have noticed certain actions that may have been evidence of such a feeling, …. but I never wanted to cross that line... I didn't want to take that risk... and lose her. But I guess with her being with Casey, that it proves that she is not and that she never will be, so it no longer matters."

Constance noticed that Maura was trying to hide her yawns and it was getting late in the evening, so Constance said, "Maura honey, I know its been a long, tiring day for you and this talk has been emotionally exhausting as well. So I want you to get a good nights sleep, and we will talk in the morning, well afternoon for you, what if we plan to talk at 12:30pm your time, we can share a meal via video chat. How does that sound?"

"I would like that a lot mother, and I agree I do need to get some sleep. I still need to see Liam out, he has been waiting for me in the other room. So I guess I will say goodnight then Mother, I love you and thank you for your concern and understanding." Maura said.

"I love you too Maura, remember that always. Remember that I am always here for you, I would never do anything that would intentionally hurt you. Now go say goodnight to Liam and then get a good night's rest.

Maura got up and walked out into the living area where Liam was sat on the sofa, he turned to her and said, "You look tired Miss Isles, how about we postpone our talk until tomorrow. Call me when you would like breakfast and I will join you, how does that sound?"

"That sounds nice Liam, I really do appreciate what you have done, and thank you for calling Mother, I really needed that. So until tomorrow, good night." Maura said.

As Maura walked Liam to the door, he pulled out an envelope and handed it to her as he said, "Maura, Constance had this delivered for you, she wanted me to give it to you after you talked, but she just texted me and asked that I make you promise not to open it until the morning. She feels that you both have said enough for you think back on, without adding more words for now. So will you promise to wait?"

Maura looked at Liam and smiled as she said, "With as tired as I am, I can assure you my curiostiy can wait until the morning. Thank you and good night Liam."

The letter sat on her nightstand until the morning.


	11. Chapter 11:The Letter & Reality

Chapter 11: The Letter and Reality

Maura awoke at 6:30am, her internal clock following its usual pattern. She laid in bed for a few minutes, allowing her body to catch up with her brain. When she finally decided to get up, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat up. This is when she noticed the letter from her mother awaiting her. She picked it up and was ready to open it, when she decided she needed some tea first, so she got up and made use of the hotel rooms Keurig machine. Once she had had her cup she sat down outside on her balcony overlooking the garden, it was such a beautiful morning. After taking a sip of tea, she set her cup down and opened the letter. She then began to read;

_My Dearest Maura,_

_I want to remind you of what a wonderful and caring women that you are. You have always been that way since the moment you were able to speak. I cannot take credit for what has always come from your heart; your selflessness, courage, understanding, thoughtfulness, love, your generous view of strangers, the idealistic vision you have of the world and so many other things that make you who are you are. The two greatest part though is your love and your ability to forgive. I know you must think that I am referring to our relationship, or the lack of one for all of these years, but not today. Even though it is true that you are more forgiving of your father and I, than you should be. I am writing to you today to talk about the hurt you are going through as I am writing this. You may wonder how I know, but you are a genius remember, it doesn't take one to see that those you feel are hurting you, very much LOVE YOU. Now, don't go shaking your head. Do not try to deny what is in that heart of yours._

_I am not going to go into the What's and Why's of what happened, but I am going to take a walk with you, through your heart. Then we will meet up with that Big Brain of yours, and see if we cannot clear up, what in my opinion has become one huge misunderstanding on everyone's parts. Just remember as we take this journey, YOU ARE LOVED, by many._

_I first mentioned **Selflessness**, well you were using this part of your heart when you chose to put aside your own happiness, for the happiness of the one you love, and the family that has become your own._

_With this selflessness though, came a downfall for you, and that is self deprecation. You are so quick to think so little of yourself, when your heart thinks so much of others. If you had just allowed yourself to realize how much others can and do love you, then maybe you would have fought for understanding from them. I have only myself to blame, I failed as your mother to show you that you are worth loving._

_Next I mentioned **Courage**, in this situation you used your bravery to allow you to run, thinking you were doing what was right for others. Instead you should have used it to face your fears, even if it were to have caused you pain, at least you could have learned the truth. Lets move on with our journey, your **Thoughtfulness**, you are always so considerate of others, you put them first. That is very noble of you, but when do you put yourself first, when do you allow others to be thoughtful to you? I am sure if you think about it, you can answer this question. Who has always been there for you in the past 5 years? Well unfortunately it was not your parents, but I do know that Jane and her family look out for you, and even though she may have been a bit lax these past few months, they do deserve a bit of credit for showing you that you are worth it. Lets move onto a big one, **LOVE**. You have so much love in your heart. You gave of yourself when you were doing work with doctors without borders, you work with charities, not just with a check, but you get physically involved. Then there is the true Love of your heart, you love someone so much, that you would rather run from them, than to stay and possibly hurt them. Did you ever pay attention to her? I was only around her a few times, and let me tell you, I know what Love looks like, and she loves you. I could go and take back courage, because you both in my opinion were cowards with your love. I am going to end our journey at your generous view of others, the need to see the good, and not suspect the bad in others. You allowed this to cloud your judgment, your view of Casey, he played you, he played Jane, he played all of the Rizzoli's. Now that we had the Journey, lets go talk to the brain. Do you believe that you can be loved? Do you have the courage to fight for what you want? Do you Love Jane and your family? Will you continue to be selfless with your own heart, or will you let self deprecation win? But the Big question brain, is Can you find forgiveness in your heart and allow them the time to explain what really happened?_

_Maura, I do know my daughter, and I know you are probably shocked by what you are reading, but know that I love you, and I would not have arranged for Jane and Angela to be there with you in Dublin, if I did not truly believe that they Love you, that they are hurting as much as or almost close to how you are. Give them a chance to explain, they flew across the world for you, that should count for something. Who knows, by the time you are reading this, all may be forgotten. But know one last thing, I truly believe that you and Jane belong together. You and she look at each other the way your father and I have, and still do look at each other; and you know I have always called him my soul mate._

_With all my Love, _

_Mother_

Maura had tears running down her cheeks, she was realizing that yesterday she hadn't lost her mind. She realized that if she had just stopped when she first heard her name, that she would have known it was real. The doctor must have thought she had a breakdown, she probably decided that it was best to not push her further, and probably sent them away. Her mind started to run all different thoughts: What must they think of me? What will I say to them? Why did they come here? I need to calm myself, I am just a bundle of nerves. Why didn't mother just tell me last night? Normally if I am at a loss, I would go to Jane, Oh Jane, I really do need you. Are you really here to reconcile though, or is it a ploy to break my heart some more? Angela wouldn't be here for that, would she? Why do I allow such thoughts? Where are they? Are they in this hotel? I feel so light headed, I need to lie down, that's what I need, then maybe a shower. Wait, Liam will be here for breakfast soon, I'll have to call him and let him know I am not up for it. He knows, he must know. He would know where Jane and Angela are. Am I ready for that, I need to calm down, I am going to hyperventilate. Maura finally got some control of her mind, she closed her eyes and began to follow her complete breath techniques from yoga, it allowed her to prevent a panic attack, she was flushing all parts of the body and brain with fresh blood, oxygen, and other nutrients, and increasing feelings of well-being. After 20 minutes of this, she found herself centered again. She was able to coherently call into room service for some breakfast, she asked for someone other than Liam to bring it to her, it would be 20 minutes they said. So she went to take a shower and get ready for a day that she was sure to be exhausting.


	12. Chapter 12: Maura Listens

A/N: Thank you Thank you Thank you, all of the reviews make me so happy. This is a really long one, so sit back and enjoy.

Chapter 12: Maura Listens

Maura had just finished getting herself ready, when she heard a knock on the door. She checked the eye hole before opening, she wanted to ensure she had no surprises. She took a deep calming breath when she saw not only Liam, with her breakfast, but also Dr. Megan. She opened the door, greeted them with a good morning, and invited them in. Liam wheeled the cart into the room and began setting her food on the table out in her balcony. In the mean time Maura felt the need to get rid of the doctor; so she said,"I just want to thank you again for your help yesterday, after a shower, nice dinner and a good nights rest, I am feeling much better. I even enjoyed a nice chat with my mother. Today I plan to utilize the hotels spa and meet with some friends, then turn in early. I have a ferry ride and short drive in the A.M., oh, and before I forget, I wanted to return these samples to you, I find that I won't be needing them." Dr. Megan looked at Maura and said,"You look much better today Miss. Isles, but I would be amiss, if I believed you to be alright. I think you still need antidepressants. Your actions yesterday were not those of a healthy person." Maura was not happy one bit, and said "excuse me doctor, but you happened to witness me at a point where I was not only exhausted, but in need of food and water. I will admit to being under stress as well, all of these things when combined would cause anyone to have a meltdown. I appreciate your concern, however I am capable in deciding what is or isn't good for me. So if you will excuse me, I would like to enjoy my breakfast with a family friend. It was nice meeting you and I wish you well." Dr. Megan knew she was being dismissed, she did not want to overstep her position, so she wished her well, and made to leave. She would keep her eyes and ears open as to Miss Isles behavior for the rest of her stay.

Maura met Liam out on the balcony and sat down. He poured her some coffee, and sat down as well. They began to catch up with small talk, and she undated him on her mothers health. He then asked if she had read her mothers letter yet. Maura smiled at him and replied, "yes Liam I have. I assume you know the whereabouts of Jane and Angela Rizzoli." Liam smiled back and said,"As matter of fact, I do. Would you like for me to call upon them, or would you like to do that yourself?" Maura thought about it for a minute and said," I think I would prefer to speak with them individually at first. Once we are finished here, please ask Angela Rizzoli if she would like to meet me in the outdoor gardens, it is too nice a day to stay indoors." Liam agreed and they finished their coffee.

Liam headed down to the Rizzoli's room at 8am. Angela had answered the door, and let him in, she was very anxious to know how Maura was doing. "So have you see her this morning? Is she doing better? I talked to Constance late last night, and she seemed to think that other than being exhausted, that she seemed to be better. What do you think? Angela had rattled off.

Liam smiled at her and said, "Come sit down Angela, where is Jane this morning?"

Angela sat down and replied, "She will be in shortly, she was getting dressed." Just then Jane walked in and greeted Liam good morning.

Liam motioned for Jane to sit as well, after returning the greeting. He then said,"Miss Maura seems to be doing well this morning, she had a good night. She enjoyed her talk with her Mother and waited until this morning to read the letter from her. I believe she is handling whatever was in it, well. I know she had a visit from Dr. Megan this morning when I arrived with her breakfast. I believe she did not appreciate being checked up on and sent the doctor on her way. She is open to speaking to you both, but would like to do so individually. She has asked for Angela to meet her down in the gardens, just outside the hotel. She wants to enjoy the beautiful weather. She was finishing getting herself together when I left, so I believe that she will down there within a few minute, if not already.

Angela had a hard time containing her excitement, she jumped up and hugged Liam, then ran to her room saying, "I am going to grab my jacket and running shoes and the boys gift for her, then head right down. Thank you Liam for everything. Jane I will take my phone in case she wants me to have you sent down after me."

Jane watched her Ma as she ran around getting ready, she was so excited, but Jane felt a bit hurt that Maura wanted her Ma first. She wondered if Maura was just going to tell her Ma to go home, and that she didn't want to see her. After all that is what they deserved. Jane decided that she would order up some breakfast and coffee and see what was on the tv, just lounge around until she knew what was happening. Angela walked over to her now, and gave her a big hug, and told her not to worry. She then headed to the gardens.

Angela walked through the arbor at the side entrance, she looked around and spotted Maura sitting at an umbrella covered table in the garden terrace. As she approached, she took in the doctors appearance. She seemed nervous as she sat there twirling her spoon in her drink, and she had a far away look. So Angela approached hesitantly, within a few feet she smiled and said, "Good morning Maura". Maura looked up to the voice and as she started to rise from her chair, tears began rolling down her face. Angela responded quickly and brought her into a death grip of a hug. She continued to hold Maura as she said softly into her ear, "It's going to be okay Maura, I am here, Jane is here. We Love you and we need you. Let us love you please. I know you have a lot of questions, we want a chance to tell you what happened. Are you able to give us that chance honey? I know you have been through a lot, and I do not want to overwhelm you, so just tell me what you are willing to do, okay."

Maura was so happy in that moment, she was being held by Angela, the woman who was her other Mother. She could feel the weight of so much anguish falling from her chest. Maura began to pull away so she could gain some composure. She wiped her eyes and smiled at Angela as she said, "I am so happy to see you here, to really see you here. I am so sorry about yesterday, I just couldn't get my brain and heart to believe that you were physically here. I would very much like to talk with you. I had originally thought that it should be out here in the gardens, but I can see that my control of my emotions is not something that should be shared out here in public. Would you mind coming back to my room? We can order up some pastries and tea if you would like, or would you rather have coffee, or we could just get both." Maura had begun to ramble, something she often did when she was nervous, so Angela linked her arm through Maura's, and said, "relax Maura, it is just me. I do not care what we have, as long as I am with you. I have missed my other daughter, my girly one. She gave Maura a kiss on the cheek and they walked to the elevator just holding on to one another.

When they arrived to the room Maura told Angela to have a seat on the couch and ordered a tray of assorted pastries to be brought up. She asked Angela what she would like to drink and used the Keurig to get herself and Angela some herbal tea. There was a knock at the door and Angela went to answer it, Liam wheeled in the cart and excused himself. Maura and Angela each grabbed something and sat together on the couch. Maura stopped to think of the last time they had enjoyed themselves like this, with small talk. This time however was nothing small. After taking a small bite and washing it down, Maura turned to Angela and said, "I think the best thing to do, would be for you to tell me your story. From why you moved out, to why you felt the need to be distant with me. After speaking with my Mother and reading a letter she gave to me, I have an idea of what may have happened; but I'd like to here the whole story from you. Then if you would like, I can try to explain my actions to you. I've really missed you and I am still a bit in shock that you are here sitting with me, but I want to assure you that I am happy that you are here" Maura then reached out her hand to cover Angela's and give it a good squeeze.

Angela took a deep breath, and began to talk, as she continued to have her hand held by Maura. Angela then explained everything that happened, the texts and emails she thought were from Maura, how Casey convinced her and the rest of the family that it was best that they didn't go to Maura, that it would seem like they were begging her to keep taking care of them, that it would look like they had not been thankful for what she had done for them. Angela explained that yes she was blinded by the fact that she thought Jane was happy. She thought that maybe your friendship could use some distancing. However, when the distance became a complete absence, the family began to believe that Maura had given up on them. Then when we read your letters to us, we couldn't believe how stupid we had been, how hurtful we were to you. Janie took it really bad Maura, she never meant to do this to you. None of us did. You are apart of our Family and we let you down. There are other things that you need to hear, but they need to come from Jane. Frankie and Tommy wanted to come too, but with the rush to get here, they were not able to take the time off. However, they both asked for me to give this to you."

Maura took the gift bag and pulled out the 2 letters and the Jersey inside. It was for the Red Sox and on the back it said Maura "Rizzoli" in fat white letters. Maura was crying and hugging the jersey, Angela wrapped her arms around Maura and just held her. They sat this way for awhile, as Maura's tears subsided. When Maura was able to control herself again, she spoke in a shaky voice at first, but then as she went on it became steadier. She said, "It was hard for me to understand how losing Jane meant losing all of you. I mean I thought I would be okay giving her up so she could be happy, but when I realzied that Jane was a package deal with all of you, that is what really tore me up. I understand now that Casey was the one who orchestrated all of this. That for whatever reason he felt threatened by me, by my friendship with Jane. I just don't understand why he felt the need to ruin my relationship with everyone else. I mean when he came to me and told me that Sunday family dinners would no longer be at my house, and that I was not welcome, I was a bit put off. He told me that it was his time with Jane and asked if I would give them that chance, the chance for happiness. So I did what I thought was best for Jane, I agreed to step back. However, I did not any way think I was agreeing to lose my relationships with the rest of you's. I know you know, that I did not send those texts and emails, so I am going to assume that you and the others did not send them to me either, that it was Casey."

"Yes Maura, it was Casey. You left your phone in your house, and Frost checked it as well as all of our phones and laptops. There was evidence left by Casey, on all of them." Angela said.

"Oh God, Does that mean he can be arrested for tampering? Was He? No Jane wouldn't let that happen. Oh my God, is that why Jane is here, to ask me not to press charges?", Maura rambled on, she was getting herself excited again. Angela tried to get her attention, but was having difficulty so she raised her voice and yelled, "Maura!, calm down. Listen to me. Casey is no longer in the picture. He was given an ultimatum, leave Boston forever or else stay and face prosecution."

Maura was looking at Angela like she had 2 heads, "What do you mean no longer in the picture? Oh My God, Jane must hate me. She loved him, she chased after him for all that time, and now you say he is gone. Why is she here? She needs to go after him. I am not worth her being unhappy. Oh God, I never should have written any of you. This is all my fault. I am so sorry Angela, Jane was going to be married and you would be getting all of those grandchildren. Please you need to leave and go help her find him and make it right." Maura was getting frantic, she was hyperventilating again. How could she have been so stupid. Angela grabbed Maura by the shoulders and shook her lightly and said, "Maura look at me, I need you to focus on what I am going to tell you okay. Can you do that? Here Maura drink some coffee." Angela made sure that Maura drank a little, then guided her back to the couch, where she sat in front of her, holding her hands. Maura looked up at her and waited.

"Maura, Jane was only with Casey because of me. She never loved him. She thought it would make me happy. She thought that I would stop pestering her about getting married and having kids, if she just bit the bullet and did what was expected of her. She thought that if she told me that she was in love with her best friend that I would hate her and no longer be in her life. Do you understand what I am saying?"Angela asked.

Maura sat there, tilting her head from side to side. Then she took a deep breath and let it out. She looked at Angela and said,"I am so sorry Angela."

"Hush Maura, I am not mad at you, I am happy with you. I did not want my Janie to settle, I did not know she was putting on an act, I never wanted her to do what she did. I guess you could say this is my fault, I am the one who never let her know that I was okay with wherever she found Love, that I was okay if she never married a man. It was not my place to keep setting her up with them either. I always thought she knew she could tell me anything, but I failed her in those regards. Its all fixed with us now though, and that is thanks to you. My Janie knows now that I love her no matter what. As long as she is happy and loved, then I am happy. I want the same for you too honey. Do you understand me?"Angela asked.

Maura couldn't believe her ears, was Angela saying that Jane was gay. That she was afraid to come out to her family, that she was so afraid that she was willing to sacrifice her happiness and settle down with a man she did not love. Maura replied, "Oh poor Jane,...wait did you say, in love with her best friend? You mean to tell me that Jane is in love with me? That all of this happened because she was too afraid to tell you, that she couldn't even tell me?" Maura was looked like a fish, she kept opening and closing her mouth without words coming out, then she began shaking her head and started to laugh. It was not a haha laugh, it was a bit maniacal. Then she said, "I don't believe this, this is so fucked up!, look at me, I am swearing."

Angela wasn't quite sure what to say at this moment, she knew she needed to tread lightly, but she also knew she had to keep this going. She did not want Maura to shut down. So she said, "Maura Honey, I really think it is time for you and Janie to talk. I think you feel the same for her, I think you are in love with her too. She didn't tell you, because she didn't think you felt the same, she thought she would lose you, and she said she would rather have you as her best friend for life, than not at all. You had dated all of those men Maura, she thought you were straight." Then Angela thought she might have made a mistake, and asked "You are in love with her, aren't you?"

Maura was still flabbergasted, she turned to Angela and said, "I am bi Angela, I have been with both sexes, I had just not met a woman that appealed to me in Boston, at least one that I felt was available to me. Had I known I was wrong, well then we wouldn't be here, would we be. You might have been on grandchild number 5 by now. Oh, and Yes Angela I am very much in love with your stubborn, pigheaded, daughter."

Angela pulled Maura into another huge hug, and kissed her on the cheek.

It was time for the girls to meet.


	13. Chapter 13:Jane & Maura Sugar & Spice

Chapter 13: Jane and Maura (Like sugar and spice)

Maura went to wash her face and reapply her make up. If she was to see Jane, she needed to look and act like herself. Maura knew that she was far from her normal self, she knew the doctor had been right to think that she needed help. The build up to this point had started some time ago, but she kept pushing everything aside. She kept telling herself that things would get better, but more was just added to the plate. When she did have the chance to bring a concern up, she would talk to Jane. Jane however always seemed to blow her concerns off, tell her that she was over thinking things, make a joke and that was the end of their talk. Maura knew that this talk would probably end the same. Jane would get to the key elements, apologize and then make some sarcastic comment or joke and then act like nothing was wrong, that all was right with the world. Yes Maura wanted Jane back in her life. Yes she wanted to be a family again. However, Maura knew that even though all of this stemmed from Casey's deception. From poor communication and misunderstandings. She knew that once all apologies were given and truths revealed, once Jane and her confessed face to face, kissed and made up. That at the end of the day she would still be lost, she would still have all of these issues in her head and heart that she never came to terms with. Feelings that she never had a chance to explain or understand. She also knew deep down that she could not pursue Jane until she was well again, Jane deserved to have her as a whole person, not this broken one. So with that decided, she then changed into yoga pants and a t-shirt, and headed out to join Angela.  
Angela waited for Maura to return from freshening up, as she did she called Liam to see if he was able to go to lunch in town. She knew Jane and Maura had a lot to talk about, and wanted to be out of the way. Liam said that once he new Miss Maura was set with lunch, then yes he would be delighted to have lunch with her.  
Maura came back in the living area looking much better. Angela felt that something was still off with her, but hoped that once she talked with Jane, she would be herself again. She informed Maura of her afternoon plans. Maura who couldn't help but smile at Angela's little crush, and said she would call Liam, while Angela called Jane.  
Liam was the first to arrive, he rolled the cart containing Maura's order, and then stocked her fridge with the beer she requested. Angela and Liam both left, after they each gave her a hug. Now Maura waited.

When Jane received the call from her Ma, she was beyond herself. She told her that she needed a few minutes to get herself together and then she would be up. Angela could here the excitement and nervousness in her daughters voice. So she told her to relax, that this was Maura, and that they would be fine. So Jane went into her room and put on a pair of running pants, similar to yoga pants, but not as form fitting, and a t-shirt that Maura had bought her. It had a picture of Einstein with the saying, Genius in the Making. She smiled to herself remembering the day Maura had given it to her. Maura had said,"Since you believe me to be a walking Google, and you proclaim to listen to my every word. I felt this was fitting." Jane then picked up a small bag she wanted to give to Maura, it contained both fudge clusters and more of that chocolate with gold flecks. It was her subtle approach at an apology, and ice breaker. Next thing she knew she was headed for the elevator.

While Maura was waiting for Jane, she quickly called her mother, only to be sent to voice mail. So she left a quick message apologizing for missing their prearranged video chat. She explained that she had been with Angela, and that she was expecting Jane at any minute. Then she ended the message with, thank you for the letter, it helped more than you know, I will call you later. Love you Mom.

Jane stood outside Maura's door took a deep breath and knocked. When Maura opened the door and first laid eyes on Jane, she wanted to just run into her arms. However, she knew they needed to talk first, then she could jump in her arms. Jane was having similar feelings, but her plans had more to do with kissing Maura, than hugging her. Maura stepped to the side and waved her in, as she did so Jane handed her the gift bag. (Neither had yet to speak to the other.) Maura led Jane to the balcony where she had their lunch set up. She finally acknowledged her by saying, "I figured since it was the beginning of the lunch hour, that we should go ahead and have something to eat before talking. Is that okay with you?" Jane nervously answered, "Uh yeah sure". Maura looked up at Jane and gave her a small smile, she then reached out her hand to grab Jane's. Jane looked down at there hands and then back up at Maura, she then gave her a big smile. Maura said, "I know we are both nervous, and I know we have a lot to talk about, but I think we should both relax. I mean it is just us, and we never used to be uncomfortable sharing a meal. So have a seat and I will return with some beverages okay."

Jane squeezed Maura's hand and tried to say something, but her nerves were getting the best of her and it came out like this,"I would agree, and I thought,... well can I,... I think it would help if..., Maura stopped Jane and said, "just ask Jane" Jane took a deep breath and said quickly, "Can I hug you, cause I really need to, I really missed you, and I have been so scared that I never would ever have the chance."

Maura took 2 steps forward and wrapped her arms around Jane, while Jane wrapped hers around Maura. They both started out stiff, but after a bit, they relaxed into each other. Maura thought she could stay this way forever, it felt so good to be in her arms again, this was the only medicine that she needed. Maybe she could just ask Jane for help. Then Maura let that thought slip from her head and pulled away. "I am going to go get our drinks now, be right back" Maura said as she went to the living area. When she came back with 2 O'Hara's Irish Wheat Beers, Jane was smiling at her and said, Thank you, you even have my favorite beer stocked in your hotel room." Maura replied, "wait til you see what I ordered you for lunch,(Maura lifts the cover from the dish), Bacon Cheeseburger and Cottage Fries." Jane looks at Maura and starts to cry, as she says,"God I have missed you so much, I am so sorry I let this happen. Please forgive me Maura, I can't live without you. I need you." Jane is sobbing and Maura has wrapped her up in her arms as she tells her, "Jane, We still have a lot and I mean a lot to talk about, but it is only fair that you know, I have forgiven you, but you need to forgive me too."

Jane just held on tighter and whispered to Maura, "You have nothing to apologize for. None of that was you, it was all done to you. I am so sorry I hurt you. I always said I would protect you, but I failed, I didn't protect you from me." Maura grabbed Jane by the shoulders and said, "Jane stop okay, I am not in the mood to rehash the blame game. Lets calm down and enjoy lunch, then lets talk okay. Oh and I am going first." Jane had to laugh at that, she wiped her eyes and sat down, she asked Maura if she was going to open her gift. Maura looked inside and said laughing, "Really Jane, gold flecked chocolate again! Fudge Clusters would have sufficed. Jane was raving over the cheeseburger as her new favorite, and even thought the beer tasted better in Ireland. Maura just took it all in, she was just so happy to be with Jane again. Once they were done, and had everything cleaned up they made there way to the couch. Maura grabbed 2 bottles of water on the way. Maura turned her body towards Jane, as she sat on the couch. Jane mirrored Maura's actions. Maura then began to tell Jane that she knew what happened back in Boston, that Angela explained everything, even how Frost was able to link Casey to all of it. She went on to say that she could understand how all of this happened, because she too was at fault for not confronting anyone. So that is why she feels she needs to take some of the blame. She also told her that she was sorry for what happened to Casey, that she did not want to come between them, {She knew what Angela said, she wanted to get to hear it from Jane}that if she was in love with him, then she should be going after him, that her happiness was the most important. This is when Jane jumped in with, "Maura, I need to tell you something, and I need you to let me talk okay, please do not stop me, you can ask questions when I am done. I was never in love with Casey. I loved him as an old friend maybe, but never in love with. I loved the Idea of being in love and making my Ma happy. I mean she was always setting me up and well you know how it was. So I was going with the motions. I made an ass out of myself. I hurt you. I was lying to my Ma, my family, and you. I can only say I thought I was protecting our friendship. You see, I was scared to admit to my Ma, to you , to Frankie and Tommy, that I... Well that I am...Oh shit why is this so hard?" Maura cut in then and said, "Jane, I am in love with you too. I was afraid as well. We are both really stupid"

Jane looked at Maura with her mouth open, "You knew didn't you?, I mean not in Boston, but here and now, you knew. Ma told you didn't she." Maura smiled and said, yes but I needed and wanted to hear you say it." Jane looked at Maura and said, "Maura Dorothea Isles, I am so in love with you, and I promise I will do everything in my power to make this right."

Maura looked at Jane and said, "Jane Clementine Rizzoli, I am in live with so much too, and I promise to mot be afraid to communicate all of my feelings and concerns, I need you to promise me though that you will pay attention to my feelings and concerns as well, and not just blow them off as nonsense. Can you do that?"

Jane replied, "I can promise you that, as long as you never use Clementine again."

Maura then said, "Jane there is one thing that I have been meaning to ask, but when I was talking to Angela, and well crying, I failed to ask it, Why does Angela have a pink cast?"

Jane started to laugh very hard, and had tears coming down her face, as said, "You're going to love this" So Jane then explained about how Mother Bear Rizzoli stood up for her cub, and how she took down the bad wolf Casey. Maura sat there in complete shock at first, then she began to smile, and said, "No wonder he took the ultimatum and left Boston."

Jane then went on to have a calm talk with Maura. Telling her about the first time she knew for sure that she was in love with her. She shared her fears and dreams. Then she told her about Constance and all she did to help them come to her. Jane told her that she wanted to do something nice for her, and asked Maura to help her come up with an idea. By now they were sitting in their usual positions on the couch, Jane in the corner, Maura with her head in Jane's lap. Jane was playing with Maura's hair, and Maura spoke up. "Jane I need to talk to you about what happened the other day. I need to talk about my break down." Jane said,"I'm here Maura, I am not leaving you, what is it?"

Maura started with her fears, "Jane, this afternoon I promised myself that I would not pursue a romantic relationship with you, until I was myself again. I do not feel like a whole person anymore. I feel broken, {Jane takes in a deep breath}, it is not from just this situation with Casey, this has been building up for the past few years. I let things build up without talking them through, without taking care of myself when the events happened. I never wanted to be a burden to you and well I should have sought a therapist to help me, but I always pushed it aside. Then something else would happen and it just accumulated. I just couldn't put a handle on who I was anymore. I wasn't sure where I belonged.

I mean maybe if I had talked about who my biological father was at the moment I found out, maybe I wouldn't have responded so poorly when you shot him. Lets see, Hoyt, Doyle, Hope, Cailyn, Dennis, Ian, My Mother, My Father, Cases we have had to handle, and then there is You. I just have so much going on in this head of mine, that I have been having these episodes where I cannot control myself. I find myself hyperventilating, or I have horrible nightmares. Then there was the time I found myself in the cemetery at my grave, in my pajamas. I had no idea how I got there. Yesterday was the wake up moment for me. I pushed the doctor away this morning, I told her I was fine. I know I ma not, I know I need help. I was not going to tell you though, because I know its a sign of weakness, and you said you gave up on Korsak because he saw you weak, and I didn't want you to see me like this. But I changed my mind, I can't do this alone, I don't want to be alone. I think I can get better, with you by my side. I already feel better with you here. I haven't felt the signs of a panic attack yet. I even had an episode with your mother, I swore Jane, I never Swear." Jane leaned down and kissed Maura's forehead, then said, "Maura, I am so sorry. I should have recognized that you needed to work things out, but I was an ass and always reacted with jokes and well I know I always downplayed what happened. It was my coping mechanism, but I should have realized that you needed more. I will help you what ever way I can. I told you I am not going anywhere. As for our relationship, we can go as slow as you want. I just need to be able to hold you, kiss you, which we still need to do, and sleep next to you, cause we both know that is the key to a good nights rest. So how about we take a walk or go to a museum, do something fun, like we used to. Just spend the rest of the day doing something that does not involve stress. Then we can have dinner with Ma, and then a movie and snuggle time on the couch for tonight, and then more snuggle time in bed. What do you say?"

Maura smiled up at Jane, lifted her arms backwards around Jane's head and pulled her down into a Kiss. It was slow and gentle, When they finally broke apart, Maura said, well now you kissed me, feel free to do so anytime you would like. As for the rest of the day, I would love that very much.

"Tomorrow, I am scheduled to head to Leeds, would you and Angela like to join me? When do you have to go back to Boston?" Maura asked

"I will check to see what Ma wants to do, but I am definitely going with you. You are stuck with me until you decide to go home, your mother made sure that I had enough funds to follow you around the world,"she laughed.

"We will ask her tonight then. Lets go enjoy the day." They left the room holding hands.

A/N: I hope this was good, I wrote this after being on the road for 6 hours and with the worst Migraine, but wanted to ensure a quick update. I think they head to LEEDS for a bit, see her Dr. there, and maybe a visit to NY to see Mother Isles would be good to, Maybe William Isles could make an appearance as well, we shall see. Thank you again for all of the wonderful reviews!


	14. Chapter 14:Erratic Behavior

A/N: Sorry for the late update, its vacation week in our household and yesterday was Zoo day, so that may be why Maura and Jane go to the zoo, lol. This is a bit shorter that recent ones, I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 14: Erratic Behavior

Maura decided as they made their way to the lobby that the day needed to focus on Jane. Maura knew that certain things she enjoyed, Jane found exhausting. She also knew that when she talked endlessly on topics, Jane would tire of that too and become moody and sarcastic. So that is why Maura decided to have a day of Jane. Maura did not want Jane second guessing being with her, she needed to make sure Jane was happy, and that Jane would never want to leave her.

As Jane and Maura stepped off the elevator and into the lobby Jane asked, "So where would you like to go Maur?" I thought maybe we could go to the Dublin Zoo, I have heard that it is very nice. Then there is somewhere else I would like to take you, but I want it to be a surprise. We should also text your mother to see if a 7 pm dinner reservation will be okay with her, and that we will meet her back at the hotel by 6pm, so that we have enough time to get ready." Maura replied.

Jane was smiling at her and said, "The zoo sounds great, and I will text Ma now."

Jane followed Maura as she led them to her rental car. Jane's mouth dropped open at the Mercedes, it was such an awesome car. Jane didn't even complain when Maura got in the drivers seat. A few minutes into driving and Angela had texted back that 7pm would fine, but wondered how she needed to dress. Maura told Jane that Casual was the dress code, Jane looked at her a bit funny, but then sent her Ma another text. They drove the rest of the way making small talk about the scenery around them.

Jane was having a blast at the zoo, she told stories about when she was younger, she and her brothers actually spent a night at the Franklin Park Zoo. Jane seemed to sense that something wasn't right with Maura, she thought it was weird that Maura was not giving her any educating tips on the animals. It was like her googlemouth was turned off, and that was shooting red warning signs off in Jane's head. When they arrived at the orangutans, Jane thought she would see if she could get Maura to spew some facts, so she said, "Hey Maur, what is the difference between an orangutan and a gorilla?"

Maura thought for a minute, she didn't not want to answer her, but felt she needed to give the simplest one, so that she didn't go on and on. So she said, "Orangutans are older primates, chimpanzees came about 7 million years after them. The Chimpanzees are the closest relative we have we share 99.4% of their DNA. If you would like to know more, I am sure there is information on that sign over there."

Jane knew Maura was holding back, but she wasn't sure why. The rest of the time at the zoo went on about the same. Jane trying to get Maura to open up and be herself, and Maura creatively avoiding her googleness. Maura even found a Zoo Guide to answer some of Jane's questions. When they finally made their way back to the entrance, Maura and Jane went to the gift shop to pick up souvenirs for back home.

Maura and Jane were now headed to the surprise destination, it was 3:45 and Maura knew she had to hurry to get across town. Once they passed their hotel, she knew they were almost there. When Jane saw where they were, she smiled over at Maura and said, "I've read stories in Sports Illustrated about this place. I always thought it be neat to see a Rugby match." Maura smiled back and said, "I thought you would enjoy seeing Aviva Stadium, I know this is Irish Football, and seeing as how I am not very verse in sports, I had hoped you would find it of interest. So it pleases me that I seem to have made a good choice. Now lets hurry, the last tour starts at 4pm." Jane was processing what Maura just said as they made their way to the ticket counter, but soon filed it away for later, when she heard the man say they would be seeing a practice match as well. The tour had ended and they were now sitting and watching the practice. At about 5:30 Maura excused herself and said she would be right back. She wanted to buy Jane a Jersey so she headed to the gift shop. She couldn't decide between the Irish National and the Republic of Ireland National teams, so she bought 1 of each. She then saw an Irish Claddagh and Celtic Knot Ceramic Teapot, she knew Angela would love the design and the meaning behind the symbol. Angela's love and friendship meant the world to her. When she was done she headed back to find Jane, it was time to head back to the hotel.

When Jane and Maura arrived back in the lobby, they were greeted by a very excited Angela. She shared with them all about her day with Liam as they made there way up the elevator. When they arrived at the 3rd floor, Jane and Angela made to get off, but Jane noticed that Maura was looking uneasy, and said, "Hey Maur, I am going to go change real quick, then I will come up and get you. We can then meet Ma down in the lobby, okay?" Maura replied, "I can wait for you Jane and then we can go up together, how does that sound?" Jane just said sure, and held the elevator door open for them to get off. She was really starting to worry, Maura was not being Maura. Jane decided that when they were alone later, she would broach the subject. Jane quickly washed her face to freshen up and put on a nice pair of black causal pants and a firebrick red, poplin shirt. She then followed Maura back upstairs, while her Ma finished getting ready. Jane figured she was in for a long wait, but was amazed when Maura reappeared only 15 minutes later, dressed in a simple black skirt with a chartreuse colored blouse. Jane took one look at Maura and said, "Wow, you look beautiful. That was like record time for you, now that leaves us with a few extra minutes to ourselves." Maura, who had gotten ready in a hurry, so as to not upset Jane and so that she was not alone for long, said,"Thank you Jane, I didn't want to leave you waiting, not to mention I was already missing you. So about those extra minutes, do you think we could have another go at the kissing, I find myself in need." Jane was laughing now, and walked over and took Maura in her arms. After a quick hug, they met in a slow sensual kiss. This then led to a heated battle of tongues, and arms feeling out each others bodies. Maura finally had to push away, her heart racing and legs becoming weak, she needed to stop before things got out of hand. "Jane, we really need to slow down, I am not ready for this. Too many of my past relationships started out fast, and look how well they went. I need more than just a jump in the bed," Maura noticed the look on Jane's face, was that disappointment, she really was a fool, so she said,"I'm sorry Jane, lets continue, I wasn't thinking." Maura then recaptured Jane into a heated kiss, and pushed her back onto the couch. As she was kissing her she began to unbutton Jane's blouse, then reached under her bra and found her destination, a very hard nipple. As she began to massage the breast in her one hand, she used her other to seek out Jane's waistband, Jane who had been caught up in the onslaught, finally got her head on straight and gently pushed back against Maura, telling her to stop. Maura now looked completely dejected, she got up and ran to the bathroom crying. Jane who was trying to get a hold of herself, sat back trying to figure out what happened. One minute she wants to go slow, the next she is all over me. Jane knew one thing, she had to figure out what was going on with Maura. She was about to go check on her, when all of sudden as quick as her departure was, Maura was already back in the room, face fixed and saying, "Jane, I believe it's time to go meet your mother." With that Maura was headed for the door. Jane was fixing her clothes and thinking, what the hell was that? She soon followed after her. Later she was getting to the bottom of this.


	15. Chapter 15 Fears Become KNown

A/N: Won't be around tomorrow to post, so I thought I'd give you another one today to make up for it. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 15: Fears become known

Maura drove them to Bull & Castle Beer Hall and Steakhouse for dinner. Angela was still talking about her day, and how much she loved Ireland. They were seated in the main restaurant, they would go to the beer hall after dinner. Once their orders were placed, Maura asked Angela if she would like to join them in Leeds. Angela's answer shocked her, "I would have loved to Maura, but your Mother asked me to stay on here for another week, It was supposed to be a surprise, but she said if I had to tell you I could. Your Mother just received her doctors approval to fly here. She will be arriving in 2 days. She knew you were headed to Leeds, and wanted me to assure you that she thinks you should still go there. She said that she and I would either wait for your return, or else we would join you two there. She felt that we should allow the two of you to have some time to yourselves. I have contacted Stanley and took a leave of absence, Lt Cavanaugh said he would make sure my job was there when we got back, so I have all the time in the world. "Angela had said with so much excitement.

Maura wasn't sure what she should say, she was just stunned. Finally she said, "It will be good for Mother to be able to get away from her Apartment in NY, she isn't used to being confined to one city for as long as she has been. I am sure you both will have a nice time together. Jane and I will probably be at least a week in Leeds. When she gets here, have her give me a call or text and we can better decide when to meet up again. So why don't we eat up and then go enjoy some of Ireland's best spirits."

Once they had finished their meals, they went to the beer hall, where they stayed for about an hour, just enjoying small talk, then they headed back to the hotel. Upon arriving at the 3rd floor again, Jane got out to grab her luggage, while Angela said goodbye to Maura. Once Jane was ready they once again headed back to Maura's room. Maura went to take a shower and get ready for the night, while Jane checked to see what movie they should buy on pay per view. When Maura was done, Jane quickly went about getting ready. They had settled on watching a comedy, Identity Thief. They snuggled upon the couch in their usual positions, neither really saying anything, just enjoying each other. Half way through the movie, which they didn't seem to be watching, Jane said, "Maura, I was wondering why you chose everything today with me in mind? You know I don't care what we do, as long as I am with you. Right?"

Maura deflected, "I enjoyed the zoo Jane, and the Tour was very informative. Bull & Castle has always been a favorite of my Father's and I just felt it would be something we would all enjoy."

Jane was not buying it, "Maura, do you feel uncomfortable around me? I mean you used to talk to me, and share all of your knowledge, I used to learn so much, but today you didn't share anything."

Maura was confused, Jane always made fun of her googlemouth, "But Jane, you don't like when I go on about stuff, you always try to shut me down, then when I don't, you get very frustrated with me. I am only trying to ensure that this relationship works."

Jane started to think back on everything that she had been filing away, including their heated make out session earlier. Then she said as she pulled Maura closer into her side, "Honey, I do not want you to go changing yourself for me, if you did that, then you wouldn't be who I fell in love with. I love that you know all of that stuff, I am sorry if I ever made you feel bad. Sometimes, I do not have patience, but that isn't your fault, it's mine. I have learned so much from you, and I can only imagine how much more I can learn. I did enjoy the Zoo, but I would have enjoyed going to Museums with you too. You are the only person I would enjoy them with, you make them fun and interesting, not to mention when I see you happy and excited, it makes me happy and excited. Do you understand? I Love you Maura."

Maura was trying to grasp her head around this, she heard Jane's words, and she knew Jane wasn't lying to her, but she was still struggling with, what if Jane got tired of her. "Jane, I know you say this now, but what if you become bored with me?, what if you become so impatient at me that you leave? What if I am not enough? What if you decide that being with a woman is not enough? I mean look at me, I am a mess, what if I become to too much for you to deal with? You do realize no one stays with me for long Jane, My real parents gave me up, My adoptive parents had no time for me, I had no friends, the others thought me to be too strange. I have had no lasting relationship, once they got bored with the sex, they were gone. You'll see, the same thing will happen to us." Maura had cried out as she tried to push Jane away.

Maura was starting to go into full panic attack, she was having trouble breathing, her heart was racing, and her body was becoming numb. Jane could see her sweat building up on Maura's forehead, and her body was shaking, but Jane kept her arms wrapped around her and held her even closer. Jane was real scared, she knew that she was not going to be able to help Maura on her own, she knew Maura needed to see someone. The sooner the better, she had never seen Maura this erratic. Jane kept telling Maura, "Breath Maura, I need you to take a deep breath for me. That's it sweetie, you can do it. I love you Maura, and I will keep saying it to you. I am not going anywhere, I know you are having trouble believing it, but it is true. So I am going to keep telling you this until you can believe it on your own. I need you too Maura, so it would be stupid of me to leave. All of your other relationships didn't work because they were all jerks and didn't deserve you. I am the lucky one. I almost became a jerk, but you helped me to see that the best thing in my life was you. I was finally strong enough to over come my fear, just at the thought of losing you. I cannot lose you!, now or ever. We will get through this, you'll see. Just like you helped me with Hoyt, I will help you. I love you Maura. I am so sorry that I helped to being this on. You should really be hating me right now. I know I hate me. You never deserved to be treated badly by anyone. I love you for you, and we are going to take things slow. We need to work on our friendship, rebuild it so its as strong as it was. Then we will build our relationship. We will date. We will kiss. Then when the time is right, and only when the time is right, we will show each other how much we love one another. Our first time, will be to make love. I will not be a Fuck and go for you. I love and respect you too much for that. Now lets go get some sleep, we have a big day tomorrow."

Maura had calmed down, her heart had stopped beating so fast, and she was using Jane's voice to gain control over her shaking body. She had done it again, she had another break down. Jane was still here, out of Love or guilt she was not sure. All She did know was that she didn't want to be this way anymore, She just wanted to get help. Tomorrow wouldn't come soon enough. She finally put some emotion into the embrace she was in with Jane and said, "I love you too Jane, I want to believe that we will make it, I want to be able to envision a long life together, maybe even a family together one day. I know I cannot do this on my own. I am so scared right now. I have never had panic attacks that were this severe ever. It is like an out of body experience, a part of me can see it, while the other part can not control it. Thank you for being here. You have to promise me though, if at anytime this becomes too much for you, you need to tell me. Now, I agree we need to get some rest. I really just need you to hold me, as for our relationship, I can agree to your terms for now. However once I am more myself, I would like to rediscuss it."

Jane and Maura both went to bed that night looking forward to Leeds. They both knew that a visit to Maura's doctor there would be most beneficial.


	16. Chapter 16:Light at the End of the Tunne

Chapter 16: Light at the end of the Tunnel

At breakfast, Angela had done most of the talking, which she found relief in for once. Jane had not slept well. She had just laid there holding Maura, so she could hear and feel her breathe. She witnessed Maura's nightmares for the first time, and could not shake the feeling that she was responsible for them. She had let her friend down in so many ways. So that is why she found herself distracted and in her own world, it wasn't until she heard her Mother saying goodbye to Maura, that she realized breakfast was over.

Once Maura had checked out, she and Jane headed to the ferry. The ferry was to depart at 9am, and arrive at Holyhead, U.K. by 12:29pm. Once Maura pulled her car into her assigned bay, she and Jane made their way to a bench on the upper deck. Jane reached for Maura's hand and held it in her lap. They had yet to speak about anything, other than simple talk one might have with a stranger. Jane had so much on her mind, that she needed to process. Maura seemed content in staying silent, she just squeezed Jane's hand and held on tighter, as she gave her a quick smile.

The night had been a real eye opener for Jane. She knew that if she had just been able to express her feelings to Maura, before the whole Casey debacle, that it would have spared Maura this added trauma. However, what hit Jane the hardest, was how she never realized what her sarcastic, impatient, and usually aggravated attitude did to her friend. She always thought herself to be funny most of the time. Jane didn't know why, but she enjoyed being the life of the party. Looking back Jane could see how she had a tendency to get pissy with her when she wanted answers about a case. How she was overly dramatic and impatient when Maura wanted to do something other than sit at home and watch a game. Like go shopping or attend a play. Then she thought back on how she seemed to make Maura the brunt of her jokes when out with the guys, picking on her over the things she said, how she dressed, and the losers that she dated. Maura always seemed to take it in stride, as Jane being Jane. Only if Jane had been paying attention, she would have saw the sadness in Maura's eyes, the hurt she tried to hide behind her half smirks. This however was still not the worst of it, she realized that she had failed her most, by not being there for her. She had belittled all of Maura's personal problems. Where Maura was always supportive of Jane and helped her work through her problems, she had been the opposite. Instead of being understanding of how one might grow up feeling unwanted by family, not knowing what it was like to have siblings, or what it meant to feel unconditional love. Jane had pushed her own feelings into it, telling her she should be happy that she didn't have a helicopter mom, happy she didn't have annoying brothers, happy that she could go off to boarding school and not have to deal with overbearing parents. She had been so unfair to her friend. She should have put herself in Maura's shoes along time ago. Maybe then she would have realized how much hurt Maura truly endured. How it would have felt to be so alone in life. How she too might have wondered where she had come from, and the importance of knowing her biological parents. To want to feel a connection to someone. If she had just been a true caring friend, she could have helped her. Instead her actions and words added to the breaking of Maura Isles.

Maura looked over at Jane when she felt her shaking a bit, she realized that Jane was crying. Maura reached over with one hand and started to wipe her tears, the other she wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her into her side. Then she asked with concern in her voice, "Jane what is it? Why are you crying?" Jane took a few shuddering breaths and got out, "I am so sorry for failing you, I have not been a real friend to you. Maybe in the beginning, but somehow I ended up taking advantage of you. I always said I would protect you, I may have done that physically, but I failed at protecting you emotionally. I got out of hand with all the jokes and insensitive things I said to you. I should have allowed you to tell me about your life, I should have listened to your concerns. I should have supported you better. I should have been the friend you always were to me."

Maura knew that Jane had felt sorry, she had excepted her apologies before. At the time however it was more out of needing Jane for her own selfish reasons, rather than believing Jane was truly sorry, that Jane truly understood what she had done to her. But this was the first time that she really started to feel that Jane was finally realizing how much she had unintentionally hurt her. Maura knew Jane was not being a bully or vindictive, when she said the things she did. She was just being Jane. She new her friend was not one for talking about feelings and emotions, nor did she like talking about things that happened in the past, Jane felt that what happened, happened. One should move on and live the present and future. Maura actually was envious of Jane's ability to do this, but their lives had been so much different. Jane had never had the need to question her place in life, never had to second guess if she was loved. Jane had someone to read her bedtime stories, Jane knew what holidays meant, Jane went to her Senior Prom, Jane knew what love was, she didn't have to seek it out. So as she was holding her friend, she thought about all they had been through, and said,"Jane, I love you. I know you feel bad, and I understand it, but you need to forgive yourself, as I have forgiven you. This is the first time that I want to put the past in the past. We can keep all of our fun good memories, but I want to never speak of the bad between us. I want us to agree to a clean slate here and now, you and me go forward together. We have a wonderful future together to look forward to, Yes I need to get over my past and the things that happened which caused me to get this way. The first step was for me to recognize that I do need to talk to someone, that is going to start tomorrow. The second step was for me to admit that I cannot do this alone, and here you are with me. The third step is for us to move on and start to get to know each other again, and that begins right this second, as long as you can forgive yourself." Maura pulls Jane into a kiss, pouring as much love as she can into it. She needs Jane to feel truly forgiven.

Then pulls back and says, "Can you do step 3?" Jane pulls Maura back into the kiss, she is ready to stop beating herself up, she is ready to give Maura 100%, she is ready for their future. She finally feels like all will be okay. Jane finally pulls back and says, "I just did, I love you and we will do this together. So why don't we go inside and get some coffee, then you can tell me all about Leeds and why it is your favorite city in the U.K."

They got up and walked arm in arm to the galley. This was the first time in the past few days that they both truly believed things were headed in the right direction. Maura felt a bounce in her step that had been absent for a long time, she felt a huge weight lift off her chest. For the first time she truly believed that she and Jane would be together forever.


	17. Chapter 17: Making the Appointment

Chapter 17: Making the Appointment

As Jane and Maura sat out on deck enjoying the ferry ride, they were able to get pictures of Bottlenose Dolphins, Grey Seals and Harbour seals. The view was so breathtaking, Jane had never experienced anything like this. Maura was so happy to be experiencing this with her, before she had either been by herself, or with her parents, who never took the time to appreciate the beauty. Maura turned to Jane and pointed out the Harbour Porpoise, saying "Jane do you know the difference between a Porpoise and a dolphin?" Jane was smiling and said, "Well I noticed that this Porpoise's dorsal fin looks more pointy, like that of a shark." "Yes Jane, that is one difference, they are also a bit stouter than a dolphin. They are both related to the whale, but each are in a different family class. You would relate more to a dolphin, they are very social and live in pods. Where as I would relate more to a porpoise, they are usually shy and live alone or in a very small family group."Maura stated.

Jane pulled Maura into a hug and laughed, "Well that may have been before, but once the whole Rizzoli family, (aunts, uncles, and cousins) get to know you, I see you transforming into a dolphin just like me."

Maura hugged her back and just laughed. Soon the ferry was in docking mode, and all drivers were asked to return to their vehicles. It took about a half hour for them to disembark, then they headed into Holyhead to find a place to have lunch. They settled on the Holyhead Pizza House, they both found that they had been craving one. So they ordered it to go and enjoyed a picnic lunch by the harbor. Once they were finished Maura let Jane drive them to Leeds, while she navigated. Along the way they sang together to hits from the Beatles. By 4pm they were pulling up to Chambers Park Place, Jane mentioned that it didn't look like a hotel, and Maura explained that they were service apartments. A home away from home, they were fully furnished rooms, including a kitchen. So they made there way to there residence. It was located on the 3rd level, and overlooked the Crown Prosecution Service Building. Once Jane brought up all the bags, they decided to take a short nap before heading to dinner.

Jane slept for 2 hours like a log, she was so content to be wrapped up with Maura, after their talk that morning she was feeling wonderful. Everything was going to be okay. As she began to stir, and open her eyes, she realized that Maura was laying there, just staring and smiling. Jane laughed and closed her eyes again, then she pulled Maura on top of her and said, "Can we have a whole day, where we just stay in bed and do nothing but snuggle and enjoy each other?" Maura leaned into Jane and began kissing her. It started out slow, and worked its way into a frenzied attack. There began a fight for dominance, Jane sought entrance and Maura granted it. Maura began to rub her hands up under Jane's shirt, she loved the smooth feel of her skin and her toned abs. Jane was now rubbing her hands all over Maura's silky skin on her back, making her way to unclasp Maura's bra. Once she did, Jane used her legs and wrapped them around Maura's back, using them to flip Maura onto her back. Jane wanted to explore every inch of Maura, she wanted, no she needed to show her just how much she loved her. So that is just what she did for the next hour, things would have continued on beyond that, but the last orgasm Maura had, sent her over the edge and she passed out. Jane now found herself just watching Maura, as she rested and got her energy back. When Maura finally opened her eyes, she was greeted with the biggest Rizzoli grin, and said."Wow, that was better than I had ever dreamed, you must be really proud of yourself. I know we said slow, but I really am glad we got carried away. I am only sorry that I haven't reciprocated yet. How about we get a quick dinner and then come back to have desert?" Jane laughed, "Slow down tiger, we have all the time in the world. But I will admit I am totally addicted to you, and I cannot wait to show you over and over again, how much you mean to me, How much in love with you that I am. So yeah a quick dinner sounds good." Maura went to grab a quick shower and they both were ready by 8pm to head out. They found a small cafe around the corner, where they each had a BLT, Chips and a beer. When they were done, they just walked hand in hand for awhile, until they decided to head back and call it a night. By 10:30, they were changed into their night clothes and snuggled up in bed. It only took a few minutes for them to be back at it again.

This time however they both got what they wanted and shared their first moment of true completeness, as they came together, both reaching a simultaneous orgasm. They had both been sated and fell into a deep sleep.

It was 7am when Maura first began to stir, she loved the feeling of waking up with Jane. She laid there a few more minutes, then she gently extracted herself from Jane's arms. Maura proceed to take a shower and get ready for the day. Jane was still sleeping when she was finished, so she went to the kitchen to make them some coffee. As it was brewing, Maura looked up the number to her doctor. Dr. Abigail Simms. This was a doctor that Maura's parents sought out for her years ago. It had become apparent that she suffered from anxiety attacks when faced with social situations. The doctor worked with her so that she could feel more comfortable around people. The doctor had helped her some, she was able to get through boarding school, medical school and her clinical rotations, without having too many attacks. By the time she went off to Africa for Doctors Without Borders, she was able to control them. That is why she believed that this was the doctor to help her, she already knew Maura's history for the most part. So she trusted her and knew she would be comfortable.

When Jane woke up she missed having Maura with her, so she hurried up and got ready, so she could join Maura in the living area. She smelled the coffee, and couldn't wait. As she was walking in, she heard the tail end of Maura's conversation, "Yes, 2:30 will work out fine, Yes I look forward to seeing you to. Thank you again for fitting me in on such short notice. Goodbye."

Jane walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, snuggling her nose into Maura's neck and said, "I missed you when I woke up, (kiss to the neck), The coffee smells almost as good as you, (another kiss to her neck), Who are we seeing at 2:30? (now she pulls Maura around so she can kiss her on the kips) Good morning by the way"

Maura smiles up at Jane, then kisses her back. "Good morning to you to, and I didn't want to wake you, you needed your rest. I made an appointment to see my doctor, she was kind enough to fit us in at 2:30 this afternoon. That gives us time to do something fun before then. Maybe Breakfast out, take in a Museum, if you are up for it. Then we can go buy some groceries, because eating out may get a bit tiresome."

Jane thought this over and replied,"Breakfast sounds wonderful, I am famished. Museum sounds great, as long as you explain what I am looking at. Groceries are always a good thing, just not all of that healthy stuff. What do you mean she fit us in?"

Maura pulled back at the last part and said in a shocked tone, "Oh, Jane I am sorry. I just assumed that you would want to meet her, and maybe listen to what she had to say about my problem. It's okay, you can check out the sites, while I am at her office. I am a big girl after all, no hand holding needed here."

Jane felt like an ass again, "Maura don't be sorry, I didn't think you would want me there, I mean I don't know what I mean, I want to support you in every way, so yes I want to meet her, and then she can see that you have someone with you, and if you want me to be in there with you, that is where I will be." Jane pulled Maura back into a hug, kissed the top of her head and said, "Let's go get breakfast and you can tell me what museum we are going to, then you can tell me about Dr. Simms."

Maura pulled back again and looked into Jane's eyes, all she saw was sincerity, so she agreed and they headed out. While they ate Maura explained about how her parents found Dr. Simms for her and how she helped her in the past. Then they headed to the Medical Museum, where they spent the morning hours, followed by a few laps at the indoor go kart place. When it was 12pm they headed to the grocers and picked up enough food for the next few days. They returned to the apartment by 12:45, giving them enough time to change and have a quick bite, before heading out to see Dr. Simms.


	18. Chapter 18: Therapy

Chapter 18: Therapy

Maura and Jane arrived at Dr. Simms office at 2:15pm, Jane had never seen a doctors office quite like this. The reception area was like a library, wall to wall books on 3 sides, and a floor to ceiling window overlooking the Leeds Canal on the other. Maura checked in with the receptionist, while Jane looked around at the books. When Maura was done, they both sat on what appeared to be an antique leather sofa. A few minutes later, the receptionist let them know they could go in.

Dr. Abigail Simms was a smartly dressed petite, older woman. Jane guessed that she was in her early 60's and noted a touch of gray in her hair. She approached Maura when they walked in with a large smile on her face. "Maura dear, it is so good to see you. It's been what, about 8 yrs since you were last here?" Dr. Simms said as she gave Maura a hug. Maura replied as she was let go from the hug, "Yes, I believe that is about right. It is good to see you too, this is my girlfriend, Jane Rizzoli. (Jane reaches over and shakes the doctors hand) I want to thank you again for fitting me in, us in. It is okay if Jane stays with me." Doctor Simms noticed that Maura was a bit nervous and she seemed to be very dependent upon her girlfriend for support. Ever since she walked into the office, except for the hug, she had a death grip on Jane's hand. So she felt that it was best to have Maura as comfortable as possible, and if that meant allowing Jane to stay, then she would. "Of course Maura, I take that as your verbal approval for Jane to be able to hear full disclosure of your past and present medical records." Abigail said. "Yes Dr. I have nothing to hide from Jane, in fact I need for her to know what it is going on, I am going to be leaning on her for support and the more she is involved the better." Maura stated confidently. Dr. Simms smiled at Jane and directed them to have a seat.

Dr. Simms began, "I would like to start out by saying I scanned over your records prior to your arrival, it appears that when we last met, you were changing positions at San Francisco Medical Center. You had been one of there top Neurosurgeons, but after only 8 months, you decided to step back from working on patients, and accepted the position of Chief Neuropathologist there. Are you still employed at that hospital?"

Jane sat with a surprised look on her face, she never knew that Maura had been a surgeon. A neurosurgeon no less. What Maura had given up due to her fears, shocked her.

Maura saw the look on Jane's face, and felt a bit ashamed, Jane must think less of me now, I could have been so successful saving lives, instead I cut people up. She replied to Abigail, "No, I left San Francisco 5 years ago. I am currently the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Boston. My parents wanted me to take a more active role in the Isles Foundation, and I had no reason to stay in San Francisco, so I came back home. I met Jane at work, where she is a homicide detective and we soon became fast friends. It must be odd for Jane to hear that I was once a neurosurgeon, especially when I had difficulty reacting to save her brother a few years ago. It just proves that I was not meant for such a job."

Dr. Simms could see that Maura felt ashamed, embarrassed even. She was about to tell Maura how being the Chief Medical Examiner at such a young age was a huge accomplishment, but before she could Jane spoke up. "Maura, I hate when you put your skills as a Doctor down, that day you did save Frankie's life, hell you saved mine too. We were all under a great deal of stress. Gunman had the run of the building, not to mention one of the bad guys was standing right in the room with us. Remember, we were in a morgue, not an emergency room. If we had been, you would have had all the tools you needed at your disposal. I just helped you to stay calm and be Macgyver. I have always been in awe of your knowledge and accomplishments, and now knowing this, just makes me even more proud. Name another Chief Medical Examiner that got the job at your age, name any medical examiner that has helped to close as many cases as we do. Not a one Maura." Jane put her arm around Maura and gave her a side hug and kissed her head.

Dr, Simms took all of this in, and knew exactly why she needed Jane. Then she said, "Let us move on, Can you tell me Maura why you are here? You only mentioned anxiety attacks to my receptionist, so if you could explain what you think has brought them on, I can get a better idea of how I can help you,"

Maura spent the next 30 minutes giving an overview of all that had transpired over the past 5 years, which led to her being in the doctors office. The doctor was busy taking notes as she went along, not interrupting her once. When Maura was finished she asked them to give her a minute while she processed everything. During this time, Jane went back to side hugging Maura and rubbing her back.

After a few minutes, Dr. Simms said, "I think that we have two separate issues at work here, stress and what I would call unresolved abandonment issues. When you combine these together, I can see how the panic attacks are becoming hard to control. Especially since you have not dealt with the level of stress that you are at. I understand your job causes stress in and of itself, but when you have had some traumatic events added to that, and have not sought out therapy to guide you through a relief process, it just makes the next event, even harder to get over. I will also add that depression is part of the issue, but not as bad as you may think. Not to downplay depression, any form is serious, but I think once we can come to terms with the abandonment, and talk through everything else, I feel the depression will not be an issue. Since Jane will be with you during your sessions, I would like to also delve into your relationship. I think I may be able to help with current and past issues that you may not have resolved 100 %. Would you both be in agreement with that?"

Maura and Jane looked into each others eye, they were both on the same page, so Maura spoke and said, "Yes, I think we can both agree to that. We both had agreed that we would forget the past, and move on to the future. But I think as long as we have you to guide us, and keep us grounded, it could only prove to strengthen our friendship, our relationship. I know Jane will admit to not being comfortable talking about feelings and she doesn't like to show any sign of weakness, however I think she will come to trust you, the way I have." Jane squeezed Maura's hand and said, "Yes, that is true. I do not like to talk through my issues with doctors, well all doctors except this one, but I am willing to do this. For Us, our friendship and our relationship, I can do this."

Dr. Simms smiled at the love being displayed in front of her, these two were going to be her most favorite patients to date. She could not wait to help them both heal. "Our time is up for today, but how about we schedule 1 ½ hr sessions, for Monday thru Friday, giving you the weekend to decompress. So I will see you both again on Monday, your weekend assignment is to go enjoy yourselves."

Maura and Jane responded at the same time, "we can do that".


	19. Chapter 19: Time for Fun

Chapter 19: Time for Fun

Maura and Jane had returned to the apartment after meeting with Dr. Simms. It was about 4:30 in the afternoon and Maura found herself exhausted from their first session. She knew that she would have to go through it all, but to summarize her past 5 years, in all of 30 minutes took a lot out of her. Jane had recognized right away that Maura was tired, that is why when they arrived back, she went and ran Maura a hot bath. She found bath oils and put some in the water, then she lit a few candles that were on the sink for her as well. Before leaving the room to get Maura, she put on music, from the whole house audio system. If the room could speak, it would say pure relaxation.

Jane found Maura standing and staring out at the streets, she put her arms around her waist and kissed the side of her neck. Then she said, "Why don't you go enjoy the bath I just ran for you, then we will take a nap before deciding what to do about dinner."

Maura turned in Jane's arms and laid her head against her chest. She took a deep breath and said,"Thank you for doing that, however the only way I am going to relax and enjoy it, is if you are in there with me, holding me. I do not want to be alone right now."

Jane pulled Maura's chin up, so she could look in her eyes and said,"I would love to hold you", Jane leans in and kisses Maura, then pulls her hand as she guides them to the bath.

They had stayed in the bath with Jane sitting behind Maura, as she laid back against her, enjoying the serene moment. Lavender permeated around the room, while the sounds of artists like Adele, Ellie Goulding and Kate Nash, drifted through the air. Maura was so content in this moment. A little while later Jane had found Maura asleep in her arms, she gently pulled herself out from behind Maura, reached for a towel and wrapped Maura up. She then carried her to the bed and lied her down. Jane took a moment to dry herself off, then slipped in behind her, spooning her up and falling into a deep slumber.

Around 6:30pm Maura woke first and smiled when she realized she was laying naked in Jane's arms. This was what she always had dreamed of, this had to be her happiest moment in life by far. She felt safe, loved and most importantly, she felt alive. Her life felt full of so much promise now. She kissed Jane's naked shoulder, then quietly extracted herself from Jane. Maura put on her robe, that was at the end of the bed, and headed out to the kitchen.

Jane began to stir 30 minutes later, she reached out to grab for Maura, but only found more of the comforter. Jane was a little sad not to find Maura still in bed with her, it had felt so right to be together like that. Jane had never felt like this with anyone in her life. She doubts she really has loved anyone before Maura, this thing they have is so complex. Maura completes her in mind, body, heart and soul. Jane figured if she were going all out sappy here, Maura was the missing puzzle piece in her life. Everything made sense now, everything fit. Jane could see herself being happy for the rest of her life, as long as she had Maura. So that was why she needed to make sure she didn't fuck it up. She had a bad track record when it came to relationships. However if she really gave it some thought, she never wanted any of those relationships, they were just a thing to do to pass the time in life. Now though, with Maura, this was it. This she wanted more than anything. Then she thought, so why the hell am I just laying here in bed alone. Jane jumped out of bed and put on some clothes. She went in search of her other half.

When Jane left the bedroom her mouth began to water. The room was was filled with a savory aroma. She found Maura at the stove stirring something in a pot. She called out to her, so as not to startle her,"Good evening Babe, I missed you when I woke up, but I have to say something smells wonderful."

Then she wraps her arms around Maura's waist, something that has become her favorite thing to do, and kisses her along her neck. Maura smiled at Jane, she could really get used to this domestication with Jane. "I missed you too, however I wanted to fix you a nice home cooked meal, especially after that wonderful bath you shared with me. So if don't mind setting the table, dinner will be ready in just a few minutes." Maura said as she pulled away to start stirring the pot again. Jane went about getting the dishes and utensils, and asked, "So what are we having this evening Chef Isles?" Maura laughed at Jane's playfulness and answered, "We will be having braised baked salmon, over fresh tomato risotto, with a side of grilled asparagus. It will be complimented with a nice Pinot Noir. Later I will be taking you to one of my favorite Italian coffee bars here in Leeds. They have a wonderful classic Tiramisu and Cannolis that you will find amazing. Not to mention some of the best lattes in the world."

Jane walked back over to Maura and watched as she placed the salmon and risotto on either side of the asparagus, which was plated on a large platter, and said smiling, "Look at this plating, I think you have been watching too many food network shows." Maura just shook her head and walked it over to the table, where she set it down. They shared the meal and talked about what they would like to do this weekend. Maura suggested that they both pick a place to go on Saturday, and for Sunday they would stay in bed until late, then take a stroll in the park and have a late afternoon picnic. Jane agreed that it sounded like a good idea. When they were done, Jane offered to do the dishes while Maura went to get dressed.

By 8:30pm, the girls found themselves at Salvo's, enjoying their desert and lattes. When they were done, they decided to take a walk along the waterfront, before returning home. Once they did get back they changed for the night and climbed into bed, with Maura quickly finding herself wrapped up with Jane.

The next day found them enjoying the Royal Armourie Museum, (Jane's pick), and the Temple Newsam House, (Maura's pick). They had a lite lunch at a bistro in town, and then an early dinner back at Salvo's. They were resting a bit now, before their planned evening out. Maura thought back to their day so far. It felt like old times to her, she felt the ease in which they had always had with one another. They just fell into that same comfortable rhythm that they had always shared. Maura found that she was looking forward to their next session, she knew it would be hard, but just after today with Jane, sharing time together, she was feeling herself heal even more. She was having less doubts in her mind about their future. She was beginning to have less thoughts of Jane leaving, and more thoughts about what they would look forward to next. Maura took in Jane's actions as she effortlessly did the simplest of things for her. Like holding doors, and wiping excess food from her face, it was like second nature to Jane. In every gesture coming from her, she felt Love. Then there was the more sentimental things like always reaching to hold her hand, listening intently as Maura shared stories of her visits to Leeds, and the way Jane would seek to learn more about what they were seeing. Truly enjoying Maura's googlemouth. No longer did Maura hear the sarcasm, instead their was sincerity, a true sense that Jane was proud of her knowledge, and eagerness on Jane's part to learn from her. Maura snuggled more into Jane's side, and said "Thank you for today Jane, I really enjoyed it. So I know you said you wanted to plan this evening. Can you tell me where we are going?" Jane had been lying there as well thinking back and she wrapped the day up in one word, perfect. She smiled into Maura's hair, then said, "No need to thank me Maur, I am just so happy that we are here together, spending time with each other. Maybe one day we can go to Italy, or even Paris. I know we have a ways to go before a proposal, but I think Italy would be a great place for a honeymoon. To answer her question though, miss inquisitive, I am taking you to a comedy club. I love hearing your laugh, and I want to spend the night just listening to it." Maura turned to look at Jane and smiled, she leaned in and gave her a kiss, then responded, "I would love to experience Italy and Paris with you. We may even be able to take a few days and see Paris if you would like. Since the Isles foundation Jet is still in Dublin, they could very easily fly us there and back. We will have to see how my progress goes with Dr. Simms. Italy would be nice for a honeymoon, but I actually envisioned us going to Disney World, maybe even a Disney Cruise." Jane was laughing now, "What's so funny Jane", Maura asked. Jane smiled then said, "You remember when we discussed our dream weddings, (Maura nodded), well what happened to the volcano and Italy. It is a far cry from Disney World." Maura thought how best to respond, and then said," That night as we were laying there, I started to think about your dream wedding, and how simple but wonderful it sounded. I mean why put on such a big elaborate production. A wedding should be about the two people getting married, not a show for those who would attend. Then I started to dream about what would be a perfect fit for us. I mean we did grow up in different worlds. I will always like some of the finer things that I grew up with, but I have come to love the simpler world that you grew up in. Since meeting you, I don't find myself wanting to eat at 5 star restaurants all the time, maybe for special occasions, but not all the time. I find I'd rather eat Thai, Chinese, Pizza, and Burgers. Well maybe veggie burgers. The same can be said for when we do things outside of work. I do not need to go to Opera's, Symphonies, and Balls. I enjoy them, but I'd rather spend my time at the movies, concerts in the park, or even street carnivals. I love being in your world, I do not like who I am when I am subjected to being in mine. So going back to my dream wedding, our dream wedding. I can see us at Fenway Park, with the stunning view of the skyline. You in a tailored Red Sox Jersey and white tux pants. I would be in a white strapless Vera Wang dress, with a simple train. Bass and Joe could be our ring bearers. (This brought out a laugh from Jane) We would have our reception in their EMC Club, with the open kitchen and wine bar. Our food however, would be a step up from hotdogs and burgers. I see a mix of Italian and French entrees, with a variety of sides. Our cake would be in the shape of baseball diamond, but it would still be made of a caramel cake with a hazelnut butter-cream frosting. Instead of a small orchestra, we would have a DJ, playing a mix of our favorite artists. I hope we could leave Led Zeppelin and AC/DC out of it though, (Maura said with a chuckle).When it comes to our first dance together, I would have Rondo and his buddies, perform Ella Fitzgerald's, All The Things That You Are. Then we would end the night with fireworks, before heading to our first night as wife and wife, at the Hotel Commonwealth. In the morning we would take the Isles Foundation Jet, and head to Florida. Where we would go to amusement parks, swim in the ocean, and walk on the beach. But my favorite dream is Where we are staying at our own beach house and we make love for hours on our private secluded beach." Maura and Jane were both smiling at this vision. Jane pulls herself from the journey and says, "Can that be me Dream Wedding as well? It is perfect, I wouldn't change a thing. You would really have Rondo play at our wedding, (Jane says smiling), that is really sweet Maura."

Maura says, "He is a friend Jane and I want all of our true friends to share in our day." "I love you so much Maur, but I have a question, Do you already have this beach house and private beach?"

"No, but I was viewing some lovely homes about a year ago, and it just stuck." Maura laughed.

Jane laid there a few more minutes and said, "I don't know if I want to wait long Maura, I already know that I am in love with you so much, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, make a family with you. I am also finding it hard to get that beautiful wedding out of my head. So don't be surprised if I propose to you soon, as in very soon."

Maura moved on top of Jane and began kissing her lips, slowly at first. Then with more purpose, she then ran her tongue along her neck and gave a little bite into her shoulder. Jane began to undress Maura, revealing her emerald lace bra, she kissed her along the top of her breasts, kneading them as she did. Maura let out soft moans at this. Soon they both found themselves bringing each other to the edge, both experiencing body numbing orgasms, not one but three consecutively. They were both panting in each others arms, coming down from their high. Jane was the first to speak,"That was beyond anything that I ever imagined. You are so wonderful, and I will never be able to get enough of you. Why don't we skip the comedy club, rest and go for round two." Maura was still breathing heavy when she giggled, "That was amazing, I too find myself wanting more and more of you. Yes skip Comedy club good idea. Rest even better. Round 2, priceless." Jane laughed, Maur your jokes are getting funnier and funnier." It didn't take long for them to fall into a deep sleep, in each others arms, the only way they were meant to be.


	20. Chapter 20:Time for Healing

A/N: Thank you again to all who have reviewed, followed, and favorited this story! I have been having so much fun writing this. The Doctor sessions will probably be the hardest to write. I may skip some after the initial ones, or give an overview. Not quite sure, will see where my fingers take me on the keyboard. I want them to move on, but yet not too quickly, it wouldn't be realistic. So if it gets to be too boring or repetitive, let me know and we will get the girls back with their mums sooner than later. I am starting her memories at the age of 4, because that is the earliest age that I know I can vividly remember, so I know its not farfetched. But I do need to get them to Paris, I think one of them may find the city of love a perfect place to ask a question. (wonder which one though). So happy reading! Love you all for your support! :)

Chapter 20: Time for Healing

Sunday had rolled around and the girls found themselves just lounging around in the bed. Then later they moved to cuddling on the couch, while watching various television programs. Later in the day they enjoyed another relaxing bath together, before heading back to bed and calling it a night. They both wanted to be fresh for the morning. When they had scheduled their appointments for the week, they wanted them to be in the A.M. This would give them the afternoons and evenings to unwind and rest up before the following sessions.

Monday Morning at 9am, they found themselves sitting in on the couch in Dr. Simms office. Since this was a timed visit, the Doctor would not be wasting time on pleasantries. Her job was to get Maura well.

"Let's get started ladies, Maura I would like for you to start at the first time you felt like you were being abandoned and then go through your life, filling me in on as many situations where these feelings came in to play. I want you to elaborate on the times that were most painful to you, but also include the not as painful times as well. So get yourself comfortable and when you are ready you may start. There is water in the pitcher there, and whenever you need a break, just stop."

Maura looked to Jane and then to Abigail, the doctor reassured her to relax anyway she wanted. So Maura removed her shoes and pulled her feet up underneath on the couch, and sat leaning into Jane's side on the couch. Just as if they had been at home watching a movie. Jane had her arm around Maura, and gave her shoulder a squeeze, letting her know it would be alright. After a minute, Maura was ready.

"Well when I was a child I didn't know the term would be abandonment. It wasn't until I was older that I was able to see it as that. I grew up believing that there was something wrong with me, I mean there has to be, or had to be. I can remember back to the age of 4, it is when I first began to read. My nanny had bought the book Madeline for me. She read to me everyday as I sat in her lap, the same story everyday, until I was able to read it out loud by myself. I can remember being so proud that I was able to do so. I couldn't wait until Mother and Father came home, so that I could read it to them. When I finally was able to read it to my Mother, I went to sit in her lap. She questioned me about what I was doing, and made me sit on the couch instead. I can remember feeling hurt, even a bit scared, I didn't understand what I was doing wrong. She was my mother. I believe I started to cry, which upset her even more. I know at some point I told her that Helen allowed me to, and that it was a nice feeling to be able to do so. That was the last day that I ever sat in an adults lap. The next day I no longer had Helen as a nanny, she had been fired. My new nanny after that, was not involved with me, she watched, but never interacted. I was alone now, to fend for myself. To entertain myself. My piano and ballet lessons were all private, so I never had a chance to be around other children."

Dr. Simms interrupted Maura at this time, "If I remember correctly, you did have cousins that were around your age, did you not? Were you ever allowed to play with them?"

"Yes, My Fathers brother had several children, as well as my Mother's sisters. They each had a few children as well. I was around them when we went to family functions. The children would be called upon to either do a dance recital or play a piece they had mastered on the piano or violin. I would try to get out of it because I never felt comfortable in front of them. At the age of 6, I was able to play Beethoven's Opus 106, almost to perfection. It was the first time I could sense that my parents were proud of me and they couldn't wait for me to play for the family. So I did my best to reel in my fear. As I was about to start, my cousin Thomas, who loved attention, stood up in front of the family and asked why I was allowed to perform. He went on to say that only a real Isles should have the privilege. I remember hearing gasps from my aunts and uncles. I wasn't quite sure what he had meant and was going to ask my mother, when my other cousins started in on me as well. Taunting me about being adopted. I was so upset that and confused that I ran out of my Uncles house. At the time he lived on Beacon Street and I ran across the street and headed to the Frog Pond. I can remember as I was crying on a bench, I saw so many families in the wading pool. They looked so happy, and I wondered why I didn't have that. Once my father had found me, he became stern and scolded me for running away. I was escorted back to the family car and sat in silence until we arrived back at our home in Cambridge. When my parents finally sat me down, they simply stated, Yes you are adopted When I began to ask questions, they cut me off, and said that I was an Isles by law and that nothing would change that. I think that is when I started to see myself as more of a business deal to them, rather than a child. They needed a child to look good within their circles, I was that child. It improved a couples standing when they had children, someone to pass the legacy onto. If it was not for that, I do not believe my parents would have even bothered with taking me. So From that point on I knew I was not really wanted. I excepted it for what it was and continued our business arrangement. I went to the best schools, had the best clothing, and was able to pursue what I enjoyed. Then as you know, when I was old enough I applied to L'Ermitage, an all girls boarding school just outside of Paris. I stayed there for the whole year, I rarely came home for the holidays, because when I did, my parents were rarely home. When I was older and showed an interest in Archeology, my father invited me to spend the summer with him in Peru. I really enjoyed our time and looked forward to the next summer. However, when he realized that my career choice lied in the area of medicine, I was never invited again."

Maura sat there for a minute not saying anything, just looking at the doctor. She began to shake her head, she was upset with herself. Then she said, "You know, I am really beginning to question why this remains an issue with me. I am 36 years old. I should have moved on from this. I should have come to terms with the fact that I did not have a childhood filled with love, or companionship. I did well, I have been happy. Yes it is normal to wonder what life would have been like if I had not been adopted. What if I had been adopted by people like the Rizzoli's, or what if I had never been put up for adoption. But that too should have been resolved years ago right? Why can't I let this drop? I should be happy with how my life turned out. These past few days have been the best days in my entire life. Why is it so hard to let the past go?" Maura was becoming increasingly agitated with herself, and Dr. Simms jumped in, while Jane sat trying to get Maura to calm down, by rubbing her back.

"Maura, take a few deep calming breaths for me. (Maura did this) Now take a drink of water. (Jane poured it for her and she drank) Now listen to me, it is a good sign that you can recognize all of this. That you can see how what has happened is in the past, and how it shouldn't project on your present and future life. Now with that said, I want to end here today. I am giving you an assignment. Tomorrow I want you to come in and give me an answer to this question. When did your past start to come back to you? I know when we last met, you were in a good place. So what in the past 8 years brought back these feelings?(Maura looked like she was about to answer)I don't want you to answer now, think about it and we will talk tomorrow. Jane you were a silent partner today, but tomorrow I would like for you talk to me about the time you and Maura stopped talking. Maura mentioned it briefly on Friday, but I think it is very relevant. Now I want you to go and enjoy the rest of your day. Remember, do something fun and carefree. How about bowling? Yes, Jane take Maura bowling."

Dr. Simms, Jane and Maura said there goodbyes and went on with their day. It was 10:30 and too early for lunch, so they decided to head back and have some coffee and decompress.

A/N #2- This is the first chapter that I am not happy with. I will try to make the next session flow better.


	21. Chapter 21 : Too much Too fast

A/N: Wow! Thank you for the great support, Here I was thinking that you wouldn't like the last chap, I guess I was wrong. I am very critical of myself, so Thank you so so much!

Here is a long one, I got on a roll and could not find a stopping point in Maura's answer. hope it makes up for the wait. A lot has gone into this one.

Chapter 21:

The next morning came quickly for Maura and Jane, they found themselves running a bit late. They made it with only 2 minutes to spare. They were already situated on the couch when Dr. Simm's came in and greeted them.

"Good morning ladies, I see you are all set, so lets get started. I know I gave you both homework, but before we get into that, I would like to respond a bit more on yesterdays session."

Maura and Jane both said okay.

"I was thinking over what you said about wondering what it would have been like if you had not been adopted. That is a fair question. I have had many patients who were adopted that struggled in life, because they couldn't get over the lack of connection with their mothers. It was as if a part of them was never able to develop. I believe that is what you are feeling, experiencing. Their is a biological sequence that a child goes through with a natural Mother. The roots lie deep within the area of personality, where the psychological and physiological are merged. Studies have shown that this Biological Mother and Child relationship that develops so soon after birth, cannot be replaced by even the best substitute mothers. Not only did you not have this with your natural mother, but you also did not have a nurturing relationship with either of your adoptive parents. When you found out you were adopted, it was not done in a loving matter, so you felt a disconnect, a loss of identity. My guess is that you felt like you no longer belonged. You felt empty. I already know you had difficulty making friends, being close to people. At the time when your parents brought you in though, we for some reason never approached those problems from the fact that you were adopted. I believe I failed you back then by not delving more into your origins. I read through the initial paperwork from your parents, and it was not listed as your being adopted. They basically stated that your anxiety had began to develop with added pressures from school. I know I was able to help you with your problem and you were able to control your anxiety attacks, but we never took it to the root of the problem.

Like you said yesterday, you are 36 years old and feel like this should not be an issue. I believe that the fact that you were adopted, and the fact that your parents were the way they were, is not an issue. I believe that you have come to terms with all of that. However I think the emotional damage that affected you from back then, added to all of the emotional drama that has been added on since then, is what is causing you to have these current problems.

So with all of that being said lets move on to your assignments. Maura we will start with you.

If I had answered your question yesterday, I would have said it was the day I found out I had a half brother...The day I found out my biological father was a mob boss... The day that half brother I never knew, died for being his fathers son. Yes, that day was a catalyst for stirring up a need within me to find out who I really am. It resparked an interest in finding out who my biological mother was. I had always felt a need to feel connected, and here was a new chance that had been laid in my lap.

However, after spending yesterday thinking this through, I realized that there have been three other instances that occurred in the past 8 yrs. Situations in which brought thoughts and feelings about my true parentage to the forefront.  
The first was when I had to decide whether to remain a neurosurgeon, or not. I knew I was very good at my job, and I was not the type of surgeon to develop the God complex. I knew that I was not going to be able to save every person that was brought before me. I gave 150% to each case, but sometimes patients had just too much damage. I went home at night feeling perfectly fine whether a surgery was successful or not. I never felt the weight from losing a patient, I never gave it a second thought. That was until the case of Charlotte Rosen. I will never forget her name or her face. She is the real reason I am no longer a neurosurgeon. She was 10 years old, brought to me when her family doctor diagnosed her with Moyamoya Disease. It is quite rare and life threatening. The blood flow to her brain was compromised, blood clots were forming and she needed immediate surgery. I told them I would do my best to help their daughter. When we got in there, it was a mess. Both sides of the brain had been affected. It was obvious that this child had been sick for quite some time. Her brain had tried to compensate for the reduction in blood flow, creating these offshoots of smaller blood vessels. All of which were being squeezed off. As we were repairing the right side of her brain, she had a series of multiple Ischemic strokes. It was all due to the blockages within her brain. We administered the proper drugs, but the damage was already done. The stroke had occurred in her brain stem. It left her in a locked-in state. Charlotte would no longer speak nor feel anything from the neck down. It was when I went to speak to the family that my failings as a doctor came to light. I found that instead of being sympathetic to them, as I should have been. I became accusatory instead. I didn't even know who these people were, I didn't know what kind of relationship they had with their daughter. Instead I looked at what I knew from her disease. I believed her to be mistreated for lack of a quicker diagnosis. I felt that if she had been brought to me sooner, she would have been fine. I looked upon her parents as if they had been my own. I told them that if they hadn't been so wrapped up in themselves, and had taken the time to look at their daughter, to see that she was in pain. That she would have been a healthy 10 year old girl still... Needless to say I was brought before the Chief of Staff and Hospital President, that was when I learned that the parents had both took leave of absences from their jobs from the moment they knew something was wrong with their daughter. I also learned that they had her to 5 different doctors over the course of 3 months, all of whom could not diagnose her. That day I was given a choice to either become their Chief Pathologist, so that I was no longer in the position of talking with families, or else resign.

That day I realized that their were parents out there that put there children first. That took the time to be there for them. I had wished my parents had been there for me, when I had needed them. Instead they had sent the butler or the nanny, sometimes even the cook. Never them, I was never important enough. I cried for the first time that night over a patient, and her family. I took the cowards way out, and sent them a letter of apology, and donated money to help with the care of Charlotte. So that night when I was at home, all I could think about, was what if I had been raised by different parents, what if I had my real ones. It wasn't until I threw myself into my new job, that little by little I let those thoughts go again.

However the second instance came almost right after I was ready to move on, apparently it finally got back to my parents about the incident with Charlotte's parents. Because of my employment at the hospital, my parents felt the need to be a top monetary donor for them. They were not happy that I allowed myself to fail at such a prestigious position. They made their disappointment in me very known, especially when they summoned me back to Boston. It was with the pretense that I run the Isles Foundation for them, they said they were going to be returning to NYC, and that they would only intrust it to me. I told them that I would need time to think about it and that I would call them the next day. That night I thought about my relationship with them. About how all I had ever done was try to make them proud. How maybe if I would just do the right thing, whatever that was, they would tell me that they were pleased with my accomplishments, that they loved me. So I decided to give Boston a go, I packed up my belongings and had them shipped. I then went to the President of the Hospital with my resignation. That was when I found out that my parents already informed him of my resignation, along with their personal apology for my actions. I was shocked and embarrassed. Who the hell did they think they were. Here I was a 26 years old, and they thought they could treat me and my life like that. Once again not thinking how those actions would effect me. I had already sent my stuff to Boston, and I was already in the process of purchasing my home. So I had no choice but to go to Boston. When I got there I looked into job openings, and that is when I came across the opening at the BPD. I sent in an application along with a letter to the Governor. The letter was to ensure that he did not mention my actions to my parents, who were good friends of his. When I met him for my interview, I made it well known to him that I wanted him to judge me on my academics, work history and ethics, Not my name. He seemed to be impressed by this, he said that he would do that, along with assuring me that he would not mention anything to my parents. Two days later I received a call to meet him. I was offered the Chief Medical Examiners Job, I would work under Dr. Tierney, until his retirement 2 months later, giving me that time to be acclimated into the job. That night I made reservations at my parents favorite restaurant and invited them under the pretense of discussing the Isles Foundation. I informed them that I would only be able to give a small amount of time to the foundation, that I had accepted a job offer. When they heard what I would be doing they were appalled. They could not understand how I would want to do such a job. They said no daughter of theirs would do such a morbid job. I became enraged, and for once stuck up for myself. I told them that was because I was not their daughter, that my true blood must make me morbid, because I was looking forward to giving answers for those that could no longer speak. My father got up from the table that night and walked out on me. I have not spoken but a few words to him since then. My mother soon followed after him, she had wished me well and said she would be in touch. Up until her accident, we only spoke a few times. I found myself alone as usual, and soon was to be rewarded with the title, Queen of the Dead.

That takes us to the third instance. A few months into working at BPD, I ran into this detective who from the first moment we looked at each other, it was like we had been these long lost friends. I can't explain it, it was the first time in my life that I felt this connection to anyone. I had never had close friends, I would call the people I knew more of an acquaintance than friend really. So to feel this connection with an absolute stranger was very odd to me. In those few moments I felt my life beginning to look up. Her smile was so infectious, and even though I did not understand her sarcasm or her pop culture references, I was intrigued. I found myself laughing. That was something that I had not done a lot of in my life and it felt wonderful. Work had become more than just work. I looked forward to being able to work with her, to see her interact with her partners and other officers and workers at the precinct. Eventually I started to feel like I was a part of the team, because Jane accepted me and all my quirks, my social oddness, the others seemed to be more accepting as well. There were still those that called me names and talked about me behind my back, but Jane or some of the other guys were right there to put them in their place. (Maura took a short break to drink some water)

Eventually our work friendship became an out of work one as well. I found myself being excepted into the Rizzoli family as an honorary member. For the first time I was given a taste at what it meant to be a family. I got a chance to experience what holidays were supposed to be like. They began to have meaning for me as well. Jane even took me trick or treating when she found out that I never had gone out and dressed up as a child. Angela had become like a surrogate mom to me over time, Frankie and Tommy are the brothers that I never had. Jane was, God Jane was so much more. I had fallen for her really hard, but I never thought she would see me as more than a friend or like a sister. So I kept those feelings close to my heart, because I couldn't lose her or her family from life. I had almost lost her several times already, a man by the name of Hoyt went after her 3 times before she finally killed him, and an incident where she shot herself to save her brother. All of that was very traumatic to me, I never fully explained to Jane how it affected me, because I feared that I would reveal my true feelings for her.

Anyways the realization that I had missed out on so much, and wondering how my life would have turned out if I had been raised like Jane. In the middle of all this is when I discovered Doyle and Colin.

Jane was there for me, but she never truly grasped how the quest for my biological mother was so important to me. She couldn't relate to how my upbringing caused me so much pain. Jane wasn't a fan of her "helicopter mom", where I found Angela's concern for her children to be endearing. It is hard for someone to understand a loss that they never experienced. Every time she referred to by true father as a sperm donor it felt like she was demeaning me. Here was a connection that a part of me wanted to explore. I could get answers, I thought I could find my real mom. I could not help who he was, but he was a part of me. So when she shot my biological father, I reacted very badly. In that moment, the moment he fell 10 feet to what I thought could only be his death, I saw that connection being severed. I would never get a chance to find my real mother, he held all the truths to my life in his head.(Maura had began to cry softly at this memory, she also had moved herself away from Jane. She was currently standing and looking out the window as she continued)

My obsession with my past almost caused me to lose the family that had become my own. I hated myself in those few minutes, as my head spewed out so much hatred to the only person who had been true to me, who had shown me so much love. Who had given me a true family, one that should have been enough for life. I owed her so much and I was destroying it all in matter of minutes.

I did find out that Doyle had told my biological mother that I had died, I even went to my grave. The grave for Maura Doyle, it was very unnerving. I realized as I was kneeling there, that maybe she would have kept me. She had not been apart of the deceit. I had a name, Hope. So I pursued her identity with everything I had. When I found out who she was though, and discovered that she had a family, a daughter. I realized that I was being selfish. So I let it go. It wasn't until after Jane and I had eventually made up, that I gave it a second thought. Jane became my cheerleader in establishing contact. I only did so when a case required her expertise with a corpse. When I first saw her, and heard her speak, it was like looking in a mirror. This woman was spewing out facts about something as trivial as wooden coffee stirrers. We became close quite quickly as colleagues only. She had shared stories of her life with me, including how hard the death of her first child was on her. So I again chose to refrain from telling her. Her daughter Cailyn was sick and needed a kidney, I found out I was a match and put in to anonymously donate mine. Eventually her daughter researched my name and figured out who I was and confronted me, said she didn't want any part of me in her. Then Hope came looking for her daughter and I found myself revealing who I was. It was not the loving moment that I had come to dream of. She accused me of lying and wanting something from her, then she left and walked out of my life. (Maura wipes her face and heads back to sit down, having composed herself, but does not sit next to Jane, which does not go unnoticed by Dr. Simm's)

It took her 2 months before she tried to contact me. She sent emails and phone messages trying to make contact, but I refused to answer. Then she showed up at the Morgue. It was not a visit to really apologize, it was more of a "I am sorry I reacted badly, my other daughter needs your kidney are you still willing to give it to her". I lost it, I found something in me and told her how I felt to be cast aside like I was nothing. Damn-it, I was her daughter too. It was not my fault that I was taken away. So after getting everything off of my chest, I told her to leave. Then a tragedy occurred and we almost lost Jane's brother, nephew and partner. It made me realize how losing a loved one could cause another family member to be willing to do what ever it took to save them. I knew then that I could not let my feelings towards Hope, stop me from saving a life. Cailyn was innocent in all of this, and I needed to help her. So I told Hope that I would still donate my kidney, but only of she promised that Cailyn would never learn that it came from me. That is the end of the story. It has been 6 months and I have not heard from her. She used me for what she needed, and I guess I will always remain dead to her."

Maura seems angry all of a sudden, she begins to shake her head and as she stands up she says,

"As I sat here going through this journey with you, I find that I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. Thank you for your time Dr. Simms, but I just realized that none of this is important. It is not healthy to rehash this stuff. I can't, it is too painful. I forgive, and I will forget. Jane I need time to myself, I will see you later back at home."

Jane had stood, she tried to reach out for Maura, but she was gone, and Dr. Simms told her to let her go.

"Jane give her time to herself, she will come find you when she needs to. She just processed so much. Too much. I did not realize what she had all been through. The magnitude of it all is shocking. The only constant in her life has been you and your family, but even that was shaken to its core. She almost lost that. I think you both still have issues to confront. Once she can feel like her once stable life with the Rizzoli's is back to really being secure, that is when she can begin to heal. Does she have any kind of relationship with her adoptive parents these days?"

Jane was trying to wrap her head around what just happened. She really wanted to run after Maura. She feared another breakdown, but Dr. Simms seemed to think she was going to be okay. So Jane took a deep breath and finally answered her, "Constance has really been trying to fix the mistakes she made. They talk more than they had, but still its not as close as it should be, Look I can't just sit here, I need to go. I will make sure we are here tomorrow."

"No Jane, let Maura decide to come back, she needs a break. Take her somewhere, spend time together talking. If it takes a day fine, if it takes a week , that is fine too. It is important though, that she is the one who is ready to come back."

"Thank you doctor" Jane said as she headed out to locate Maura.


	22. Chapter 22: A New Found Strength

Chap 22: A New Found Strength

Jane ran out of the elevator and into the lobby. As she hit the doors to the outside, she was already in full panic mode. She needed to find Maura, but how. When she turned to walk along the path, which would take her in the direction of their apartment, she suddenly stopped in front of a bench. There she was, Maura was just sitting and watching her. Then she heard her, "I told you I was never going to run again. I meant it. I wasn't running from you back there, I just needed air. I realized so much when I brought all of that back up. It was like reliving it through someone else's eyes. I was able to make sense out most of it, but I know I have some things that are in need of talking out. I have questions that I need answers to. However, I will not get them up their. I am a doctor, and I know where Dr. Simm's was going with this. I don't believe that I need to dissect each and every moment in my life to become whole again. I did so much of that years ago. I think a part of my brain reverted back to all of the flotsam that is floating around up there... I think my subconscious was trying to mask what is really the issue... I allowed myself to dwell on all of the hurt that I have experienced in my life, and I was beginning to revert back to that person I once was. My mind was going to chalk it up as unresolved issues... with my adoption,... with my parents, ….with my career,...with the discovery of my biological parents,...with you. The thing is though...I realized up there when I touched on certain events that...all of my pain...all of my thoughts on belonging,... all of my worries,...all of who I had become... They are not from my past at all... I did make peace with all of that. The moment I stood up to my parents back in Boston,... the moment I finally chose my own path...That was when I was at my strongest... When we first met, I was a force to be reckoned with. I was emotionally sound... When I was called Queen of the Dead,... I was actually somewhat proud. I know you felt the need to protect me from it, but back then my shoulders were strong, I could take it...

I was happy with my life. I had found true friendship for the first time in my life. I was part of a team.

Look back Jane, think about who I was then... Now look at who I have become...just in the past 2 yrs, I have allowed myself to crumble... Well no more!...I don't like this person, I don't like being weak...I don't like losing control... I want the strong...confident... Maura back. I need to stand up for myself,... I cannot allow to lose myself anymore... What I need to know from you, is this.

When you say you love me, who is it you fell in love with. The weak, emotionally challenged Maura. The one you felt the need to protect...or did you fall in love with the Maura that you first befriended? The one who was strong enough to stand at your side against Hoyt? The one who promised to always have your back... And you need to know, that when I say I am in love with you. I am in love with the Jane that I first met, the strong one, the protector,...the one who doesn't take crap from anyone...The one who is willing to go to the end of the earth for what is right... The one who would never intentionally hurt those that she love... The one who doesn't hide behind her sarcasm.

Two years ago the Jane I fell in love with would have never done what you did... The Jane I fell in love with believed in me, even if I didn't believe in myself... I do not love the Jane you have become. I know now that the change happened the moment you shot Doyle... Even though we apologized, even though it may appear to us and others that we got closer after that...I think that was when we actually started to drift apart, when our friendship became less important to you. That is when you became less patient with me. That is when your sarcasm towards me, changed from a ha ha funny, to a personal attack against me. Before the warehouse, when you said I was a part of your family. I believed it. After the warehouse,.. after your explanation of Blood and Water... After your apology for it... You went out of your way to point out that they were your family... You no longer wanted me to be included..….Unless of course it worked to your advantage that is... Do you know how I felt when you would come over in the morning after a night that Angela had been watching T.J and take him from my arms, and say, "Hey Ma, why you making Maura take care of my nephew? I'm sure she has better things do to than take on another Rizzoli"...I'm sorry Jane I can't keep going on with this, I think I have made my point. I am tired and hungry and believe it or not tired of talking. I know you keep wanting to say something and I appreciate you not interrupting. I just need for you to think about what I said, I mean really think about it. Then think back to the way we were.

I allowed myself to forgive you too quickly, not that I don't want to. But when I heard you say that you were in love with me, I got caught up in the excitement of it. I finally heard the words that I had always dreamed of. Then I let myself think we could just move on. I agreed to forget and start fresh. I want that, I want to start fresh. I believe with all of my mind, body and soul, that you love me and I love you. However, I need to figure out how to trust you again. I need to find true forgiveness for what transpired. It still hurts Jane. I need to know that we can be our true selves again. Because if we can't, then it doesn't matter how much we love each other, this will never work out between us. It would be better to be friends, than more."

Maura watched all the emotions that were in Jane's eyes and facial expressions, throughout her declaration. She knew Jane was afraid, upset, sad...she knew she had to give something more, she needed to assure of something, so she said," Jane, let us go back to the apartment. I think we both could use some rest and some nourishment. I need you to know that I do need you, I just needed you to hear where I am at. We need to work on a lot of things. I also am not naive in thinking that this is a one sided issue. You didn't just change over night. I want to hear you out, I want you to be truthful with me, as I have been with you. I will not run, I will not judge. For once be completely honest with me. However, we rest and eat first. Then this afternoon is all yours"

Maura stood up, reached out and rubbed the tears from Jane's cheeks. Then she leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead, then her cheek. When Maura pulled back she intertwined her fingers in Jane's and led them home.

A/N: Well Maura has finally figured it out. She is back to being the strong Maura we met in Season 1, not the crying, dumb genius that they made her into. Will Jane go back to her Season 1 persona, or will she decide that she likes her over the top, always looking for a joke, high-schoolish character that came to be in season 3. Therapy is not over, but Maura and Jane need time to work things out. Maura just had a major transformation. Its time for Jane to finally have hers. Let me know what you think!


	23. Chapter 23: Jane Tells All

A/N: To the guest reviewer who has questioned about my use of Leeds. The reason is I traced part of my family tree there. It is a place where I would love to visit someday. My Great Great Grandma was born in Leeds, when she was 12 the family moved to Ireland. She would later meet and Marry my Great Great Grandfather from Cork, Ireland. I have always felt a strong connection to my roots, a desire to know just who and where I came from.

Thank you again for the amazing reviews! You all are fantastic!

Get comfortable this is a long one.

Chapter 23: Jane Tells All

Jane and Maura walked back in silence. Maura was actually feeling very alive. She was proud of herself. It had been too long since she felt this strong and sure. She had no self doubt with her direction now. She knew what she wanted, now she just needed to see what Jane wanted.

Jane was processing and reprocessing everything Maura had said. Then she let her mind go back and see things through her own eyes. Before she knew it they were back at the apartment. Maura said she was going to go freshen up and change, and asked Jane to take out the salmon from the freezer. Jane was still lost in thought when Maura entered the kitchen a few minutes later, dressed in yoga pants and a tank top. Maura realized that Jane had not moved from the spot she had been in when she left her. So without startling her, she quietly laid her hand on her shoulder and said, "Jane, why don't you go freshen up and change now, I will get things set in here, then I will meet you in the bedroom. I really need to rest a bit, and I think it would be good for you as well. Jane blinked and nodded her head in understanding, then left the room. Once Maura had pulled out the salmon from the freezer, she put it into a milk bath to defrost, then placed it into the fridge. She then grabbed 2 sweet potatoes, washed them and wrapped them up in foil. She would bake them on low, so that when they got up, they would be ready to go.

When Maura arrived at the doorway to the bedroom, she found Jane trying to lay down on the sofa. It was a ridiculous site, Jane was trying to curl her long legs up onto it as she laid on her side, but failing. Finally, Jane flipped on her back and hung her legs over the armrest. Maura, who found herself smirking at this, cleared her voice and said, "If you find yourself no longer comfortable sharing a bed with me, then might I suggest that I take the sofa and you can have the bed." Jane looked over at Maura and noticed her look and wondered what the hell was so funny, and said "I didn't know if you wanted me in there with you. I am still a bit confused. You really need your rest and I didn't want to make it awkward." Maura was really trying not to full out laugh, but Jane looked like Will Ferrell in Elf, when he was laying on Papa Elf's couch. Then she remembered the first time that Jane had her watch that movie, and that was it, she let out a full hearty laugh. Jane was not happy at this at all, why was she laughing at her. So Jane attempted to get up, got tangled in the covers and ended up falling on the floor. Maura quickly composed herself and went over to help Jane up. "Jane are you alright?, give me your hand and let me help you up. I am sorry I was laughing, but when I saw you struggling to lay on this sofa, all I could think of was, well ELF." Jane took a second to think that over, then a smile came upon her face, she understood. Then a thought came to her, as she reached out her hand to Maura. Maura went to pull her up, but Jane used her strength, to Maura's surprise and pulled her down onto the ground. They were both laughing now, and it felt good to be totally at ease again. After a few minutes, Maura said, "I never said I didn't want you in our bed, in fact if had been paying attention earlier, I said that I needed you. I guess maybe I need to make myself more clear. You still are my best friend. That means we still do best friend stuff. It is the more part that we need to work on. I am willing, but you need to do your soul searching, you still need to talk to me. So can we please get up and sleep already. Then food, then you have some talking to do, or not. It's up to you."

Jane felt stupid, Maura did say that. She even held her hand the whole way home, but she had been too busy feeling worthless again that she let herself get carried away and went a bit overboard. So she just said, "Sorry, I guess I overreacted and allowed myself to be stupid once again. Come on lets go lay down."

Jane couldn't sleep though, she just laid there watching Maura rest so easily. Jane allowed herself to go back to the first day she met Maura and journey through to the present. It wasn't long before she found herself sleeping as well. When she finally awoke 2 hours later, Maura was still asleep. Jane decided she would take a shower and then surprise Maura by fixing lunch. By the time Maura awoke, showered and made her way into the living area, Jane had prepared the Salmon, and a salad and was removing the sweet potatoes from the oven. They ate their lunch in relative silence, Maura could sense that Jane was nervous, and just let her be with her own thoughts. When it was time to clean up, Jane said" I was thinking that we could go somewhere this afternoon. I would feel more comfortable if we weren't cooped up here. Do you happen to know of maybe a park in the area where we could either walk or sit outside?" Maura knew this was going to be hard for Jane, she was not one to share feelings openly. So she thought about it and said, I know the perfect place. We can even get ice cream there if you'd like."

Jane smiled at that, and then finished cleaning up their dishes.

It only took about 20 minutes to get to Golden Acre Park. They began walking along a path hand in hand, after a few minutes of Jane getting her thoughts together, she began.

"Maura I need you to know that I have really been thinking everything through. Not only what you have said this past week, but also what we have been through since meeting. You are too important to me, and I want us to work. I know we will always have our friendship, because without you I am lost. I want a life with you, one that is beyond friendship...Their is no doubt what so ever in my mind...

I want that dream wedding,... I want that family,...but only with you. You need to believe that. … (Jane found a bench in a secluded area and they sat)

When we first met I was in awe of you, I still am. What I saw was this very put together, accomplished, overly intelligent woman. You could have done anything with your life,... hell you could have just lived your life doing nothing with all your money... Yet, you didn't. …. I know a lot of people were put off by you, they thought you were a snob because you always wore expensive clothes, drove a Mercedes, and lived in Beacon Hill... Then there were those that found you extremely odd, you would often speak about things nobody understood, you'd give out random facts that nobody cared about. …..But when I looked at you, what I saw was endearing... Yes, I will admit that I was intimidated by you at first, I was not used to being around people from, well your class. I was a blue collar worker and well I never imagined that a person like you would give a care for someone like me.

I also knew though that we needed to get along for work, so I made an effort, and I am so glad that I did, because what I realized was that... minus the clothes, car and money. You were one of us. You never made us feel that you were better than us, we were your equals... I found myself wanting to know more about you,... you were a mystery that I wanted to solve... I didn't have many girlfriends growing up, I was always in the boys club, I never felt the need for female bonding... My mother was enough female in my life to handle... But you, you swept me up in something and the next thing I knew, I couldn't get enough of you. Then when I learned of your upbringing, …..I just wanted to wrap you up in my arms and never let go. From that moment on I wanted to make sure you got to experience everything that I felt you missed out on... I'm sure you remember though, that I did have my moment of doubt about you. The first time I saw a glimpse of you in your other world, your high class world. I know we came to terms with it, and you told me then that you had my back, and I believed you... but, I never let that go from my mind, the knowing that you were really different from me. I began to build a wall I think then, a small one, but yet it began construction in my mind that day. Then life went on and we became even closer friends. You saved me from my fears of Hoyt, you never judged me and always no matter when I needed you, you were there. You were such a good friend that you even began to just look at me and know what I needed without me asking, and you were there to hold me, and assure me that things would be okay.

In the midst of all of this, you found out who your biological father was, and well yes when you were taken I had my major panic moment. I was mad that I allowed you to be taken,... I should have known better and had someone with you. Especially when we knew you could be in danger. Then all I could think of was how I didn't want to lose you from my life, because you meant so much to me, that was the first time that I realized that you had become apart of my family, that I would always need you. After I shot myself, I felt a bit like we lost some of the momentum we had though. It was like you suddenly distanced yourself from me for those 4 months that I had to recuperate. Then when my parents announced their divorce, you were right there again picking up the pieces... Then when she found out that she was losing our childhood home, you came to the rescue yet again. I will admit that even though I was thankful that she was taken care of, I was also a bit ashamed that my brother and I weren't the ones to help her... I felt guilty for along time... Frankie or I should have gotten a bigger apartment and had her move in with one of us... She was our mother... Then once again that little thing in my head that does not handle the fact that you have money came to the forefront and like jealous ugly monsters are,... I started to feel like you were somehow replacing me with my mom. You were the successful, thoughtful and rich daughter, that I was not... She shared family recipes with you, she went shopping and to the spa with you...I know I always complained and said I didn't want to go. But here you were, able to make my mother happy... and there she was rubbing in my face how I should be more like you...I know you weren't doing these things for malicious reasons, that it was just you being you. It was just this thing in me, that I can't seem to shake no matter how many times I try. I talk to that thing, but it just keeps telling me that I am just not good enough for you...

I knew for sometime that I loved you, but my fears of coming out always kept that at bay. However it didn't mean that I didn't think about it. I watched who you dated. Except for wanting to sleep with Giovanni,... God that still makes my stomach turn... They were always white class, successful men. At first I never thought that you were anything but straight, but over time with all the flirting and touching, suggestive talk and so on, I realized that maybe, just maybe you could feel the same way... But then who you were, the money, and lifestyle that you are accustomed to... I knew that I could never give you that life, not to mention I never felt comfortable in it,... I knew where I belonged,...

I knew you would always deserve so much more than me... So I decided that I never had the chance and that I would just have to be happy with the way things were... Casey eventually came into the picture again and I found myself wanting to escape the thoughts of you, and I started to throw myself at him, like a teenager no less. At the time I couldn't see how I was acting, I was just trying to stop the ache. Then you go and tell me that I deserve better,... that just pissed me off even more. So yes, I was bitchy towards you,... yes I was mean and somewhat of a bully. I wanted to knock you down...

I mean how dare you stand there and tell me who deserves me. I should deserve you, but you are Dr. Maura Isles, sexy little miss no it all, that dates money-men. So I built a bigger wall out of me being stupid again, I knew better. I knew you cared about me, that you never once intentionally hurt me, But my mind has this way of mucking things up and I kept self consciously making myself feel better, by picking on you. I could see it, I could see the hurt, but I couldn't stop. I was actually proud of myself. Then one night when I was drinking alone and wallowing in my own self pity, over not being good enough for anybody, (you were on a date with some pompous jerk as usual),I realized that you actually don't even really date. I don't think you ever once told me that you wanted to settle down in a relationship, all you have wanted since I met you is someone to have sex with, someone to use for your own pleasure. So then I started to feel better. Because if you never did settle down, and I never settled down, then we could be together as we were, best friends who had wonderful sleep overs where I could cuddle to my hearts content. I decided I would take as much as you would offer, and that I could be okay with that. I would never have to come out to my Ma, and I still would have you. Then that horrible day came, when your mom got hit by the car and the realization that it should have been you hit me so bad, that I needed to feel something. All of the thoughts of what I would do if I ever lost you came back and I ran into the arms of that jerk, just so I could feel. It was so selfish of me, and I got fucked in more ways than one. Not only was the sex lousy and I felt so guilty. But I betrayed you that night. When I came to see you in the hospital and told you, I could see the disappointment written all over your face. You looked completely shocked at what I did. It was in that moment that things really began to change for us. Then when I tried to tell you that you would never have to worry about Doyle again, I disregarded you when you said, I'm not sure I am ready to let go. I should have listened to you, I should have been there for you. I just couldn't understand where this new found loyalty to a very bad man came from. I didn't view him as your father, so I couldn't see why you were still holding onto some fantasy where he was a good father for you... I truly did not know that Dean was going to be there that day. I was as shocked as you. I did not call him. He followed me. I was not retaliating against Doyle for shooting Dean, I was protecting the rest of us... you heard him,...he would have shot me... In that moment when you yelled at me to not touch him...when you told me that I was no better than him... All of my fears of what I would lose if I lost you, well they came to me in those few seconds. I knew I destroyed everything that we ever had...but I hated you for it. I felt like you chose him, a mobster over me. Once again I was not good enough... When I found out about the picture and how your adopted mother was somehow linked to Doyle, I wanted to rub your face in it. I wanted you to hurt as much as I was hurting. Then when I listened to the story about how he told your real mom you were dead, …...when I went and saw that grave...I only felt even more guilty at what I had done to you... I almost took away your last chance at finding your real mom. Its like an epiphany hit me and I finally saw what you had wanted, a chance to discover what made you. I think if you had never learned of Doyle, that you would have been fine in life... But once you found out your DNA was shared with a man like him,... I think you needed to find the other link... you needed to find the good in your DNA as well... I know you were able to find good in Doyle as well, he truly does love you and cares about you. He didn't just forget and move on. That says something too...

I never thought we would get back to the way we were... But when I thought I was going to lose you in those woods... When you put your trust in me to cut into your leg...when I had to watch as you passed out when I did cut into it...I thought I was losing all over again, Maura I need you so much, you make me whole and without you my life has no meaning"...(Jane's steady tears, become more now, as they sit on the bench, Maura finally moves to embrace Jane. She is still not going to interrupt her though, she will remain silent, until it is her turn)

Jane Finally gets control and continues, "The hurt that I felt when I thought I lost you as a friend, lost you from my life, was so bad... that I knew when we apologized...that I had to protect myself. So when you started to meddle in the whole Lydia thing, I was upset again and that was when the whole money thing came out again, here you were spending your money on my families problem. I needed to be the one to step forward this time, so I started up with the jab's again, and made sure to reaffirm that they were my family and that you had your own to worry about. Especially once we found Hope and Cailyn. Then just as they entered, they pulled out too, and then I felt guilty for feeling the way I did. I was mad because you are my family and I couldn't wrap my head around what I was doing to you again. So I was there holding you and pulling you back in again, just to have you go out and hook up with Penis Man, You really should be glad that you like Women, cause you always picked losers when it came to men. I'm just sayin...So then I almost lose you to Mr. Psycho, and then we almost lose T.J, Tommy and Frost, and the thought of how life is too short comes to my head,... so I start thinking about what I really want again, …..You, me and a family... But that is not happening, so I decide to replace you with someone that is tangible, and low and behold Casey's surgery is successful. So I jump at the chance, and put everything I have into it. I know you are going to be having your surgery to save Cailyn's life, and I know you are going to be recuperating for awhile. My Ma already said she was going to take care of you when you got out of the hospital, so I hid behind work and dating Casey to distance myself from you. I convinced myself it was for the best. That once I was committed enough and we were married, that I could go back to being friends with you. Well we both know how well that went. I allowed myself to be blind to what was really happening, and subjected you to more hurt...

You really do deserve someone better than me. Someone who is not jealous, someone who can give you the world. I know I love you, I think you could feel how much when we made love. But I Do not know if that is enough... I do not know how to silence the little person in my head that keeps telling me that I am not good enough for you. But if you want to really forgive me, and give me a chance at a life together. I promise to communicate my fears to you, so that we can work on them together. I will take whatever you will give me, but know I want all of you."

Jane was done, she had voiced everything that she could. She revealed what was in her heart and her mind. It was up to Maura now.

Maura was still embracing Jane, they were both crying in each others arms, as the world went on around them.


	24. Chapter 24:Time to Think

A/N: You all are sooooo wonderful! Thank you for all the kind words. My grin is bigger than a Cheshire Cat when I read you reviews. Much love is sent back to all of you.

This is a shorter one, It was a good place to stop. The next chapter is already in the works.

Chapter 24:Taking Time to Think

Maura and Jane finally calmed down and sat quietly while holding each other. Jane was mentally and emotionally wiped out. Maura was thinking about what she heard, she knew Jane was uncomfortable about her money sometimes, but never knew it was to this degree. The jealousy over her relationship with her mother, now that she never saw coming. Maura knew she wanted to be with Jane. She did believe that Jane loved her wholeheartedly, and that they could work on Jane's fears, her feelings of not being able to measure up. So that was Maura's first task at hand, she needed to wipe all doubt from Jane's mind about what was important to her. She would prove to her that Jane was all that mattered.

Maura had a plan, but needed time to get things done. So she needed to get the day rolling. So she said, "Jane, why don't we go get some ice cream. If they have Dark Chocolate, it would be very good for us right now. It would help to increase our serotonin levels, and the phenylethylamine found in chocolate is an amphetamine-like substance, which sends dopamine into the pleasure centers of our brain.(Maura gets close to Jane's ear and whispers seductively to her) Like in other words, orgasm by chocolate."

Jane who has been in a fog, thinking that she had ruined all chances of being with Maura, other than in friendship. Whips her head around at what Maura just whispered to her, and says, "WHAT?" Maura is shocked by Jane's reaction, but quickly realizes that Jane was somewhere far off, and really didn't hear anything she said, except for the word orgasm, and then gets a bit nervous and tries to reply "I, uh, um, well...I was just suggesting we get some ice cream,... some dark chocolate ice cream... because of its beneficial effects on our bodies." Jane's face starts to register a small smile, which then turns into a huge grin, "You never cease to amaze me Maur," Jane and Maura embrace once again, and Maura says, "We can talk more later, I need some time to work some stuff out in my head, but know this. I believe we will be fine, better than fine." Jane just hugs Maura a bit harder, then whispers, "lets go get you an orgasm" They both get up giggling, and walk arm in arm to the ice cream vendor.

The rest of the afternoon was spent exploring the park. Just enjoying being together, they talked about what they wanted to do for dinner. Jane was craving either Pizza or a burger, Maura agreed to that and said she knew of a good bar that served food as well, Coopers. By the time they arrived back into the city of Leeds, and made there way to Coopers, Maura had sent about 5 very long texts, that had Jane's curiosity peaked. Maura had just told Jane that she had some plans that she was working on. They sat down and ordered their food and some drinks. While they waited Maura brought up a part of her plan. "Jane, I was thinking we should go do something fun. I'd like to take you on a date, but that will involve us having to move from our current location. We will come back, to at least have closure with Dr. Simms, I know I owe her an apology, and I need for to her to see for herself that I am going to be okay. That I was able to screw my head back on right." Jane chokes and spits her beer out, at what Maura just said. "That was funny Maur. So where do you want to go?" Maura didn't want to give too much away, but the destination would not give up all of her plans. "I want us to head to Paris. But instead of calling for the Isles Jet, or even taking the train, I would like for us to drive there. It will give you a chance to see other areas of the U.K. and I think a road trip would be good for us." The thought of a road trip with Maura sounded like fun, so Jane asked,"How far is it? And who is doing the driving?", Maura laughed at this. "Well Jane, it is 8 hours to the final destination, however I have a few stops in London to make and that is about 3 ½ hrs from here. I would think that we can both take turns driving, however I would prefer to be the one to drive in London, as I am familiar with the roads as well as where I need to go. Since it is a long trip, I plan on returning our current rental and getting a vehicle that will better suit our trip. Once Dinner is over, I will drop you off at the apartment and you can start packing up our stuff. I am going to go purchase a cooler and see to the rental. I shouldn't be too long. Then we can get some rest, so we can get an early start. How does that sound?"

Jane wondered why Maura wanted to go alone to get handle the rental and cooler, but thought it best to not voice a concern, so she just said, "Okay, Do you want me to pack for you as well? I know how you are about your clothes." "If you want to Jane, that would save us time, I trust you."Maura said to Jane, who now sat there with her mouth open. Jane was surprised, but was happy to be able to help.

Maura had just dropped off Jane and headed to change out the car. When she arrived she traded the car for a Nissan Pathfinder. She thought this would be a good fit for her plans. Then she was off to Asda, a store very similar to a Target, where she bought a cooler, a new suitcase, and some items to fill the new case, as well as drinks for the cooler. By the time Maura got back, Jane had finished packing.

"Hey Maura, I left out a change of clothes for you, otherwise everything else is done. I wasn't sure what to do about the food in the fridge though? Are we eventually coming back here, or are we checking out? I wasn't sure how renting of these hotel apartment things work." Maura, who had just walked over to the kitchen, said" I rented this out for the month. So yes, we will be back before then. The items in the freezer will be fine until we return, and well the fridge mainly has salad items, milk and juice. We can put that into the cooler and take it with us. We will just need to get ice in the morning." Now lets go get some rest, I would like to be on the road by 5 am. Jane followed Maura into the bedroom, she was still a bit nervous. Maura had yet to respond to what she told her. She would just have to wait and see.


	25. Chapter 25: Thoughts and Plans

A/N: Another longer one, it is the setup to a spectacular evening.

I decided to post this evening, cannot guarantee a post tomorrow, but will try. Working on Protect My Family right now.

Chapter 25: Thoughts and Plans

By 4:40 am they were heading down to the car. When Jane saw the pathfinder, she was surprised that Maura picked an SUV, and that it was not a Mercedes, BMW, or even a Lexus. She also noticed that their was a suitcase already in the back, "Hey Maur, what's with the suitcase? Is there a new line out in Paris?" Jane chuckled out. "I picked up some casual outfits last night, I thought they would come in handy for my plans. Now lets go get that ice and head out. I need to meet with someone in London at 9am and you know I like to be punctual.

Jane started out in the Drivers seat, they decided they would switch out every 2 hours, that way they could stretch their legs as well. Maura had gone on about not wanting to develop Deep Vein Thrombosis, who was Jane to argue. Once they were out of town and driving a steady pace, Maura spoke up, "I know you expressed a lot yesterday and I wanted to address one of the issues that you mentioned. I want to apologize to you for not speaking with you before offering your mother my guest house. At the time, I didn't really give any thought to how it may have made you or Frankie feel. I just knew that I had this extra space, that one was using. I was always kidding myself to think that my parents would ever use it, so I was just trying to help out. I didn't mean to overstep my bounds. I also thought that the way you always voiced your frustration at Angela, being too involved in your life, that it would be a win win. Then over time I must say it was nice to know someone was living there. My house for the first time was like a home. You came by more often, I saw Frankie more out of work. For the first time in my life I felt like I had a real family. I was thankful for that, so when Angela and I went shopping, or spa days, and even to plays and such, it was more of me paying her back for being so nice to me. Yes she gave me family recipes, but its because she said I displayed an interest, and she was glad that she could pass them on to someone who would take the time to master them. That was why she liked shopping with me, because I did not complain. I am sorry you were jealous and I wish at the time you had said something. I would have backed off, I would have encouraged her to include you more, I guess I misread your attitude. So I will make sure that in the future you will be included in everything, and if for some reason you want to back out, you can do so. How does that sound?"

Jane felt bad and replied "Okay when you say it I feel like an ass. I love that you and my mom get along, I love that she sees you as a daughter. I guess I just feel insecure sometimes, and second guess myself as her daughter. I never meant for you to take it as you did something wrong, well except for talking over the house thing. I am sure if you explained it like you just did, then I would have probably agreed. I know having her there, has been really good for you. So I am happy that it all worked out, and I know that she is probably hoping that she can come back when we go home., that is if you didn't sell the place"

Maura smiled and said," No, I did not sell the house. However, I have been thinking of selling it. If we are to move forward, I think it would be best if we pick a neighborhood that we both feel comfortable in. Yes, I like my home, but I can also very easily compromise on another neighborhood. As long as it is safe that is what matters. I think you forget that I lived in tents in Africa for awhile. No running water, dirt and dust, cots instead of $15,000 mattresses. Yes, I grew up with money Jane, but it does not define me. The only luxury that I have always assured myself is nice clothes. So the house must also have ample closet space."

Jane laughed at this, "So wait, you want to move in together when we get back, and we are going to go house shopping together?'

Maura took a deep breath and thought a minute before answering, "I am hopeful that we will work things out. Like I said I am committed to being in a relationship with you. I am very much in love with you, minus the hurtful sarcasm. I do not live in a fantasy world, I know we will have disagreements, and things will not always be chocolates and roses. So, if you are committed to me as well, then yes I want us to begin our life together. I hope that by the end of our time in Paris, all of your doubts about being good enough for me, will be a thing of the past. So when we head back to Leeds, and if you convinced, then yes, we will be going online and shopping for a house, but there is one more stipulation. When I sell my old house, you will overlook my money for one last time, and allow me to buy your mom a house, close to where we will be buying ours. Otherwise, I will not sell my house, and I will allow Angela to live in the main house and Tommy, Lydia and T.J. will live in the guesthouse."

Jane smiled, "First of all its bed of roses, or box of chocolates, not chocolates and Roses. But I guess you got them both covered, so we can let that slide. Yes, I am committed. I told you I would work on my insecurities. If you think you can take all my doubts away, then have at it. I just know that I do not doubt my love for you. As for the house, I think it would be good for us to have a place that is ours. I think that if were to move into your house, it would always be that to me. I would want to split the expense with you as well."

Maura could tell that she was making all the right choices now, she could see it in Jane's response. Her plan was going to work, but she did have to correct one thing Jane said. "Jane, I am not splitting any expenses with you, however, I will share them with you. In a relationship, you share things. I believe the saying is, What is mine is yours, and what is yours is mine, so where as I will be stuck with having that fighting dummy somewhere in the house, you in turn are stuck with my coffee maker."Maura said with biggest smirk on her face. Jane looked over at her and swatted her arm, "I will have my own coffee maker, and when you are still brewing your coffee porn, I will be on my second cup. I also think you should appreciate that dummy, it gives me this body you love so much." Maura was in a full out laugh now, this felt so good, it was becoming so easy again. When she calmed down she replied, "Well if OUR other coffee pot is ready, I will share that coffee with you, while OUR other coffee pot is brewing. If that dummy is the reason for all of that, (Maura points her finger up and down Jane's Body), then he can go anywhere in the house you would like." They were both laughing now, and kept up this banter for sometime.

When they were just outside of Luton, Jane was going to stop and let Maura drive, she had gone over her 2hr limit, but Maura said she was actually getting hungry and needed some coffee. So she suggested that they go just a bit further, and stop at the Breakfast Club in Saint Albans. By the time they arrived, it was just a little before 8am, they decided to order bagels and coffee to go, so that way they would make Maura's appointment at 9am. The Drive into London went rather quietly, once Jane finished her breakfast, she took a nap. So when the momentum of the car slowed and then stopped, Jane was startled awake. It took a few minutes for Jane to get her bearings straight, and once she did she saw that she was in a parking garage. "We need to hop bus to get where we are going, this is the car park that my parents rent out. I will have you get off at the Starbucks, which not too far from here, then I will go onto my meeting. I should not be gone anymore then an hour, that includes travel time." Jane shook her head and said,"Coffee is always good, If I get bored, I might wander around. So give me a call when you are on your way back." Maura told her that would work out great, and gave Jane a chaste kiss before, pulling her along to the bus stop.

Once Jane got off at Starbucks, Maura continued on to her destination, The Bank of England. She was to meet with her Financial Planner, she had some changes to make to her accounts and investments. This was the bank that she used for her Isles Money. The money she made from her employment, was handled separately in Boston. She wanted to get this done quickly, and get back to Jane. She decided that they would stay and sight see for a while, she knew Jane had never been here, so it would be nice to see the city through Jane's eyes.

Jane decided that she didn't want to sit around Starbucks by herself, so once she had her coffee, she headed out to explore. She first found herself at a store named Marks and Spencer. She decided that she should start to spend some of that money Constance gave her. She would have to get used to being around it now, so what better way, than to spend it on Maura. By the time she left the store, she had bought Maura a new dress and well for both of them, she bought Maura some sexy new lingerie. She knew they were still going slow, but she had a feeling they would be back to making love in no time, or so she hoped. Jane had not heard from Maura yet, so she continued to walk the block. She noticed an English Pub and stopped to browse the menu, by the time she was done, her mouth was watering. Another block down brought her outside a florist and jewelers. Jane knew what she wanted to do, it was what she had planned when they first spoke of Paris, so in she went.

The meeting was taking much longer than Maura had hoped for, she felt bad for leaving Jane so long.

After an hour and a half, Maura sent a text to Jane, {Sorry I am running later than expected. Should be leaving here in a few, its almost lunch time, what do you have a taste for, xoxo M} Jane had just finished up with her purchase when she received the text, then responded {That's okay, I have been busy checking this place out, even read through a menu at a restaurant that looked good, want to give it a try? Maybe you have been there before. Its called the Red Lion3}Maura smiled at the response, she was happy that Jane was able to find something to do, {I know the place, have never been, how about I meet you there in 20 min xoxo M } Jane was happy with the time, that gave her time to go to the candy store she saw across the street, (That would be perfect, see you there, I miss you like crazy xxoo J}

Jane arrived at the Red Lion 10 min after the last text, she was able to get in and out of the Chocolate shop in no time. They didn't have Maura's fudge clusters, instead it was more upscale chocolates. She found some Petit Chocolate Cheesecake candies, and then she found the perfect place to store her other purchase. She bought a cute decorative box of Pink Champagne Truffles, and placed the item in there. She was seated at a booth when Maura came in and found her. Jane stood up and gave Maura a big hug and a short chaste kiss. Maura apologized again, but said it couldn't be helped, the process took longer than she thought. The waiter soon came over and took their orders. Jane ordered the Steak and Ale Pie, while Maura went for the Chicken and Mushroom Pie. While they waited Maura asked Jane if she would like to spend the day exploring London, and maybe find a place to stay for the night, then they could head on to Paris the next day. Jane was anxious to get to Paris, but the idea of spending more time here, had her responding, "I think I would enjoy having you show me around, but did you already make reservations somewhere in Paris for tonight?" Maura took sip of her water before replying, "I will just call and change our arrival and departure dates. It will be no problem. So what things would you like to see while we are here?" Jane thought it over for a minute, "well I really do not want to spend my time indoors at museums, if we had days here, then that would be fine. So I think I'd like to take in some of the landmarks, like Big Ben, Parliament, The Tower of London, and Trafalgar Square"

Maura was nodding her head to what Jane was saying, "I totally agree, maybe on our way back we can spend a couple days here if you would like, but this is a play it by ear kinda trip, so we shall see. I would like to go on the London Eye this evening, the view is beautiful, so I will arrange for tickets in advance. We should also decide on what we would like to do for dinner, in case we need reservations for that as well. Then there is also the need in finding a place to stay. I would suggest my parents apartment, but I would rather not have to call either of them at this time, that would open up a whole bunch of questions from the Mothers." Jane laughed at this, then a thought came to her and asked, "would it be okay with you if I planned dinner? And is the London eye that big ferris wheel?"

Maura really wanted to plan out dinner, but she could see this was important to Jane. So she said,

"Yes Jane that big ferris wheel is the London Eye, I look forward to you planning our dinner, just let me know what to where. Now why don't we get the hotel issue taken care of, then we can relax and site see."

I chose the Rafayel on the Left Bank, for its view of the Thames. Jane seemed to love the name saying if it is named after a ninja turtle it can't be bad. It wasn't overly upscale, but it also was not your simple Hilton either. I was working my way to that, but I just wanted Jane to experience the view from the room. So I booked a Thames Room for the night, the hotel offered a car park, so we would need to head back for the car. Check in was at 3pm, so that gave us time. I also knew to complete my plans for the evening that I needed to get to a store. As we made our way back to the car, I used my phone to search for one that was near some of the landmarks that Jane wanted to see. Once we were ready to head to the hotel car park, I programmed the GPS for Jane, so that I could arrange our tickets for the London Eye. By the time we arrived it was 1 pm. Jane wanted some time to plan out dinner, so I suggested that we meet back in the hotel lobby at 2pm, that would give me enough time to go make my purchase, and for her to find a restaurant.

After using her phone to check Trip Advisor, Jane made reservations at Rhodes 24. It was only 10 min from the London Eye, and the reviews were outstanding. When she called to make them, she asked for a window table with views of the Gherkin Building, she wanted tonight to be perfect.

Maura had made it to the store and it didn't take her long to find what she was looking for, once she saw it, she knew it was perfect. She made it back to Jane just before 2pm, and they went to see if they could check in early. The staff accommodated their request, and they soon found themselves in their room, able to get freshened up. Jane found Maura looking out at the Thames, walked up and wrapped her arms around her, from the back. She kissed Maura on her neck and said, "it is such a beautiful view." Maura leaned back into Jane's arms and hummed her agreement, then Jane said,"The River is nice too." Maura smiled and turned her head towards Jane then, and pulled her into a not so chaste kiss this time. Once they both needed air, Maura pulled back and said, "I am really enjoying myself. I know we haven't had a chance to site see yet, but just being with you, is enough for me. I missed this ease we have with one another. I was worried that we would have to really try and that it would be awkward, especially with all of the feelings that were laid out. I guess this just proves even more that we are meant to be, don't you think?" Jane pulled Maura back in for another kiss, then as she pulled back she said, "Yes, this feels perfect. I want this, us, to never end. I love you Maura." I love you to Jane, now lets go be tourists. What time do we need to be back to get ready for dinner?" "Reservations are for 7pm, and the restaurant is 20 min away. So lets plan to be back in 3 hours, we may have to skip some sights. So lets go."

Jane and Maura enjoyed the afternoon together and both looked forward to tonight.


	26. Chapter 26:Forever

Chapter 26: Forever

Jane and Maura had a fun afternoon taking in the sites. Maura, who had been to London numerous times throughout her life, found this to be her most favorite visit of all. Her previous visits were usually solo, only a few times had she joined her parents. Those trips mainly were for her mothers art exhibits, or her fathers lectures. Jane had a way of making this experience fun and exciting. Maura was able to share information about what they were seeing and Jane took great interest. When Maura tried to restrain herself from going overboard with her knowledge, Jane was their encouraging her to share more. Maura saw only sincerity this time. She realized that maybe it was overwork and stress, that causes Jane's frustration with her at times. Maybe her overly sarcastic attitude, towards her googlemouth back home stemmed from that. Now with no homicides to solve, no Angela around to pester her, she was more relaxed and patient. Maura decided that going forward they would need to make sure they took time away for themselves, away from work and family. In the past 8 years, this is Maura's first true vacation, and she knew Jane has not been on one in all the time she has known her.

They had so much fun that they lost track of time, so by the time they arrived back to the hotel, it was 6pm, leaving them only 30 minutes to get ready. Jane kept apologizing over and over, but Maura would have none of that. "Jane, I said it was okay. I can get ready in 30 minutes, we are on vacation after all. If my makeup or hair is not perfect, you will be the only one who has to put up with it, so I should be the one apologizing." Jane stared at Maura, was she really that oblivious to her natural beauty. "Maur, you my dear are gorgeous, you do not even need makeup. As for clothes, you could wear a potato sack, and I will still follow you around, like a puppy dog needs a bone." Maura went to get the dress that she had hung up in the closet before they had left, when she looked in she did not see her dress, but a dress bag from Marks and Spencer. "Jane, do you know where my dress went?"

Jane smiled as she walked over to her. "this is your first surprise of the night, I wanted to get you something. You are always doing such nice things for me, and when I saw this dress I pictured you in it." Maura was admiring the dress, it was a black floral lace dress, with ¾ length lace sleeves, definitely a style that she liked. "Jane, I love it, thank you so much" Maura leaned into Jane and gave her a very passionate kiss, that they quickly got lost in. Jane was the first to pull away,"I know it's not from a top designer, but it was the only clothing store I saw on the block." Maura cut Jane off from saying anything else, "Jane, I love it!, now I better get it on, so we can go."Maura kisses Jane once more, then dresses.

They arrived at the Restaurant with 10 minutes to spare. The Maitre'D led them to their table, just as Jane had asked, they were seated with a view of the Gherkin Building. "Jane, the view is so lovely. I have heard wonderful things about this restaurant. Thank you for bringing me here. However, you really didn't have to pick such an expensive restaurant. I would have been happy going to back to the Red Lion." Jane smiled and said, "Maur, I wanted to do this. I know it's not my thing, but every now and then it is nice to dress up and celebrate. So enjoy it, We may be eating Pizza and burgers the rest of the trip." Maura laughed at that, "Very funny Jane, and I agree we do have some celebrating to do. I have a gift for you as well this evening, but I think I need some liquid encouragement first. I am not sure how you will react to it."

Just then the waiter stepped over and they placed a drink order, "Maur, there is nothing to be nervous about. I can be really open to things, especially when it involves you. So what is this gift you are referring to?"

"Let's order first, that way I can talk to you without any interruptions. Okay?" Maura asked

The waiter returned a few minutes later with their drinks and then proceeded to take their dinner orders.

They had both decided to skip the appetizer course, they were going to save room for dessert instead. Jane was going to order the Beef dish, but once she saw snails were included, she veered away from it. She decided the next time she picks a restaurant, that she needs to take the time to check the menu out as well as the reviews. So she went with the safest thing, and ordered the Sea Trout, which came with a tempura of scallops, oyster mushrooms, sweet corn puree and a tarragon butter sauce. Maura who was surprised at Jane's order, went with the same. Once the waiter left, Maura raised her wine glass and made a toast, "To us, May we love as long as we live, and live as long as we love." Maura and Jane clink there glasses and take a sip. Then Maura continues, "Jane I look forward to whatever life throws our way as long as we are in it together. We may not always agree on things, but in the end that's not a big deal. Not always seeing eye to eye is what makes it interesting. We can learn something new from each other, and that will allow us to grow, in love and friendship. I know from what you said the other day, that you have issues with my money. I do not want to go forward with this hanging over our head. I do not want you to second guess my feelings for you. I do not want you to have self doubt about us or my love. I do not want you to fear the thought of me wanting, what you deem better. I can not think of any other words to say than these, that will make you believe me. So please,.. listen carefully,.. hear my every word,...because you have had all me for a very long time now, you just didn't know it, or believe it, so believe me now when I say: I am deeply in love with you Jane Clementine Rizzoli. My eyes seek no other... Our lips connect like magnets, for we are polar opposites... My Heart has been captured within your hands, I know longer own it,...you do. As for my soul, it shall forever be linked with yours." Maura and Jane have their hands linked across the table, Maura stands and leans over, giving Jane a short passionate kiss, conveying all the love she can. Jane has tears running down her face, she is about to say something when Maura says, "I need just a few more minutes Jane. I have given you my words, but now I need to show you in another way that you are all that I ever want or need. When two people decide to share a life together, they become one entity. That means to say they share all of who they are, good and bad. I know you see my wealth as the bad, it stands in our way because you are uncomfortable by it, you feel you cannot measure up because of it. I may use some of it to enjoy nice things, but I can do that with just the salary I earn from being a Doctor. The money that I was adopted into serves greater purpose, I am able to give to charities and individuals that are in need. Yes, I have bought houses and cars with it, but that part is all going to change. I do not need to own beach houses and villas. I do not need to own a Mercedes, or Lexus. I do not need to eat at 5 star Michelin rated restaurants. I do not need the complete line of expensive designers. What I do need is your love, trust and commitment to me for as long as I live. (Maura reaches down and pulls out an envelope from her purse) So as a token of this pledge to you, and to ensure that my money does not come between us ever, I made sure that it is no longer mine." (Jane's eye's are now wide, with a little fear. She is thinking that Maura gave all her money away. That is not what she had wished, Maura sees Jane about to same say something and cuts her off again) "I made some changes today, I want for us to go forward doing things for others together. I decided to break away from the Isles Foundation, and I created another one. One that is ours, the Rizzles Foundation. We will work together to decide how best to utilize our funds. Those funds will be used for the soul purpose of aiding those in need. They will not be used for personal possessions. Some will be invested, only as a means to grow funds to do even more good. I have also added you to my personal bank account back home, What's mine is yours and yours is mine."

Jane didn't know what to say. She didn't think she could love Maura anymore than she already did, but was now proven wrong. She sat there completely stunned. She was about to respond when the waiter brought them there dinner. Maura smiled and said, "I know you have things to say, but lets enjoy our food while it is hot, then we can talk some more." Jane waited for the waiter to leave, then stood and moved her chair closer to Maura, she leaned in and gave her a tender kiss. "I have a lot to say actually, but right now I am just going to go with, I love you more and more each day Maura Dorothea Isles, and you amaze me. Now lets eat so we can get out of here, I am bursting inside with so much more."

Maura gave her a quick kiss back and agreed. When the waiter came back to see how everything was, he was surprised to see that both their plates were clean. He asked about desert, but both declined, and Jane asked for the check. Once the check and tip were settled, Jane led Maura out of the restaurant.

Once they were outside, Jane hailed a cab. She told the driver they wanted to go to the London Eye. The ten minute drive was a quiet one, just sitting in each others arms. When they arrived Maura led them to the queue. She had purchased a fast track ticket, which gave them priority boarding. She also called in a favor so that she could finish her evenings plan in private. Their host met with them and escorted them to their capsule. Upon entering they were greeted with a bottle of champagne. The Host informed them that their trip would last 30 minutes, then he left and closed up the capsule. Jane turned to Maura and inquired as to why they were alone. "Well I wanted this to be a romantic journey, I didn't want to share this experience with anyone else around but you. So I got us tickets on Cupids Capsule, the only favor I asked for, was to not have a host." Jane grabbed Maura and pulled her into a hungry kiss, Maura responded immediately. Her mouth was so warm and the caress of her lips was even softer than the other times. Jane tasted her with her tongue, as they both let out a low moan. Jane continued to deepen the kiss, as she rubbed her hands down Maura's arms and rested them on her hips. Finally the need for air brought them both back to the present. Jane and Maura rested their foreheads together, with Maura being the first to speak, "As much as I want to continue this, I have one more thing on my mind. I had planned on waiting until we were in Paris, but I find myself in a perfect moment, and I do not want to waste it." Jane's wheels begin to turn and she realizes that Maura may be about to do, what she had planned. So Jane cuts Maura off and says, "Wait, you had all of that time back there, now it's my time, then if you have more to say, once I am done, then you can go. Oh, and this time you need to pay attention to my words." Jane was smiling, and led them to the windows. "First I want to say that I understand why you did what you did, but that is not what I ever wanted you to do. I am sorry for making you feel like you have to separate yourself form your wealth, That you feel like you need to put it in my name as well. I know it didn't define you as a person, I know you didn't wave it around. It's just me, and I am working on my insecurities." Maura interrupts, "Jane that topic is closed for discussion, I didn't do it for you. I did it for us. I wanted to do it, I was not forced into the decision. I could have easily left things the way they were, but that would not be including you completely into my life, and that is what I want. So enough, we are moving forward, I do not want to hear about it anymore." Jane realized that she needed to drop that so she went on. "Okay, so dropping that. I am now an official Rizzle do good-er, gotcha. Moving on...(Jane takes a minute to get back on track)

When I think of you, I know no one else will ever hold my heart the way you do. I know life will offer us many challenges, and I am willing to meet them, but only if you face them with me. You said I own your heart, well you own mine. I like being your lip magnet as well, (Jane raises her eyebrows up and down as she smiles at Maura, Maura playfully swats her and smiles back) I promise you that I will always work hard to make you happy. When I look into my heart I only see you. I know I said that you only deserve the very best, someone who will back you up without limits, let you grow without borders, and love you without end. I want to be that one, I know with all my heart that I can be the very best for you. I want you by my side forever and always", (Maura knows where this is going, and as the tears of joy are running down her cheeks, she pulls a box from her pocket, at the ready), Jane kneels down on one knee and looks up to Maura as she says, "Maura will you do me the honor of becoming my wife", (Jane opens up the ring box to reveal a beautiful Platinum Floating Diamond Engagement ring, with six round diamonds that taper in size, set on either side of a beautiful Marquise Diamond) Maura, now kneels in front of Jane, (as she pulls out her ring box) she says, "Yes, and will you do me the honor of becoming my wife as well?" (Maura opens the box to reveal a stylish grooved Platinum ring with a round center stone, flanked by smaller diamond accents). Jane and Maura are both crying as Jane says, Yes. They both embrace before pulling back to place the rings on each others fingers. Then Jane helps Maura up into a standing position, and they seal the proposal with a very passionate kiss, leaving them both breathless. When they pulled away they just held each other and took in the view of London. Once the Capsule came to a stop and they exited, they quickly found a taxi to return them to their hotel. They had some celebrating to do.


	27. Chapter 27:Planning

A/N: Thank you again for the great reviews! I know you have become used to my daily or every other day postings, however over the next 2 -3 weeks, I can not guarantee that I will be able to. I will try, but life may get in the way.

Chapter 27: Planning

As the sun filtered through the window, Maura and Jane begin to stir in each others arms. Maura leaned in to capture Jane's lips, then pulled back after awhile and said, "Good morning my love, I think I need to be pinched. Last night was just... wow. I now know the true meaning of making love. Thinking back to Dublin, that was more lust on each others parts. But last night, you exploded my world, that was true, 100% bliss. No one has ever made me feel like that." Jane smiled and flipped Maura onto her back, "I could the same to you babe, the things you can do with that tongue, is just amazing." Maura laughed at that, "I can't help it if I can't get enough of you, you taste better than even your mother's cannoli." Jane swatted Maura, "Ewww, First off do not mention my mother while laying naked beneath me, and second, ewww, cannoli's really." Maura continued to chuckle until Jane captured her lips up into a passionate kiss. When they were both in need of air, Maura pushed Jane over onto her side, so they were laying face to face. There legs were intertwined with one another. She began to say, "Jane speaking of mother's, when do you think we should tell them?" Jane smiled, gave Maura a kiss on her nose, "You are so cute, you know that... we will tell them on our 10 year anniversary" She laughed then began to kiss Maura's neck. It was Maura's turn to playfully slap Jane, "You know that is not funny...Why don't we start with an easy question then, when do you want to get married?"

Jane hugged Maura closer to her, if that was even possible. "Okay, I know that I am not going to get anywhere with you until I answer all of the questions that are swirling around in that big brain of yours so... let's get through them. We will tell our mother's when we get back to Dublin, I want to enjoy our engagement for awhile, once ma knows, she will become worse than a helicopter mom, she will become Typhoon Angela, before you know it, we will be married and she will be handing me the turkey baster to knock you up." Maura and Jane were both laughing at that one. "yes your mother will be a handful, but as long as we have everything planned ahead of time, that won't leave her with much to do." Jane agreed with that, "Okay, so as to when, … the sooner the better... I can't wait for you to be my wife, I love the sound of that." Maura smiled at Jane and gave her a quick kiss, "I can't wait either, I can't wait to change the name plaque on my office door, Dr. Maura Isles Rizzoli. Once my colleagues get used to linking me with the Rizzoli name, I will drop Isles of course." Jane was speechless at first, "You want to be a Rizzoli, wow, I just figured you would want me to take your name. I thought you would want our child to carry on the Isles name." Maura tilted her head to the side to ponder this, then said, "Well I would want our children, to grow up a Rizzoli and I think if we were to take each others names, it can be a bit confusing. I like the idea of having and sharing the same name. I didn't think you would want to change from Rizzoli to Isles." Jane was still back on the word children, "wait you said children, how many are we talking about here? And as far as names how about we hyphenate, so that way our children, can carry on both our names. Detective Jane Isles Rizzoli, I like the sound of that. What do you think? Oh and I only kept my name last because it sounds better that way."

Maura thought it over, saying there names in both ways, "Yes, I can see how the flow of our names does sound better with Isles Rizzoli verses Rizzoli Isles. I will agree to that, and as for children. I would want at least 2, but if we could be blessed with more that would be wonderful too. If my age becomes a factor in getting pregnant, would you be open to adoption?" Jane was smiling at Maura, "I can't wait to see you pregnant, and If you want more than 2 kids I can agree to that. I also would love to adopt as well. How about we give ourselves one year from our wedding, then we can start making and popping out babies." Maura is shaking her head at Jane, "Really Jane, popping out. What's with the we stuff, are you planning on carrying some of them?" Jane's eyes began to pop out of her head, "uh, no babe, that I will leave up to you. Why don't we discuss this more when we get around to actually, doing it." Maura sighed and replied, "Fine Jane, so going back to a date. You are on a leave of absence and I am not even sure if I can get my job back. I do not think the BPD will be willing to give you time off anytime soon, once you are back. So, what if we were able to arrange a small ceremony, with My Parents, your family, and our closest friends for when we return to Boston. We can have that dream wedding that we talked about. I can make all the arrangements by phone... Then once all plans are in place, we call our mothers via video chat. We tell them the good news and then have them go back to Boston to ensure that everything gets done. We can plan for it to take place 3 weeks from now. It will make your mother happy that she is involved and my parents can arrange to have one of their judicial friends to officiate our ceremony. While they are doing that, we can go on our honeymoon. I know it will be backwards, but I think with work, it would be best." Jane thought this over and replied, "I think that is a great idea, but what about Disney World, and the beach?" Maura waggled her eyebrows up and down, and smiled as she said, "What would you say if I told you my Paris surprise was that I have reservations for us in the Presidential Suite at Disney's Hotel New York. I had only planned 4 days and 3 nights there, so maybe we could extend that to a whole week. The beach would be next on our list, so we could hop a train and head to Biarritz, France. It is supposed to have the top beach. We could stay there for 10 days, then fly back to Leeds to wrap things up and then fly home and be married. What do you say?" Jane answered Maura by giving a low growl, flipping her over and making mad monkey love for the next hour.

Jane and Maura were showered, dressed and packed by 10:45, they would just be making their 11 o'clock check-out time. Then they were headed for the Euro-tunnel, the train would take them and there car across the English Channel and into France. They should be at Disneyland no later than 8pm. While they traveled for those 6 hours, Maura and Jane would be making their wedding arrangements. Maura called and arranged for their ceremony and reception to be held at Fenway. Once they had the date set, they were able to arrange for the Cake, Flowers, and Caterer. Jane would have Frankie arrange the entertainment with a buddy of his who was a Deejay,. Then she would have him look up Rondo to arrange for him and his guys to perform. But she would not contact him until she made the announcement to her Ma. That would be done first thing tomorrow morning, or possibly tonight when they got in. It would just depend upon how tired they were. When Maura had completed all of her calls and texts to confirm exactly what they wanted, she made sure to document everything and put it into email form and saved it as a draft. She would send it off once they talked their mothers. They were now only 3 hours out from Paris. Then their honeymoon would begin.


	28. Chapter 28:Bump in the Road

A/N: Was going to go all fluff, but then thought better of it, lol I needed more drama, otherwise it would make it too easy.

Chapter 28: A Bump in the Road

By 7:30pm, Maura and Jane had checked in and ordered room service for dinner. They decided to call their mothers in the morning and spend the night searching for a place to live. Most places that they liked were too far outside Boston. If they were to get called in to a crime scene, that just wouldn't work. They did not want to live in an apartment, when children would be in their foreseeable future. So Jane reluctantly allowed them to raise there search price. That is when they found it. A home in West Roxbury. It was perfect for them and their soon to be new family. It was only 5.6 miles from work, and had a backyard for the kids to play in someday. It was an Old Colonial with 6 bedrooms and 2 baths. The kitchen was awesome and the house had 3 floors. They knew just from the pictures, that this was the right place. So Maura sent an email off to her attorney. She explained that she would like to purchase the home and also asked him to place her current residence into Angela Rizzoli's name. After ensuring she had all of the details listed, she sent it off. Then they relaxed from their long travel day, and eventually fell asleep.

Upon waking Maura gave Jane's shoulder a quick kiss, then headed to take a shower. She knew they would be spending most of their day in the park and thought she would get a jump on getting ready. When she exited the bath she could smell fresh brewed coffee, that could only mean one thing, Jane was up.

"Good morning, did you sleep well?" Maura asked.

Jane walked up to Maura and pulled her into a kiss then responded, "Yes, I did. I see you are still the early bird. Let me take a quick shower and then we can call the mom's. I know we are an hour ahead, but they should be up."

Maura gave her a quick peck back and then headed to get some coffee. While she waited to looked over the map of the park as well as show times.

Once Jane was finished she called her Ma and asked her to log into the video chat. Avoiding all questions her mother was throwing at her. She just told her the quicker she got online, the quicker she would have her answers. Then she went to join Maura on the couch.

Once they had logged on, they saw both Angela and Constance staring at them. Angela finally burst first, "So how are you girl's? How is Leeds? Maura how are things going with you?"

When Maura didn't respond right away, Constance joined in with the questions. "Maura Dear, are you alright? Is Dr. Simms helping you?"

Maura was actually at a loss for words. She didn't want to just blurt it out. She looked to Jane who was also looking a bit apprehensive. "Mother, ….Angela... We are both doing well. Very well, as a matter of fact we are no longer in Leeds. I found that I no longer needed Dr. Simm's help, so we took a holiday. We made a stop in London, before coming to Paris. We are currently at Disneyland."

The look on both mother's face was that of confusion. "Maura dear, I know you may feel that you are not in need of a doctor's help, but let me assure you that what happened to you was not to be taken lightly. I would think that you being a doctor, you could see that you needed help."

Maura was now getting a bit irritated and snipped back, "Yes, I am a doctor, and after having a few sessions, I came to an epiphany. I knew what needed to be addressed, and I addressed them. I have never felt better... If you do not believe me, then you can ask Jane."

Angela looked over to Constance and then back to Jane and Maura, "Jane is this true? Is Maura all well now?"

Jane understood that they were only concerned for Maura, but they were making it seem like they thought Maura was ready for the looney bin. "Yes Ma, Maura is not sick as you are making it sound. She was under a lot of stress, not to mention her body was at the point of exhaustion. What happened back in Boston was just the last straw. She has rested and we both have successfully talked things through. I would think that both of you would have been happy to see this. Happy to see that we are together and happy. We both needed this vacation, it was along time coming. We were actually contacting you with some news."

Constance was the first to respond, "Yes We are happy to see that you are both doing well, especially you Maura. I guess we had hoped to hear from you both sooner, and when we didn't we began to think the worst. I do see that you look well rested. Jane thank you for being there for her. What is it you needed to tell us?"

Jane and Maura grabbed hands, looked at one another and nodded. Maura was to make the announcement. "Mother, Angela. 2 nights ago, while we were aboard the London Eye, we both... surprised... each other... What I mean to say is, well we both... proposed to one another. Jane and I are getting married."

Jane and Maura were smiling from ear to ear, happiness and joy were just pouring off of them. Then they realized as they were staring into each other eyes that their mothers had yet to say a word. They turned to look at them and were now staring into what looked like shocked faces.

Jane said," Well are you going to say anything? Like Congratulations, we are so happy for the two of you? Maybe an it's about time?"

Constance spoke first, "Jane, while I am happy that you have been there for Maura, it is because of you that she was there to begin with. How can you so quickly jump to marriage? Maura, are you that desperate to be with Jane that you think rushing into this is the smart thing? I might be happy for you if I saw you both in a healthy relationship for maybe at least 6 months to a year. But not after a stressful week. Maura, I think you should head back to Leeds and keep seeing Dr. Simm's. Jane, I can't tell you what to do, but I think you should head home to Boston."

Jane and Maura were shocked, they did not understand how this went so wrong, before either could respond, Angela spoke up. "Jane, Maura... I can agree with what Constance is saying to an extent. I was shocked initially when you said proposal. I apologize for not reacting better. I am happy to hear of your engagement. I look forward to the day that you Maura, will be officially my daughter-in-law. I do think that you should spend some more time talking things through with a counselor. I would hate for either of you to go thorough what I did with frank, later in your marriage. So please consider this. I think it may help Constance if you were to tell us when you had planned to get married. I think if you were to say its a long engagement, like a year from now, then maybe she would be more open and happier, isn't that right Constance? Constance gave a quick nod and said Yes.

Jane looked to Maura again, she could see the pain in her eyes. She knew it was because once again her Mother was falling back into old habits. She turned back to Constance and said, "I can understand your apprehension, but you know how I feel about your daughter. It was you who hoofed the bill for me to be able to come her. I screwed up yes, but I did so because I feared losing her, I feared that I was not good enough. But let me tell you, I am good enough, I do deserve her, and I will spend the rest of my life showing her how important she is. We have worked everything out, we are in this together. We know what we want and there is no need to wait. We are ready to be married, soon to be ready to start a family. Maura is healthy, and if it takes a sign off from Dr. Simms to make you see that, then we will get it when we go back to close out the apartment in a few weeks. We will be getting married when we return to Boston in 3 weeks. All arrangements have been made. We were hoping to have you both follow up on them for us, but I am guessing that won't happen. If you change your mind we would both be happy if you would attend. We will make sure to send you your invitations. Now if you will excuse us, we have a honeymoon to enjoy."

Jane didn't wait for a response, she hit log off. Maura found that she wasn't even crying. She was beyond shedding tears for her mother's approval. Angela said she was shocked but happy, so that was something. Maura turned to Jane who still was not saying anything, and gave her a quick put very passionate kiss, "Come on lets get to that honeymoon, I need breakfast and then I want to hit the park."

Jane smiled back at her, and pulled her into a hug. "I love you, and you know I am not mad at what they said, it's just that I am shocked that I really do not care what they say. I know I want you, I know I have you, and we will be just fine.

Jane and Maura headed down to eat, and enjoy there day together.


	29. Chapter 29: A Mother's Love

Chapter 29: A Mother's Love

Once Angela and Constance got off the video chat they just sat there, both unsure of what to say. Constance broke the silence first. "I do believe they are in love with each other, but I do not believe they are ready for marriage. I think they are both afraid of losing one another, and feel that this is the only way to ensure that they don't. A marriage that is rushed into will either end in divorce, or else they will grow so far apart that they no longer have time for each other. I mean what do they have in common? They are both opposites, no offense but they are both from different worlds."

Angela was listening to Constance and was finding it hard to listen to. "In the past 8 years, how much time have you spent talking with Maura? How often did you or her father visit her, spend time with her? I Know it was rare up until a year ago, because I was around. I have been around since they first became friends. I have watched this friendship grow into the mutual love they share with one another. Those two women have been through so much together, they both have saved each other over and over. I have never seen such a strong bond between two people before. It is like something you only see in the movies. Frank and I never looked at each other the way those two do. You say they come from different worlds as if it is a bad thing. I see two women sharing and learning from each other. Jane has learned so much from Maura. She may sit around and complain about watching those documentaries that Maura loves, but she pays attention. Jane never liked to go to museums, plays or even symphonies. It still may not be her first choice, but she does it for Maura, because she loves it. So she shares in it with her. Now it is Jane who is initiating these evenings out, while Maura is more inclined to what Jane would call a perfect evening or weekend. Maura loves to watch sports now. She has every team roster memorized. She knows all the stats, and has read every book on the play of the game. She started out doing this so she could share in Jane's love of sports, and landed up finding her own love for it. Maura has gone from ice skating to playing ice hockey with Jane, her brothers and their friends. They both enjoy playing chess together. My Janie was always good at playing the piano, but then that Hoyt man came around and she couldn't play anymore, it was too painful. Maura was the only one she allowed to touch her hands. It was Maura's hands that began to heal Janie's. Last year for the first time in many years, my Janie played Silent Night on Christmas Eve. It was the most beautiful gift that I could have ever received. Maura saved Jane from the dark world that man put her in and Janie saved Maura from the dark world you raised her in. I am sorry if that hurts, but Maura was a very lonely, and sad soul when I first met her. She was very uncomfortable around people. Here was this beautiful, smart, caring and selfless woman, who was such a success at a young age; and she couldn't see it. My Janie made sure she saw who she was, and she taught her to laugh, to have fun, and to experience life outside of books, and work. The more I sit here and analyze this, I am so mad at myself for reacting the way I did. Those two deserve each other, deserve a long and happy life together. I hope you can find it in your heart to change your mind. I am going to go call my girls and apologize, then I am going home to make sure they have the most beautiful wedding. I hope you and your husband will join me."

Constance began to shake her head, then a smile came over her."I thought your daughter was protective of my Maura. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you too are able to put me in my place. I am really getting tired of apologizing for being a bad mother, but you were right with everything you said. I like to think that I know my daughter. I like to think that she is a bit like me in some ways, but the truth is that if she took after either of us, it would be more of her father than me. My husband was never one for the high society dinners. He was a man of books, education, travel and lets not forget his archeological digs that he loved so much. I fell in love with his sense of adventure and we had some wonderful times, when Maura came along I saw the love he had for her, you could see it in his eyes. As she grew older she shared his love for many things. She was daddy's girl, and I was the jealous mother. I through myself back into the life that I loved. I forced it upon William, I told him it was his responsibility to ensure that are daughter was excepted into our circle. I bullied him into being the society man. I broke him a bit, especially when I put the thought of boarding schools into Maura's head. She still thinks it was her decision, but if she hadn't made it, I would have ensured it. That left her father all to myself. Once Maura was off to school, I allowed him to go back to his travels and digs, and I joined him. I was selfish, I did not know how to share love. William wanted to reach out to her. He wanted to visit her, invite her to come on trips with us. But I ruined that, I ruined what could have been a very nurturing father daughter relationship, with four simple words. I will divorce you. I used the threat of divorce to keep him as I wanted him. You see, William would never be able to finance another expedition. He was nothing without me, I made sure of that. He always loved me, still does today. But he also resents me, he resents what he lost. He is scared to reach out to her now. They have not seen each other in quite some time. They may share words through emails, but it is more like two acquaintances speaking, rather than father and daughter. I do not like the person that I became. I turned out to be my own mother, with whom I detested for how she treated my own father. I do not want that for Maura. I guess though, I do not need to worry about her becoming me. I think I know who her true mother is now. That would be you. She would be stupid not to look up to you, emulate you. Maura will be the type of Mother that she deserved to have, and that is because of you. I have so much to learn yet. I like to think that in the past year that I have improved. I have so much to make up for, and I know I need to repair her relationship with William, even if the truth makes her hate me. I believe you when you say that they belong with one another. I too will apologize, and I would be happy to join you in Boston. I will call William and have him meet us there. I will need a minute to clean myself up before we call the girls, so if you will excuse me." Constance stood up to leave the room, her makeup was ruined do to her crying.

Angela quickly stood and grabbed her arm, she gave her a big Rizzoli hug. "Maura loves you. She knows her life was not perfect growing up, but she has always been thankful for the life you both gave her. I agree she needs to know about her father, however I do not think that Maura will hate you, she is not like that. We cannot change our past, but we can change our future. So go on now and clean up, we have a wedding to take care of."


	30. Chapter 30:Honeymoon Wrap Up

Chapter 30:Honeymoon Wrapup

Jane and Maura went to the breakfast buffet in their hotel before heading out for the day.

They decided to spend the whole day at Disneyland and go to Walt Disney Studios the next day. Maura had never been to an amusement park like this. Her only experience with rides was when Jane had taken her to a carnival. Jane loved to see the smile that was permanently plastered on Maura's face. She would get excited when she could recognize the characters. Jane was the one who had opened her eyes to Disney Movies and Cartoons. It was one of those things that she had missed out on in her childhood. Jane fixed that oversight though, when she had found out a few years back, she arranged a 4 day weekend and made sure Maura watched as many Disney movies as she could. It was just another reason to love her. It meant so much to be here experiencing this with Jane.

They spent the day like two big kids, laughing and having a good time. Every now and then they would take a break from the rides and just sit and watch people. Maura enjoyed seeing the interactions of parents with their children. "Jane, I cannot wait to be able to share this with our children someday. Not just Disney the park, or the movies and cartoons. It is more than that. Look at that little boy over there. His face is full of wonder, imagination, joy. I want to be able to share all of that with a son and daughter one day. I cannot wait to share in it with them. I can see us having tea parties,... battling pirates,... exploring magical worlds,... even travel through time. It really is amazing how this place makes you feel. You can forget about everyday life and just have fun. I am so happy to be here with you. I love you so much." Maura leaned into Jane and gave her a chaste kiss, they were out in public after all.

Jane smiled at Maura, gave her a side hug, and kissed her head. "I am happy to be here with you too, sharing all of this. I cannot wait for us to share all of those visions you have with our children too. You are going to be a great Mom! Now come on, lets go get some lunch and head to Tomorrowland for the afternoon. Then we can head back to the hotel, get cleaned up for dinner and then come back here for the laser shows and fireworks. How does that sound?"

"Great!,Lets go." Maura stood and pulled Jane with her.

When Maura and Jane got back to their room, they went about taking a shower and changing for the night. Before heading out Maura suggested they check their cells in case they had any messages. Maura had one from the caterer, and another from the florist, but the one she paused on was the one from her mother. Jane had glanced up to see the worry that was now on Maura's face.

"Maur, what is it?"

Maura bit her bottom lip and said, "My Mother left a message saying that it was urgent that I contact her, and that I should call anytime no matter how late. Her tone was a bit odd. Oh Jane, how can that women be so nonsupporting all of a sudden?

Jane walked over and wrapped Maura up in her arms, "Maura, you don't know that it is bad. Let's give her a call and find out. Remember, we are in this together. Let me check my phone before we do, okay."

Maura nodded and continued to hold onto Jane while she scrolled through her phone. "See Maur, I have about the same message from Ma. She wants us to call as soon as possible. I know it's not an emergency, 'cause she would be screaming and yelling the message. Let's see what they want now, okay"

So Jane made the call to her mother. It turns out that she and Constance were just sitting down to eat dinner, but that they both wanted to talk to them. So Jane said they would set up a video chat, it was 6pm right now, and they still needed to eat dinner as well, so she set it up for 7:30pm. That would give them enough time to eat, make the chat, and still get to the show and fireworks later.

Once they were logged in they saw Angela first, she explained that Constance would be a few minutes, she had to go back to her own room for something.

"Jane, Maura... I want to apologize to you both. I should not have hesitated in responding to your engagement. I am beyond happy. I know you are both meant to be together, and I know it will be a beautiful life that you will share. I am always her to support you girls. Maura you have always been like a daughter to me, and now I am overjoyed that it will be official...Jane,... Maura.,... When the time comes I hope you two bless me with several grandchildren...'

"Ma, stop right there. Thank you, we love you, and when the time comes you will be the first to know."

"Yes Angela, Thank you. Your support means a lot to us."

Just then Constance walked into view. "Hello girls, I wanted to apologize to you both. I was looking upon your relationship and what I felt was a rushed one, through the wrong eyes. I have not been involved in your lives enough to understand the bond that was already created between the two of you. I was not around to recognize how much the two of you loved and cared for one another prior to this.

Maura, I have failed you time and time again. I need to stop looking at your life through my own eyes, because that would be a tainted view. I have tried to look upon you as if you were like me, therefore you would think like me. I was so wrong, you are nothing like me. Thanks to your own ambition in life and for Jane and her family taking you under their family wing, you have grown so much. You do have a true understanding of love and family. Something that someday I too hope to have. I trust in your decision to marry Jane, I also support it 100%. I have been in touch with your father, and he will be in Boston within the week to help in way that he can. I only have one request of you. Prior to your wedding, I would like for you to meet with your father and I. There is something that I need to tell you... Your father also asked that I convey to you his congratulations as well. He says he looks forward to meeting Jane, and that if at all possible, if you have time, he would like to have dinner with the two of you when you get back to Boston. I truly am sorry if I upset either of you, that was not my intention."

Maura saw something in her mother that she had never once seen. She saw guilt, but she didn't think it was from yesterday. No this was something else, and why the cryptic meeting with her and her father.

Maura finally snapped back into things, and said, "Thank you mother, I accept the apology. I am glad that you were able to come to terms with it, and I look forward to meeting with you and father. Maybe we can arrange and afternoon meeting and then father and I can join Jane for dinner later the same night."

Jane could sense that Maura was feeling a little unsure of her mother still. She also noticed that whereas her own mother conveyed happiness and joy, Constance was acting distant. So she thought it best to bring this to a close.

"Constance, Maura has mentioned that you and William might be able to help in arranging an officiant for our marriage. Would you be willing to do that for us?"

Constance gave a small smile and replied, "Yes Jane, I would be happy to help with that. I have also told your Mother that I am able to help her with anything that she needs. You are both in goods with her."

Angela smiled and said, "Yes girls, I have the email you sent Maura and as soon as I get back I will attend to everything. We have a 5am flight out tomorrow. I will try to not disturb you gals unless I really need to."

Maura had almost forget to tell Angela the best news, but for some reason she did not want her mother to hear. In a way she felt guilty that she had such a close relationship with Angela and not her own mother. So she said, "Thank you Angela, there is one thing that I wanted to ask you, but with certain ears in the room I would rather do it over the phone. So how about we close out here, and I give you a call." Maura made it seem like the ears she referred to belonged to Jane, but that was not the case.

A few minutes later Angela answered her ringing cell.

"hello Maura, what did you need to ask?"

"First is my mother still there?" Maura questioned.

"No, she said she had to pack and would see me in the morning, said to say goodnight to you and that she would see you in Boston in a few weeks."

"Angela, is my mother really okay with this? She seems more distant than she has been, and I couldn't help but notice that she didn't seem happy."

"Maura, she is okay with it, more than okay. She is having a hard time with issues of the past, She knows she has failed you and there is something that she needs to tell you in person. I think that is what has her more out of sorts to you. Know this though, that woman, she loves you very much. She may have made mistakes, but always remember, she does love you."

Maura could tell that Angela knew what was going on, but was not about to press her about it, instead she went on with why she really wanted to talk to her.

"Angela, Jane and I are in the process of buying a home together. I think that it is important for us to start out life in a place that we create with both our tastes. So that leaves my house in Boston. I have already had the paperwork drawn up and well, you are now the current owner of the house in Beacon Hill. We would like for Tommy, Lydia and T.J. to live in the guest house. It is completely paid for, and all taxes are being paid out of an account that had been set up especially for that. All you will need to worry about is utilities. Maybe someday soon you will need the space to babysit all of those grandkids." Maura laughed.

"Maura honey, I am speechless. I cannot except it, it is too much."

"Angela, there is nothing that I can do, it is legally in your name. Please don't be upset, I know how much you loved living there. Just think of all the good memories that we have had around that kitchen island. Let us add to those memories. It can return to be the place of many more Rizzoli Sunday Dinners. I want our children to grow up sharing in those. So please be happy, because it would make both Jane and I very happy to know that you are there. I think it will also be good for Tommy. He won't have to worry about rent, he can focus his attention on his family. What do say?"

Angela was crying, "Well...when (sniffle) you put it that way... I guess I can't say no. Thank you Maura, (little laugh) if I were there right now I would give you a big hug. So that will have to wait until I see you."

"I am so happy, You can start living there as soon as you get back. Jane and I will pack once we get home, I have yet to confirm a move in date, I only just received a text from my lawyer saying our offer was accepted. So once I find out I will let you know. Thank you Angela for everything. I better get going though, Jane wants to go see fireworks. I will talk to you soon. Love you. Bye"

"Bye, Maura. Thank you again. I love you too."

Jane and Maura made it to the laser show that night and the fireworks. Maura enjoyed both, but thought the fireworks they themselves made that night were by far the best.

The week at Disneyland flew by, this morning was their final day, but instead of going to the parks Maura had wanted to do an early checkout and drive into Paris for a little detour before there evening train to Biarritz, France.

They entered Pronuptia at 10:00am for their appointment. Maura had made reservations to select their wedding attire. She first set out in finding Jane's outfit. She really did not want to wear a dress, but didn't want to wear a tux either, it seemed to manly to her. After 30 min of looking, Maura found the perfect outfit, Jane was beyond excited as well. It was her. A 3 piece wedding trouser and suit in cotton macrame`. Draped bust, sleeveless with collar. Flared trousers and sarong. All in white. Jane tried it on and felt gorgeous in it. She did not however let Maura see her, they had to have some sense of secrecy. After the ceremony, Jane and Maura would both change into White trousers with Matching Red Sox Jerseys. Now it was Maura's turn. She however told Jane to go to the coffee shop, she wanted hers to be a total surprise. It took Maura sometime, she had thought it would be way to find. All the dresses were gorgeous, but she was looking for that simple, but slightly elegant dress. She finally settled on a Mikado wedding dress with pleated tulle and lace. It was high waisted with a belt and matching cuffs. It was ivory but she asked if they could have one ready for her in white. The girl said another location did indeed have it in white. Maura placed the order for both outfits, neither would require fitting, so she had asked for them to be shipped to her home address. When that was done she went to find Jane.

They spent the next week getting themselves tanned and well rested. They slept in late, spent most afternoons laying around on the beach, and then went out most nights to dinner. Then came back and made love into the wee hours. Neither one wanted it to come to an end, but they had things to wrap up in Leeds and really they both couldn't wait to get back home. They missed their family and friends, apart of them even missed their jobs. Maura had been in touch with the Governor, he was very happy to hear from her. It turns out that the doctor Maura recommended, even though he was good, he found that he did not like the nature of the work. He was more comfortable in a hospital lab than a crime scene. It was too real for him as he put it. The Governor was in the process of interviewing applicants and Dr. Pike was currently driving the BPD crazy for the past week. He offered Maura her job back and she said she would call Dr. Tierney and see if he would come off retirement as a favor to her and fill in until she got back. He congratulated her on her upcoming wedding and okayed her return to work 2 days after her wedding. By 4pm on their last day in Biarritz, they were on a flight back to Leeds. They would get things in order at the apartment when they got in, then the next day they had a 9 am appointment with Dr. Simms. By 12 noon the next day they would be on a flight home.

A/N: If you would like to see the wedding outfits I listed the site. I was very Happy with Jane's, it just popped as her. Maura's didn't pop, so I settled. I found myself spending way too much time looking at dresses.


	31. Chapter 31:Loose Ends and New Beginnings

A/N:

I am still so amazed to the response to this story. You have all given me so much love. Thank you! I appreciate all of the reviews! This is a short one, just leading up to the big talk. I will try to get that posted by Saturday.

Chapter 31:Loose Ends and New Beginnings

At 9am, Jane and Maura found themselves waiting in Dr. Simms office. When Abigail came in she was a bit surprised as she looked upon the couple.

"Hello Maura, Jane... It is good to see you both. I must say you both look really good. You look very well rested and Maura well you look a thousand times better since we were last here in this room. You had exuded much stress, pain and vulnerability. Now I can sense none of that. What happened to that Maura, if I may ask?

Maura was smiling, she was just happy that this was coming to an end. Once she closed this book, it would be for good. She and Jane were ready to write a new story together.

"Well to be honest I had allowed my past get mixed with my present and I realized that I had already come to terms with that. I needed to address my present and future. With Jane's help we both were able to heal. We are on our way home now, but wanted to meet with you after I had left so abruptly last time. You deserved an apology for my behavior. I also wanted you to see with your own eyes, that I was fine. That I am strong again, whole. So again thank you. We need to be leaving for the airport, our flight leaves in a few hours."

Abigail smiled, yes Maura was going to be alright. She could see it in both of their eyes. She noticed they were both wearing rings, but decided to not bring it up. Maura didn't seem to want to mention it, so she left it alone. Yes, it may have seemed to be rushed from an outside view. But, she could sense that they were ready. "No apologies are needed Maura, Jane. I am happy that you came to see me. I am also happy to see you doing so well. I won't keep you's, I would only like to say that I wish you both the best. If you are ever in Leeds again, please call and maybe we can do lunch or dinner."

Jane stood up with Maura right next to her, "We will do that, Thank you again"

They both shook the doctors hand and headed out of the building. They were heading home.

Maura and Jane would be arriving in Boston at 6:50pm. They decided to take a cab home and surprise Angela. They had a busy few days ahead of them. Tomorrow was Wednesday and Maura was going to meet with her father and later they would both have dinner with them. Jane would be packing all day until then. Then first thing Thursday morning they were getting the keys to their house. Tommy and Frankie were coming over to help them move, Maura had wanted to hire movers, but Jane was insistent that they did not need to do that. Then Friday was the big day, they were getting married. They would have Sat and Sun all to themselves, then Monday morning, back to work.

Once Jane and Maura stepped out of the cab, Angela came running out. She first grabbed Jane and pulled her into a crushing hug, then she reached for Maura and did the same.

"Ma, come on, let Maura go, she needs to breathe." Jane was yelling.

"Oh, I am just so happy to see you girls. Maura your Mother and Father are staying at the Four Seasons, they said to tell you that they would see you tomorrow afternoon. They didn't want to overwhelm you on your first day back." Angela said.

"Why, no overwhelming for us right Ma." Jane said sarcastically.

"Don't you mouth me young lady, Maura appreciates me." Angela huffed.

Jane smiled at Maura so she would know that she was joking, "yeah Ma, we all know she is the favorite in the family."

Jane and Maura sat down to the home cooked meal that Angela had prepared. It was a nice change from all the restaurants that they had eaten at. When they were finished they both took showers, then met with Angela to go over the wedding plans. Maura was happy to see that everything was going according to plan, and that all the invitations Angela and her Mother sent out, had returned with responses. Angela retired to the guest house for the evening. Tommy and Lydia decided to wait to move in until after Maura and Jane were settled in their new home. Jane and Maura began to pack as they listened to music. This went on into the wee hours of the morning, they finally went to bed at 3am.

They awoke to the smell of bacon and maple syrup. Angela had made a hearty breakfast for them. Korsak and Frost had the day off and were coming by to help Jane with the packing, while Maura was out. Once fed, and the kitchen cleaned, they started the day.

At noon, Maura found herself in the lobby of the Four Seasons. Her mother suggested that they meet for lunch in the Bristol Lounge. Maura was seated at the reserved table, but found herself waiting for her parents. She found that she was a bit nervous, she had not seen her father in years. She was also unsure if he was really okay with her marrying a woman. So she ordered an Aperitif, to help calm her nerves.

Constance and William entered the lounge and approached their daughter with broad smiles on their face. Maura stood to greet them, and gave each a kiss on either cheek. Once seated the waiter came to take their drink orders as well. Once the pleasantries had been taken care of they spent the meal in small talk. Maura discussed her visit to Disneyland and also her time in Biarritz. Her father updated her on his latest travels as well. The whole time Constance just listened and allowed father and daughter to reconnect. The bond was so easy for them to fall back into. It was like they talked all of the time. This made Constance feel even more guilty. She couldn't wait to get everything out in the open.

Once they finished eating Constance suggested that they return to their suite so they could talk. She proceeded to get up and walk out, not waiting for Maura or William. They looked to one another, shrugged their shoulders and followed. Maura took a deep breath, the wait was over.


	32. Chapter 32:Father and Daughter

A/N: Well we are nearing the end. 2 chapters left. Wedding and then an Epilogue. This is a long one, so I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 32: Father and Daughter

Maura took a seat on the couch, her father sat on the opposite end. Constance chose to sit in the chair facing them both.

"Maura dear, before I begin... I just want you to know that I love you very much. I know I could have... should have... been a better Mother to you. I wish I had expressed my love for you in a non monetary way. I allowed my own upbringing and also jealousy to get in the way of what could have been a wonderful mother-daughter relationship. I see it now, but I was blinded all those years ago. I know since just before the attempt on your life, we made progress in our relationship, I just hope that what I am about to tell you, does not deter you, does not make you hate me. I need you to know that if I could go back and change what I did, I would."

Maura could see how nervous her mother was becoming. Constance was wringing the fabric of her blouse between her two hands, something a very put together woman like her mother would never do. Maura who was a bit nervous, actually scared was more like it, decided to try to calm her mother's fears. "Mother, one thing that I learned this past month is the importance of forgiveness. We all have things from our past that we wish we could change, but it is the past that also helps to define us. We wouldn't be who we are or where we are today, if we had changed even the slightest thing. It took me a bit to realize that. I am someone who always said that I never believed in what if's. But, I found myself living just that. I almost let it consume me in fact. We cannot change the past, its gone. What we do in the present and future is what we have control over... I will not deny that I had hopes and wishes that never came to fruition over my upbringing. I think as adults it is easy for us to look back upon our parents and judge them for the choices they made. We can think that we could have made better decisions than them, that our lives would have been better in one way or another, but the truth is... that time has passed. We are old enough to make choices, and if I look back on my own choices so far... I have not done much better as an adult than you did. I do not hate you or father. I never did. My wish as a child had been to have the strength to stand up for myself. To stand up to you, to you both. I wish I would have shouted to tallest mountains how I wanted you to be more involved in my life,...How I felt so alone at times... But as time went on, I became so used to it... that it became my life, it was what I found to be comfortable... and that wish soon died away... It wasn't until I met the Rizzoli's that those wishes found there way back into me head. I am adult, so I should have reached out to you both when these feelings came back. I should have been strong enough then to say to you,

_Mom,... Dad,... I love you both very much, I am and always have been thankful for the life you gave me. I hope you are proud of the accomplishments that I have reached so far. I know you both have your own lives, but I would like for us to share __in a more involved relationship. I want for us to get know one another better. I need for you both to be apart of my life... Dad I want to take time and travel with you, I think I could learn so much from you...Mother I want to learn more about art, I have an educated view, but would like you to teach me an abstract view..._

That is what I should have said back then...Now, I just want you both to be apart of my life... I am getting married...We plan to have a family of our own, and I can only hope you will be apart of your grandchildren's lives. I am not talking about a once a year, or twice a year relationship either. I am talking about weekly communication...Holiday get togethers...maybe a family vacation every now and then... I need and want you both in my life. I know I was raised in the proper ways, I know I was taught to call you Mother and Father, but now... I want a Mom and Dad.

Mom,...I know that you still have to tell me your big secret,...your big mistake in life. I think I already have an idea what that is, but I know you need to clear it out of your own mind. I understand that. So go ahead and tell me, I will not judge, I will not hate... I just want to move forward and I can only hope that you both do to."

Constance was crying, so was William. He moved closer to Maura on the couch and gave her a kiss and hug. "I love you Maura, I always have. I know what your mother is about to tell you. For years I have resented her for it, but I too was to blame. I agree with you that the past is over. I want a future with you, your soon to be wife and children. I want to get to know these Rizzoli's, I hear they are very loving and wise people. I owe them a big thanks for taking you into their family and loving you. You have always been in my thoughts, know that. I should have gotten over my fear of your rejection. As the years went by and the distance grew, I told myself that you didn't want me in your life, other than a few emails here and there. Let's be honest we were both very clinical to one another. That was my fault, I allowed a wall to be built. I was too ashamed of my behavior to reach out and tell you that I wished we could become close again. So,... let's wipe that slate clean. I want to be your Dad, and I cannot wait to be a grandpa, I promise to do right by them. I would like to move forward too."

Constance looked upon Father and no... she was looking upon Dad and Daughter as they embraced. She heard all of their words and felt more at ease with what she still had to get out, then she would be able to get on the moving forward band wagon. So Constance began to explain what she had consciously done all those years ago. Maura was not surprised to here this, she was however a bit sad to know that she had done it on purpose. Maura had always thought it was unintentional. She had always thought it was because her parents love was so great, that they were just so wrapped up with one another. It was a bit disconcerting to know that her Mother had been so cunning and controlling. While she felt bad for her father, she also felt that he chose money and career over her. He could have very easily said no to Constance. Maybe it was his love for her mother after all that made him do what he did. Point was, Maura listened then she decided to let it go. There was no need for her to dissect what happened or didn't happen. The important thing was that they were here now. They both chose to support her in her new life. They both were okay with her decision to marry a woman. Not a lot of old school parents were so easily understanding with their children. She was lucky that she had the more liberal parents. So when it came time to respond to her Mother, her mom. She spoke from her heart.

"Mom, like I said earlier the past is done. I do not hate you for what happened. I cannot even say that I wish we did this sooner, because well we wouldn't be here today. I can't say that in the past I would have reacted positively to what you just shared. I am in the right place now though. I am not upset, I am not hurting over it. I want you to forgive yourself. I hope dad no longer resents you, or if he does, that he too can find forgiveness. I know you both love each other very much still, and I hope you two will spend more time together and less time apart. It's time for you both to be that amazing couple that I idolized. I always hoped that I would find a love that was like yours. I have to say that I think I did. Actually, no offense, but I think our marriage will be one for the books. I could never love anyone more than I do Jane. I would give up everything up just for her. I do not need a career, money, designer clothes... I would even give up my shoe collection for her. All I need in life is her by my side."

Constance walked over and joined her husband and daughter on the couch. She embraced Maura first and gave her a kiss, then she embraced her husband. They shared a chaste kiss, and a meaningful look. They were all going to be okay. They had their daughter back, and they had each other too. It had been along time since the two felt "in love" with each other. They had a lot to look forward to.

Constance had wiped all of her tears away and smiled as she spoke excitedly "Well we still have a few things to accomplish before your big day on Friday. Judge Sarah O'Connor will be officiating and asked if you and Jane would stop in to see her sometime tomorrow so she could go over the ceremony. I know you both will be busy moving, but maybe if your dad and I help, we can get you gals moved in quicker. It's 3 pm now and I have to meet Angela at 5pm to go over some last minute stuff. Maura why don't you see if Jane wants a break from packing. The three of you could head over to Fenway and meet with the caterers for me. I was to meet with them at 4pm, but maybe you would like to do that, before heading to dinner."

Maura smiled at her mom, this felt so wonderful and natural. "that sounds like a good plan, I would like to see the venue and I think Jane would enjoy getting a break. Why don't we drop you off with Angela and you both can get an earlier start. Then I know the dinner is meant for Jane and Dad to get to know one another, but I see know reason why you and Angela couldn't join us. They will have a few hours before then to talk, what do you think dad?"

William was beyond happy. He was finally able to enjoy his daughter without feeling like he had to hold back. He could see a brighter future with Constance, the love of his life. He never stopped loving her, but he had to admit they had grown apart and allowed for their separate careers to take precident. He was looking forward to rekindling that love. "Yes, I think that would be great. I would like for us all to enjoy dinner together as a family. After we meet with the caterers, we could always go somewhere to talk. Maybe a before dinner drink,, or coffee. Where would you ladies like to have dinner?"

Constance replied rather quickly, "I would love to go back to that bar place where they had burgers and milkshakes. When Jane first put me in my place so to speak."

Maura laughed at the memory, "Okay, the Dirty Robber it is. How about me meet you and Angela there at say 6:30pm., now lets go get Jane."

They left the suite and headed back to the Beacon Hill house.

Jane and the guys were able to get most everything packed up. They all decided that Maura would be the one to direct them in the packing of her closet. They did not want to even attempt it without her.

The living room had become the staging area, so that they could load the truck the next morning with ease. The beds had been taken down as well, so tonight they would be sleeping on the floor, Jane had yet to inform Maura of this plan. When Maura arrived they were about to start cleaning the empty rooms. Jane was more than happy to take a break and the guys were also happy. Frost, Frankie and Korsak headed out early then wit promises to be back bright and early in the morning. Angela was happy to hear that she and Constance would be joining the others for dinner, after the long morning she was looking forward to the break. Within 15 minutes of arriving, Jane, Maura and William headed out for Fenway.

Once they met with the caterer and made sure everything was just as they had requested, they headed

to a cafe across from the commons. They decided it was too nice an afternoon to stay indoors, so they placed a to go order and sat on a bench. The three of them shared small talk while they enjoyed their coffees, William asking Jane how she liked her time in Europe. What she liked the best and what she may not have liked. Maura was not paying too much attention because she realized that she never bought Jane a wedding present. So she quickly excused herself, hopped in the car and drove the 5 min to get to Faneuil Hall. It was the closest Victoria Secret to where they were.

Maura had a hard time deciding on which outfit Jane would enjoy seeing her in the most, so she bought her 3. A red lace merrywidow, an all white embroidered daisy apron babydoll, and a black satin and lace cami and tap short set. Then while she was there she chose some outfits that she felt jane would be comfortable in, but yet sexy at the same time. Before she knew it she was adding a cut out teddy and french maid outfit to Jane's gift. She was so wet, just from the thoughts of Jane seeing her in them. She finally settled on several button up sleep shirts, boxer pajama sets, and a few cami and short sets. When she was done she decided to make one more stop at Amazing on Stuart Street before heading back. There she was able to buy some fun little toys top add into Jane's gift bag. She bought the Lesbian Sex Card Game, which contained over 100,000 possible fantasies to play out, a double delight strap-on and an assortment of erotic massage oils. Once she made her purchase, she ran into a coffee shop to use there restroom, once she removed her soaked panties, she headed back to meet up with Jane and her dad. She had to get the picture of Jane wearing that strap-on out of her head.

While Maura was away Jane and William had a really nice talk. William listened to the story of how Jane and Maura first met, how Jane was scared to tell Maura how she felt, and how she almost ruined the best thing to ever happen to her, how Maura was her life. She then made her promises to never hurt Maura, and to always be there for her. Once that was out of the way, the bonding started. They talked baseball, football and even hockey. Jane talked to him a little bit about her own father and how she no longer had a relationship with him.

William thought to himself that Frank Rizzoli was a very stupid man. He could not believe that he gave up on Angela and her family. From what he saw they were wonderful, loving people. "I am sorry Jane, you and your family did not deserve that. I cannot speak for him, I do not know what went through his head when he left. I do know from my own mistakes as a father, that I am thankful that Maura could see past what I did, and forgive me. I abandoned her emotionally, and then later physically by throwing myself into my work. I had wanted to reach back out to her, but was afraid of the response that I might get, so I never tried. Maybe your father feels the same, I do not know. I can't say if you were to reach out that it would end up happy. However, if you are strong enough to try, I think you should. Whatever you decide though, remember this, I am here if you ever need me. I am not going to replace your father, I am just another option. You will be my daughter too soon, so if you are comfortable with it, you can call me dad, if not, William is fine too."

Jane loved this man. She could see so much of him in Maura. It was so easy to talk to him, he was very down to earth. She looked forward to spending a lot more time with him. They even discussed taking in a few games with each other. She also respected his view about her own father.

"Thank you. I think I would like to call you dad. I may interchange that with William every now and then. But I like the idea of you being my father figure. It may take me time to forgive my Pop, that's what I referred to him as, I think that's why it would be easy for me to call you dad, because he wasn't that to me. When that day comes, if all works out, the three of us can go for a drink. If it doesn't work out, I will be okay with that too, because I have you now and then you and I will go for a drink."

William smiled at Jane and gave her a hug and a kiss to the cheek, "welcome to the family Jane, now where did that soon to be wife of yours go?

Jane and William looked around and then noticed Maura getting out the car, they got up and headed over to join her. Jane gave Maura a chaste kiss and then leaned into her ear, "Where did you go off to? You missed out on a very nice talk. I love you dad so much."

Maura smiled back at Jane and whispered, "Where I went is a secret that will not be revealed until our wedding night. I will give you a hint though, it made me so wet, that I am now in commando mode."

Jane swallowed hard, she could only imagine and that was causing her to become wet as well. She blinked away her thoughts and said, "Okay, so are we ready to head to dinner."

That evening found everyone celebrating their future. They all were on a path to a new beginning. William and Constance had snuck off for a few minutes to the bar, and returned with some champagne. They made a toast to family and well wishes for Jane and Maura. Then William raised his glass and said,"We have an announcement to make. Constance and I have decided that we will be settling back down here in Boston. We want to be around all of you, our family."

Everyone took turns hugging Constance and William and extending there happiness at the announcement. An hour later they all called it a night, and headed to their respective homes. Angela headed to the guest house and Jane and Maura to the main. When Maura reached the Master bedroom, she turned to look at Jane with her head cocked sideways. "Jane, where are we sleeping tonight?"

Jane laughed, the look on Maura's face was precious. "Babe, remember when you talked about the conditions you lived in when in Africa, well just remember that these conditions are still better than that. We get the floor tonight."

A big smirk came over Maura's face, "I think you need to rephrase that, You get the floor, I get your comfy body." Maura then pulled Jane to the floor and proceeded to lay herself on top, nestling her nose into Jane's neck and squirming around until she was completely comfortable.

Jane didn't mind at all, she had Maura and that is all she needed. Now maybe in the morning when she couldn't move, she might rethink this, but until then, she just closed her eyes and held her Love.

Thursday went off without a hitch. They were moved in and settled by the time they had to go to rehearsal. Yes, they still had a some unpacking to do, but nothing major. The whole family went out to dinner after the rehearsal and by 8pm were calling it an early night. Maura retired to her parents suite for the night, while Jane stayed with her Ma in the guest house. They decided to keep to tradition with staying apart until the actual wedding.

Maura texted Jane once she was ready for bed," I love you and I cannot wait for us to be married. Have a good nights rest and I will see you soon."

Jane texted back,"I Love you so much too babe, and I cannot wait either. Tomorrow can not come soon enough. Sweet dreams."


	33. Chapter 33:The Big Day Part 1

A/N: I broke the wedding into 2 separate chapters. I was originally going to have some drama during the wedding, but then decided to have it occur before hand. I didn't want to take away from the ceremony. This has been a really fun journey. I guess you could classify this as my third story, My first is still not done,(Protect my Family) However this has become my favorite to write. I never expected to receive such positive reviews, I once again want to say thank you to each and everyone of you. A lot of you have been guest reviewers and I can not personally thank you, but I would like to personally thank the following, I must say I found myself seeking out your reviews after I posted. They truly brought a big smile to my face. Witchbladejar1, Jo(guest),xXXRizzlesXXx, mrj726,and Jclimactic.

I had a guest reviewer ask if I would write another story that continued on after this one, which would be about their life after the wedding. I am taking a survey, would you like for me to do that, or would you rather have an epilogue and end the journey. Either way, Continuation or Epilogue, will not be up until next monday. Taking a short Holiday. So let me know and hope you enjoy!

Chapter 33: The Big Day

Maura woke up at 5am. She was too excited to even think about sleeping any longer. This was the biggest day in her whole life. In 8 hours she would be marrying her best friend, her soul mate. She was looking forward to their future together. She went about taking a shower and getting dressed in her yoga outfit. When she finally made it into the living room area of her parents suite, she saw her parents were already up and dressed as well. They decided to head down to the restaurant to get some breakfast. The Ceremony was at 1pm but she needed to be at Fenway by 12:30. Her Hair and Makeup were scheduled for 11am. That would give her enough time to get dressed, and be ready for the limo pickup at noon. That left 4 hours to relax with her parents. When they had finished breakfast they retired back to the suite to look over some home listings the real estate agent had found.

On the other side of Boston Commons, in Beacon Hill. Jane was just waking up. She had noticed a missed text from Maura. Jane shook her head when she saw that it had been sent 2 hours earlier at 5 am. She would need to work on the early riser, and teach her how to sleep in. Jane was excited and nervous all rolled into one. She sent Maura a quick text back, then jumped into the shower. When she came out, Angela had breakfast already to go for her. Angela was a force to be reckoned with this morning, it was like ADHD Angela. She was bouncing off the walls.

"My baby girl is getting married today! Are you nervous? Do you have the rings? When do we have to be at the hairdressers? Wait 'til you see the dress that Constance helped me pick out. Oh, I cannot wait to see what you are wearing. Maura wouldn't tell me a thing. You are both going to be so beautiful. I hope I have enough tissues." Angela kept rattling on and on.

Jane was beginning to stress from her mother's antics. Jane was about to retreat to the main house to get some cleaning done, when there was a knock on the door. She looked to her Ma, who just shrugged her shoulders. When she went to answer it, she was shocked. It was the last person she expected to see, and it was the last person she wanted to see.

"What the Hell Janie? I have to find out from the papers that you are getting married. I have to find out that my daughter is a fucking dyke. What the hell is wrong with you? Didn't you learn a damn thing in Catholic School? You are about to commit a sin, you will surely go to hell. I will not allow this. My daughter is not marrying a woman, my Janie is not a lesbian! You just need to find a man with a big dick to take care of you."

Jane slapped her Father with all she had across his face. "Who the fuck do you think you are? I will tell you who you are not, YOU ARE NOT MY POP! My POP is dead to me. You have no right to talk to me about the church or sins. Divorce is a sin, Adultery is a sin, being faithful and in love is not a sin! You are not welcome in my life, so get the fuck out of my face."

Angela was shaking, she couldn't believe what was happening. How dare he show up and do this to her daughter. She went to reach for Jane and pull her back into the room. Frank saw her for the first time, and proceeded to verbally attack her. "What the hell did you do to our daughter? Just because I got sick of your fat ass and annoying ways, you go and bad mouth men to her. You brainwashed her against men didn't you! Are you a fucking dyke too Angela?, that I could believe, fucking you was like fucking a dead cow."

Jane pushed her Ma out of the way and decked her father, she hit him so hard that his nose broke. Her hand stung, but it felt so good. I suggest you get the fuck out of here and never come back. Ma has always deserved someone way better than you. You are a worthless piece of trash. If you don't want to end up in jail, I suggest you leave now!"

Jane then pushed him out of the entryway and slammed the door. She was shaking and had to sit down. Why did he have to come by? Why couldn't he just stay out of her life? Jane began to cry now, she needed Maura. She needed to see her, hold her.

Angela sat next to Jane and wrapped her arms around her. "I am so sorry Janie. I never thought he would show up. I thought he was out of our lives for good. I know it's hard, but try to let it go. You have a beautiful lady to marry today. I am so proud of you, and I love you both so much. What you both have is special. Those who cannot see it, those who feel the need to bash it, those are the ones who will never have what you too have. They are too shallow to understand what love is."

Jane and Angela sat there for a few more minutes in silence. Jane was able to calm herself down, and get her mind back to where it needed to be. She needed to clean her face up and get ready for the day. She had her hair and makeup appointment in the afternoon, but after what happened she needed to see William Isles. There was something she needed for him to do for her. She just hoped Maura would understand.

William was playing chess with Maura when his cell had gone off. It was a text from Jane.

"_Can you meet me in the commons in 15 minutes, I need to ask a favor. Please don't tell Maura"_

William typed his reply,_ "I will be there, lets meet at the entrance to the swan boats."_

William apologized to Maura, saying that something came up and he needed to step out for a bit, but would be back as soon as he could. Maura thought nothing of it, and went to find her mom.

William could see Jane sitting on a bench and went to greet her. "Good morning Jane, It has turned out to be a beautiful day, no rain in site." He gave her a hug and peck on the cheek.

Jane smiled at him and agreed, "Yes, it is a beautiful day."

William could sense that Jane was nervous, upset about something." Jane has something happened? Are you having second thoughts on marrying my daughter? It is okay to be nervous."

Jane let out a deep breath and shook her head, "No, it's not that. I am not even nervous, in fact one o'clock cannot come soon enough for me. If I seem out of sorts, it is because I had an unwelcome visitor this morning. My father saw the wedding announcement and was not too happy with it. He is unhappy that I am marrying a woman. He said some very nasty things to my Ma and I. I am working on letting it go, but there is something that I need to happen for me to feel better. I need to ask if it would be okay with you, if I took your name. I don't know how Maura will react to it, she seemed to be set on taking mine, something about the word flow, it sounding better. I just, I do not want my children to be associated with that man. I would rather they grew up as an Isles. I know the name does not define me, but I just..."

William cut Jane off, "I would be honored to have you take our name. I think Maura will understand and be okay with it. It will be nice to have someone carry on the Isles name. Does your Ma know? Does she approve? "

Jane was so relieved, she didn't know why she had thought to be nervous in asking him of this."No, I will though. She has 2 sons to carry the name. I think she will be okay, we will still have it in the middle, but thank you. I need to get the change over to the Judge, I know Maura does not want to see me before the wedding, so do you think you could talk to her for me? Make sure she knows that I am okay. I just don't want to text this, I think she should here it straight on. Tell her that I love her and can't wait to be married."

William gave Jane a hug and agreed to tell Maura. They talked for a few more minutes and then went their separate ways.

When Maura's Dad got back he asked if she would like to continue their chess game, which she happily agreed to. Maura could tell that he had something on his mind, so she asked "Dad, do mind my asking, where did you go before? You seem very preoccupied at the moment."

William smiled at his daughter, she was always very perceptive. Just then Constance walked into the room, greeted her husband and took a seat on the couch. Then William said, "You caught me Maura, I do have something on my mind. I just met with Jane, since she is not allowed to see you she asked me to convey our conversation. She didn't want to talk over the phone about this, in fact I really think she wants to see you, but she knows how important it is to you, to be a traditionalist."

William could see that Maura was beginning to panic, so he quickly put that to rest."She is not canceling out if that is what you were thinking. On the contrary, she wants time to speed up, she needs for one o'clock to be here. Jane had a rough morning, her father showed up and well let's just say, he did not respond well to your upcoming nuptials. His reaction and the hurt he inflicted on her, well it made her think about her future with you and you're future family. She says that you were adamant about wanting to be a Rizzoli, that you wanted to take her name. She would like for you to reconsider, she would like to take our name. That is why she asked to see me, to ask for my blessing with that."

Maura was shocked, how dare Frank Rizzoli show up now of all days."Dad, I hope that didn't upset you, my choosing the Rizzoli name. I didn't think you would mind since a daughter usually gives up her maiden name. However, I do understand what Jane must be feeling. I would love for her to carry our name as well. It will have a bit of a weird ring to it if we hyphenate, but just think we may have a son someday and he can carry out your name. I need to at least call Jane, let her know that I am okay with it. I need to know she is really okay too."

"I was never upset dear. Now go call your wife" William laughed.

Maura got up and gave her dad a kiss and hug, then left the room to call Jane.

Jane's phone began to ring out, it was the song that would play as they walked down the aisle, she knew it was Maura..

"Hey Babe, Is it time yet? I miss you."

Maura smiled as she heard Jane's voice. "Hello Love, I miss you too. Only 4 more hours now. I wanted you to know that I would be happy for us to be Rizzoli Isles, or however you want to word it. I just can't wait to be legally Maura and Jane. Last name is a formality. I am truly sorry for what happened to this morning, and I really wish I had been there for you."

Jane smiled, she really loved this woman. "Thank you Maura, it means a lot to me. I actually think I might like to change to Isles. I talked to Ma, and she understands. She actually likes the sound of it. So what do you say to, Mrs. Jane Isles at home and Detective Jane Rizzoli Isles at work."

Maura was happy that Jane sounded so well, that meant she had let him go for now. Maybe down the road she would need to talk or cry, and she would be there for her. "I love the sound of it. I love you and will see you soon"

"I love you too babe, I will be waiting." Jane said before ending the call.

Jane and Maura spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon getting ready. By the time the Limo had arrived to pick Jane and Angela up, her Ma had already taken at least 1000 pictures, well that's what it felt like to Jane at least. By 12:15 they were heading into Fenway Park. The field was covered in a large white tarp. Chairs were set up on two sides, behind the 1st to 2nd base line, and behind the 2nd to 3rd base line. Each dugout had a small white tent setup for each of the brides and their families to wait. The Pitchers Mound was set up for Judge Sarah O' Connor to officiate, not only was she a Judge, but she was also an ordained minister. The mound had a small raised podium for them to stand on. A Black runner that was topped with white lace runner, so it stood out, ran from the mound to the home plate. Off in Left field was a small orchestra that Constance and William had arranged to have. Jane took it all in and then headed to her family tent, and awaited the ceremony.

Maura and her parents arrived at Fenway at 12:40, Maura was nervous that they were cutting it so close. Upon arrival she was quickly maneuvered into the tent set up for her family. Angela who couldn't wait to see Maura, quickly found her way in.

"Oh, Maura, you are breathtaking. Wait 'til Janie sees you! I just wanted to see you and give you a hug. I better get back, we will need to get to our places soon."

Maura was laughing, Angela was beyond her usual self today. She wondered how Jane was coping.

The orchestra along with Rondo and his guys began to play A Wonderful World, this was Jane's cue. She was walked down the aisle with Her Ma on her one arm and Korsak on her other. Awaiting them at the podium were her 2 brothers one side and Frost on the other. When she arrived she gave her Ma a kiss and Korsak a hug, they both then took a seat to her left as she turned to face home plate. The waiting was over.


	34. Chapter 34The Big Day Part 2

Chapter 34: Big Day Part 2

As Jane had turned the orchestra began to play Amazed by Lonestar. This was Maura's cue to walk down the aisle. She had her Mom and Dad on either side of her. Jane's breath was taken away. Maura was beautiful, but today she was even more so. They locked eyes as a man began to sing the words to their song, and Maura slowly progressed towards her.

_Every time our eyes meet  
This feeling inside me  
Is almost more than I can take  
Baby when you touch me  
I can feel how much you love me  
And it just blows me away  
I've never been this close to anyone or anything  
I can hear your thoughts  
I can see your dreams_

I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life  
With you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby I'm amazed by you

The smell of your skin  
The taste of your kiss  
The way you whisper in the dark  
Your hair all around me  
Baby you surround me  
You touch every place in my heart  
Oh it feels like the first time every time  
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes

I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life  
With you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby I'm amazed by you

Every little thing that you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life  
With you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Oh, every little thing that you do

Maura was handed off to Jane by her parents by the last line, and Jane took over and sang the last line to her "Baby I'm amazed by you".

They had joined hands now and turned towards Judge O'Connor.

Thank you, God, for the strong bond of love that exists between Maura and Jane. Thank you for this wedding ceremony with family, friends and loved ones. We are grateful for your presence with us here today and for your divine sanction of this blessed event, the marriage day of Maura and Jane. Amen.

Our first reading will be read by family friend Barry Frost

Barry takes the podium and reads:

**The Art of Marriage**

A good marriage must be created.

In the art of marriage the little things are the big things –-  
It is never being too old to hold hands.  
It is remembering to say 'I love you' at least once each day.  
It is never going to sleep angry.  
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.  
It is standing together facing the world.  
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.  
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.  
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.  
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.  
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.  
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.  
It is not only marrying the right partner –-  
It is being the right partner.

Barry steps down and Frankie takes his place on the podium. I was asked to share with you today one of Janes and Maura's favorite poems. They each share these words with one another. I love you both very much, I wish for you a very long and happy life.

**Love by Roy Croft**  
I love you  
Not only for what you are,  
But for what I am  
When I am with you.  
I love you,  
Not only for what  
You have made of yourself,  
But for what  
You are making of me.  
I love you  
For the part of me  
That you bring out;  
I love you  
For putting your hand  
Into my heaped-up heart  
And passing over  
All the foolish, weak things  
That you can't help  
Dimly seeing there,  
And for drawing out  
Into the light  
All the beautiful belongings  
That no one else had looked  
Quite far enough to find  
I love you because you  
Are helping me to make  
Of the lumber of my life  
Not a tavern  
But a temple.  
Out of the works  
Of my every day  
Not a reproach  
But a song.  
I love you  
Because you have done  
More than any creed  
Could have done  
To make me good.  
And more than any fate  
Could have done  
To make me happy.  
You have done it  
Without a touch,  
Without a word,  
Without a sign.  
You have done it  
By being yourself

Frankie then went back to his place beside his brother.

Judge O'Connor announced "**At this time Maura and Jane will now exchange their you may begin."**

Maura took Janes hands in hers and looked into her eyes

******"You are my inspiration and my soul's fire.  
You are the magic of my days.  
You help me laugh, you teach me love.  
You provide a safe place for me, unlike I've ever known.  
You free me to sing my own song.  
You are more of an amazement to me, each day I rediscover you.  
You are my greatest boon.  
I am yours.  
You are mine.  
Of this we are certain.  
You are lodged in my heart.  
The small key is lost.  
You must stay there forever."**

Jane who was squeezing Maura's hands, smiled and began her vows

"**In your eyes, I have found my home.  
In your heart, I have found my love.  
In your soul, I have found my mate.  
With you, I am whole, full, alive.  
You make me laugh. You let me cry.  
You are my breath, my every heartbeat.  
I am yours.  
You are mine.  
Of this we are certain.  
You are lodged in my heart.  
The small key is lost.  
You must stay there forever."**

Judge O'Connor then said"**The circle has long been a symbol for marriage.  
These circles are made of precious metal to represent the precious nature of your relationship.  
Being unbroken circles, each represents unending love.  
As often as either of you look upon these rings, may you be reminded of this moment and the love you have promised to one another."**

"**What do you give each other as a symbol of this pledge?"**

Frost and Tommy then present the rings to Judge O'Connor

She hands each one to Maura and Jane

**Jane, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and that I am choosing to share my life's journey with you.  
I give you this ring with the pledge to love you today, tomorrow, and always.**

Maura slides the ring onto Jane's finger.

**Maura, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and that I am choosing to share my life's journey with you.  
I give you this ring with the pledge to love you today, tomorrow, and always.  
**  
Jane slides the ring onto Maura's finger.

Judge O'Connor places her hands over Maura and Jane's joined ones and says

**Bless O God, these rings that Maura and Jane wear, and may they ever abide in thy peace, living together in unity, in love, and in happiness.  
Amen.**

**By the power vested in me by the State of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you Wife and Wife, you may kiss your bride.**

Maura and Jane leaned in and gave each other a kiss full of so much meaning, they were lip locked for what seemed like minutes. When they broke away they had the biggest smiles on their faces. Everyone was cheering for them. Then Judge O'Connor began to speak.

"**Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you Mrs. Dr. Maura Isles, and Mrs. Jane Isles.**

Everyone stands to give applause, Maura and Jane each share kisses and hug s with their immediate family. The Orchestra began to play the recessional song Joy by Apollo 100. Jane and Maura made their way back towards home plate and were escorted to the EMC club. They then changed into their Red Sox Jerseys and White Pants. Once changed they exchanged more kisses. They were both in a state of euphoria. They were on cloud nine. Angela and Constance soon sought them out, letting them know they needed to get out there and greet their guests. They exchanged one final kiss before they headed out to the reception. It was time to celebrate, later that night they could be alone, but right now it was family time.


	35. Chapter 35:Epilogue

**A/N: So I decided to give you an epilogue that takes us to their one year anniversary. I have never given a date to the wedding, but will do so now. That way you will have a reference day.**

**I am going to go with Aug 11th as being the day (Sasha Alexanders anniversary). **

**I will be continuing the story for those of you who are interested. I will be taking a small break though. I want to finish my other story Protect the Family first, writing 2 stories at the same time, and trying to keep up with them daily was very difficult. **

**The next story will take off from 8/11 and will include the whole family, with of course the major focus on Jane and Maura. There will be fluff and drama along the way. **

Chapter 35: Epilogue

Maura and Jane spent the evening enjoying their time with family and friends. It was not just a celebration of their wedding, but a celebration for the future. That night they made love as wife and wife for the first time. Jane really enjoyed her wedding gifts, they made love into the wee hours of morning.

That weekend they helped Angela, Tommy and Lydia get all settled into their new places on Saturday. Angela happily spent most of her time in the kitchen preparing the family many meals that they could freeze and reheat for their upcoming work week. Sunday found them making the final touches on their own house. Yes, Maura and Jane agreed to redo each room one at a time, making it really theirs. For now though, all was clean and everything was put away. Maura asked Angela if just this once they could host a family dinner at their new house, as a thank you to everyone for all of their help. Angela had agreed as long as she could help cook, which Maura could never say no to.

They soon fell back into their work routine, murders and more murders. The only difference was how they were able to come home each and every night to each other. They looked forward to their firsts as a married couple. Their first Halloween giving out candy to the neighborhood children, Their first Thanksgiving with the whole family at Angela's. Then there was their first Christmas, there was something truly magical about that time of year. The new year would be one of promise, they would be starting a family, they were truly happy, and the rest of their family was happy as well.

Tommy and Lydia would be getting married, and they were expecting twins in September. Tommy had a stable job working for the Boston Beer Company. He started out in packaging and had recently began working in the shipping department. He didn't know how he was going to break it to his family, but her recently excepted a promotion and transfer to there Breinigsville, Pa location. It was 5 hours from Boston. It was a lot more money and he needed to think of his growing family. It would crush his Ma, but they could always visit for long weekends. Lydia's Mother was doing very well, and was 2 years clean. She would be going with them.

Frankie had been dating the same girl for eight months, Samantha, a school teacher. They had been recently talking about moving in together.

.

Angela also had found love, she and Sean had been able to work things out and were almost inseparable. Jane finally came to terms with it and was very happy for them.

Constance and William were true to their word, they were around more than they were away. William was teaching at Boston University, he taught the Origins of Civilizations, out of the Archeology Department. This class would require less travel than his previous courses. Constance opened up her own Art studio near the School of the Museum of Fine Arts, where she taught a few courses. It worked out well for her and William, because they chose to work within a few miles of one another. They ate lunch together most days, and their marriage was growing, they had found their way back into each others hearts, without isolating their family.

Korsak was dating as well. Angela had set him up with her widowed sister Anna. She had just moved back to Boston after having lived 30 years in St. Louis with her husband, who had died just over 3 years ago. She had been a veterinarian technician there, but found employment at the MSPCA, where she managed there Boston Adoption Center. It was a perfect match, as they shared a love for animals.

Frost seemed to be the only one who had been unlucky in love and this did not go unnoticed by the gang. Angela, with the help of Anna, Constance and Maura made it their mission to find him a girl.

So life was moving along for everyone involved, they had hadn't had any crazy serial killers or major drama in almost a year. They hoped their luck would continue.

Sunday August 11th, Jane and Maura were wrapping up their anniversary weekend getaway at an Inn in Gloucester, Massachusetts. They had enjoyed 3 days at the beach. Today they planned on staying in and enjoying each other, this evening they would head back home. It had been one wonderful year, and this weekend they promised each other that they would stick to their plans from a year ago. It was time to get Maura pregnant. Tomorrow Maura would make an appointment with her GYN Doctor to discuss their options...

_**To be Continued **_


End file.
